The Angel Exorcist
by Eri Reed
Summary: There is a girl nicknamed the Angel Exorcist. Her name is Karena, and she is in a search to find her uncle after her father dies. But to do that, she'll need the help of her Exorcist comrades and to face an enemy who's stolen her heart.
1. The First Chapter

I still remember that time so long ago.

When we were so young and everything was okay for the briefest of moments because there was no such thing as 'mortal enemies' just yet.

I was just a little thing, on a search for my uncle.

I'd seen the entire world trying to find him after my father died, and everything I was working for was becoming overwhelming by the time I ended up in Portugal.

How old was I? Around ten? I suppose.

On the streets, I met a little girl. She was wearing a dress; brunette and cute. The tall man beside her handed me a piece of paper: an invitation. Her name was Avelina, and I was to attend her ninth birthday party. Later that night, when I arrived at her party, exhausted and pessimistic that my journey wasn't turning out how I wanted, Avelina led me up to her room and on to her balcony.

She was quite the pampered little girl – that much I could tell already by her room with a bed fit for a queen, a canopy draping over it, and stuffed animals, dolls and jewelry galore. It was more than I had ever had in my life. Avelina pointed down to the world below, where the heads of all present could be seen. I wasn't impressed in the least, for I had been higher than this and bent the air with the simplest of gestures. I simply frowned at all of this, not amused and not really caring if my frown would upset the nine-year-old. The summer air was cool on this night, and thinking back, I wonder if it was because fate knew who was there.

That was the night everything had changed.

He caught my eye immediately. His wavy, raven hair was to his shoulders, skin light, and eyes dark but alluring to me. He stood beside a taller boy – lighter hair than he – who looked like he was having a great time already. However, I couldn't take my eyes off the younger-looking boy beside him. He looked to be about…seventeen, maybe sixteen? I was only ten, so what right did I have to be staring at his beauty?

He was handsome – granted. I knew I shouldn't have, but I was a curious thing, so I nudged Avelina and asked, "Who is that down there?"

The girl – interrupted in her babbling about how fluent she was in speaking English because her daddy bought her the best tutors money can buy – came to my side to look down at the crowd. When she spotted the two boys, she studied them carefully. "Them? Well, I don't know – they were probably invited by my daddy. Why?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No reason."

Unfortunately for me, Avelina caught on to my fascination and grabbed my wrist, leading me all the way down to the backyard where all the adults were chatting and enjoying themselves. Avelina dragged me all the way to them, no matter how hard or loud I protested. And when it all came down to the moment when I was face to face with the handsome man, I lost all words. "Hey," Avelina said to them in Portuguese, "who are you?"

The older-looking one knelt in front of Avelina. "We are with the Millennium Earl. You must be the birthday girl, Avelina," he replied.

Avelina nodded excitedly. "Yeah! It's my ninth birthday," she said quite proudly.

I backed away slowly and carefully; I didn't want the younger one talking to me. To my disappointment, he noticed me and said, "And you? Who are you, sweetheart?" I looked at him blankly, not comprehending the language he spoke. But then he repeated himself in English.

I went ridged. For a moment, I seriously forgot my name, looking into those dark eyes. And when I regained myself, my voice came as a squeak: "Karena."

He smiled at me. "Beautiful name."

I remember thinking how that was the best compliment anyone had ever given me – though it wasn't true; I had been called cute and adorable and very intelligent for my age, too. But _beautiful name?_ Why did that sound like the sweetest thing? Though I felt my cheeks burning, I tried to keep a cool façade and asked him, "Yeah? Well, what're your guys' names?" My eyes darted from Pretty-Eyes to his partner.

Pretty-Eyes put a hand to his heart and gave me a small bow. "I am Tyki Mikk, and this is my brother Sheryl Kamelot."

Brothers with different last names confused me at the time, but I kept quiet, being content with knowing his name now.

_Tyki Mikk._

Now _that_ sounded like a beautiful name.

But it wasn't so beautiful later that night when the party became a blood bath. Tyki Mikk was no angel; I don't know anyone that can think that about a person who has his hand through someone's chest, ripping out their heart right in front of you. Avelina and I ran and hid while Tyki Mikk and Sheryl Kamelot went berserk, killing everyone in sight with a strange power I didn't understand at all. All Sheryl had to do make a few simple gestures and a group of people would be distorted into sickening forms. I threw up when a man had his head twisted all the way around landed in front of the bush Avelina and I crouched in. My retching and Avelina's screams are what gave away our position. Tyki made his way over to us.

I couldn't carry Avelina – I just wasn't strong enough to carry someone yet – or if I could, we would be out of there already. But because of my lack of strength, we stood and I pushed Avelina ahead of me so we could run away. I just couldn't bring myself to leave her behind. Tyki wore a smile as he neared us, laughing joyously, calling, "That's right, girls, run and give me some excitement as I kill you!"

Tears of fear streamed down my cheeks as I ran; as I tripped; as I watched Avelina's knees twist in the opposite directions, bones jutting out of the skin, and Avelina collapsed to the floor, screaming more painfully than I had ever heard any of the partygoers. The sight made my gut wrench and I screamed as well. Sheryl came over to Avelina and smiled lightly. "Poor thing," he said dryly, "I was aiming for the redhead, not you." His eyes slid to me. "I'll let Brother handle you, I suppose."

Before I could do anything, a hand grabbed me by my hair and lifted me from the ground. "Karena," said Tyki, enjoying my struggles, tears, and pain, "such a beautiful name." And Tyki raised his hand that glowed dangerously with a pink energy I'd never seen before. For a moment, I looked over to Avelina to see her torso being forced to turn until she'd broken her spine, and I knew I had to leave her then – it was only me left.

So, I activated the power inside me and willed my wings to spread. The large, white wings sprouting from my back brushed against Tyki and he winced, taking in a sharp breath and releasing me. The pain from being held by my hair left my scalp stinging, but I ignored that and took off to the skies with Tyki and Sheryl watching me go, utterly flabbergasted. From above, I saw how much blood there really was, how many corpses there were. It made me sick and I almost vomited again, but I swallowed hard and flew faster than I had ever in my young life.

I thought about how rude I was to Avelina before, and I regretted it the most.


	2. The Second Chapter

After two years, I'd grown accustomed to not getting my hopes up so much. I realized that every time I had a lead on where my uncle could be, he would be gone by the time I got there. One day, I sat down and thought over what I could be doing wrong. Before he had died, _my father_ _took my hand and held it tight. He gave me the best smile he could, hoping that would relieve my tears. His cold hand did nothing to soothe me; the tears in my eyes would not cease to flow. Dad said that he loved me. Then he told me in a feeble voice:_

"_Karena, there is something I haven't told you before. It's about your special power – your wings. There isn't enough time for me to explain to you who or what you are, so" – he used one hand to reach over to the desk beside him, pull out the top drawer, shuffle around and hand me a picture – "I want you to go in search of this man. He will be able to tell you everything." _

_When I studied the dusty, old picture through misty eyes, I remembered the man's face. I found this picture when I was younger and more curious and my dad got mad at me for going through his things. He told me the man in the picture was his brother and that was all I needed to know. I stared a little more at the picture, and then when I looked up at my father-_

I shook my head. I didn't want to remember what happened next. I had to stay focused on what I set out to do, not mull on that day. But I didn't even know his name – how was I supposed to this all by myself? I buried my face in my hands.

I was just hopeless.

**| – – – – | **

The older I got, the more I saw that I was a target. Monsters started popping up around almost every corner, and they were all after me. They repeated the word _innocence, _but I had no idea what that could mean. I assumed that they meant that I was innocent? And for that they wanted to kill me? But then why didn't they try to kill the other children? I couldn't understand why these scary things would come after me. All I knew was that every time I tried to fly away, they'd chase after me, and they wouldn't stop for unusual periods of time.

I could be on the run for weeks before the monsters suddenly stopped following me. And not long after I evaded that attack, it seemed there was another one waiting just around the corner. I saw people get shot by the pink bullets the monsters shot, and then black stars would start appearing on the victims' bodies. After that, they'd turn to dust. It scared me to think about what would happen if I ever got shot; I was not willing to die. So, when I found myself not being chased, I took the liberty of training myself to my limits. I'd find myself a spacious, secluded area where I could do everything I needed without being embarrassed.

Forests were my favorite spot. I was able to find a clearing and do push-ups, sit-ups, and test my strength. I'd kick a tree until my legs were bruised; punch a tree until my knuckles bled; fight with imaginary things to see how far I could range my hits. Push-ups – believe it or not – were the hardest things in my training. I just didn't seem to have much upper-body strength, and at first I'd do three and then stop for about four minutes. However, that improved the more I did, the more I pushed myself. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'd do what I dreaded most – running. I'd start from one side of the forest and I wouldn't stop until I reached the other side…twice.

Sometimes it would get too hot for me, especially in summer, and I'd pass out from not having water handy. The first time I'd ever fallen unconscious, I awoke hours later, feeling shaky, with a dry mouth, barely having enough energy to make it to a store. I did not give up, though; I pressed on with my training. I'd fallen unconscious and had been left there many times. But one day was different. I removed my shirt and spread my wings – convinced that no one was there in the forest that day. It felt good to have them out and not fly for once. I sat under a shady tree, shielded my eyes and gazed up at the heat rays waving almost invisibly in the hot summer air.

Not even the shade of the tree was keeping me cool. Today was not a good day to be training, I decided. I sighed deeply and did nothing for a good few minutes but stare off in the distance and groan at the uncomfortable sweat damping my forehead. The sun was just _trying_ to bake me! As I pulled my hair – which was knotty and longer than my bottom, for I had no way to cut the mess – to one side, I secretly wish to have a fan. A bee buzzed its merry way over to me and tried to land on me, but I was in no mood today to be messed with. I'd never swatted at anything before; I was a kind and gentle girl, despite the horrors I'd seen five years prior. But as fate would have it, today was the day I figured out that I could do more than fly.

At first, I merely brushed the insect off of my warm, damp skin, but when it wouldn't go away (even daring to try to fly in my ear!), I grew impatient and used my whole arm to swat the bug. When I did that, a gust of wind blew the bee away so hard, it splattered against a near tree, which also cracked under the pressure of the wind that I realized came…from my hand! I stared amazedly at my palm. Did that strong wind _really_ just come from there? I stood from where I sat and walked to the middle of the clearing. Let's try that again…

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just tried what I did before, and swung my hand to my left. Again, a gust of wind was emitted from my hand and struck a tree, knocking it straight off the ground. There was a loud crash and I cringed. After I regained myself, I smiled broadly. I knew that I had another power other than flying. I tried swinging my arms different ways and the results were the same: knocking down trees and splitting bark (only when I dared to pretend to make a circular disk formation with my hands and throw the wind like ninja stars). I whooped, rejoicing at my new discovery, flew into the air and did a back-flip with my wings gently lowing me to the floor. As I tried out my power more, I decided that my wings were getting in the way a bit, so I brought them back into my back.

But after I did that, the power didn't work anymore. I tilted my head, confused. "Huh…?" I uttered quietly. By an out-of-the-blue idea, I brought my wings back and tried once more to use my wind powers. Sure enough, it worked. And when I'd removed my wings again, I failed at using the power. It got through to me, then, that my wings powered my ability to bend the air.

So, wanting to know what else I could do, I brought my wings out one last time and continued to train. I trained as hard as I could – liking the feel of being able to hold air in my hand – until the world suddenly started spinning around me. I started to tremble; I felt cold and became aware of how warm my skin felt on the outside though the sweat was ice cold. My wings disappeared in sparkling beauty as the trees before me became smudges of watercolor of mixed brown and green. And once again, I fell to the floor, not expecting to wake up until I regained consciousness.

…However, when I woke, I felt a nice cushion under me. I was in a dim room that smelled of medicine and rubber gloves. I shifted in bed and sat up, holding my head as the world barely started to slow its rotation. A nurse, who was checking a patient's temperature in the bed beside me, spotted my presence and sent a smile my way. She finished up with the sick man and then came over to me. "Miss – Karena, was it?"

I confirmed weakly.

She smiled once again. "Goodness, you were out for quite a while; welcome to the world of the awake," she joked, giggling. She looked a bit young to be a nurse, with curled, pigtailed brown hair and bright eyes.

"How did I get here?" I asked.

"A man brought you in," she said, "but you were unconscious, so I don't expect you to know that. He gave you to the doctors and signed you in as Karena – with no last name, though – and told the owner of the hospital that you were an Exorcist of the Black Order. With that said, you should know that we will not charge you for this, as the Order will pay for it." She giggled. "Oh, I'm sorry; you're an Exorcist, you probably already know that, huh?"

But I shook my head, shocked, and told her that I was alone when I passed out and that I didn't know what an Exorcist or the Black Order were. The girl blinked. "Really?" She frowned. "I suppose you should see the owner. He can probably explain things better than I can. You see, this hospital supports the Black Order." She said that she'd go get some food in me first and then I could go up to the owner's office and talk things out with him.

I allowed that and sat on my comfy bed, bewildered. I found my clothes on the desk beside me all washed and clean (as I wore the hospital's tacky turquoise dress), and I pulled my curtain shut to get dressed. When I found out what the Black Order was, I would make it my mission to find out who was so kind enough as to bring me here.


	3. The Third Chapter

The owner's office smelled better than the rest of the hospital, but it still had that lingering hand-soap smell. After the best (and the most!) food I've had in my life, the nurse from before led me to the room, where the owner kindly asked me to come in and sit down. I did, and the nurse closed the door behind me. The chair before his desk was soft and cushiony. It was more comfortable than the hospital beds, and I sank into the seat right away. A nametag on the desk read **Mitchell Stamos**. The man – balding, white hair on the sides, a gray mustache, and wearing a doctor's uniform – picked up some papers from the desk and flipped through them. "So, your name is Karena?" he asked in a gentle voice that fathers use when they want you to tell them something.

I nodded in confirmation. "Yes, sir."

His gray eyes lifted to meet mine. "Do you have a last name, Miss Exorcist?" he asked.

I shook my head this time. "No, sir, my father didn't have a last name to tell me," I explained. "But I came here specifically to ask you, sir, exactly what is an Exorcist? The nurse told me that someone brought me in here when I was unconscious and said that I was an Exorcist, but I have no idea what that is."

Mitchell blinked twice and then scratched his bald head. "What a predicament: One claiming you're an Exorcist, the Exorcist claiming she doesn't know." He paused. "Karena, how old are you? Would you like for me to get you anything?"

There were many things I wanted to get – a haircut, a cup of soda pop, new clothes, money for the road. But I couldn't ask that and declined politely before informing him that I was fifteen. Mitchell sighed and flipped through some more papers. "Well," he said, finally getting to the point, "the Chief of the Black Order can explain things better than anyone else can; you'll have to go see him to find out if you're an Exorcist. That is, if you are one."

I raised my hands defensively. "I told you, sir: I don't know what an Exorcist is. If I were an Exorcist, I wouldn't know."

The elderly hospital owner sighed. "Exorcists each have special powers, you see, from a thing called Innocence. Sound familiar?" I could tell he was trying to be patient. Despite that, I told him about how I had wings and discovered that I could control air. This fact seemed to intrigue him, as his eyebrows rose up. "Oh?" He organized the papers together and set them down. "That seems like Innocence to me. You might be what they call a Parasitic Accommodator."

I didn't bother to ask him what a Parasitic Accommo-whatever was, so I remained silent and allowed him to go on. Mitchell stood from his desk and went over to his cabinets, pulling out a drawer and searching through until he came across a sheet of paper. When he handed me the paper, I saw that it was a map with directions on the back. As I studied the paper, Mitchell spoke: "These are directions to the Exorcist Headquarters – the Black Order. You must tell no one where you are going – just follow this map's directions and nothing else."

"But why?" I asked, confused.

"Karena, you never know what kind of people are out there. Akuma are already going to be after you, and you don't want to make it any harder if you run into someone who works for the Earl."

"The Earl?" I echoed.

Mitchell had me stand. "No, no time to explain. You're all healed now, so I'd like you to find a hotel to stay in until morning. You will head straight to the Order, and I will call for an escort to meet you" – he pulled down the map and pointed at a location miles away from here – "there – at that exact spot. God be with you, Karena…"

As I left the hospital, the woman at the counter gave me a whole wad of money. I was grateful, because that money would keep me fed the whole way to England. I was currently in Glasgow, and the man at the counter of the hotel informed me that England was three days away. I remembered not to tell him specifically where I was going. My room was spacious and the bed was heavenly. I could have lain there all day had the air not been so humid. It wouldn't do me good to just sit there and do nothing – I had to get out and be active.

I left the hotel and decided to check out the town, estimating the time to be around ten o' clock in the morning. It was nicer here than I thought, finally getting a better perspective than through the trees. It was much cooler today than it was yesterday, but still hot, unfortunately. Cold sweat started to dot my forehead and I used the back of my hand to wipe the moisture away. The city hustled and bustled with people. There was a bakery with a fresh batch of breads nearby, I saw. The smell was tantalizing; it filled my nose and drifted me over to almost drool all over the delicious-looking breads. The baker – a fat man with orange hair sticking out from under his hat – saw me and laughed.

"Hey, there, girlie!" he exclaimed with joy. "You seem to enjoy staring at my batch there. If ya got money, you can have as many as you'd like!"

Was he serious? Oh, how could I refuse? Taking out the money from my pocket, I gave him a bill and he grinned at the sight of the coinage. I took four baguettes, thanked him, and then went on my merry way. As I strolled the town, I ate – the bread crunchy and filling. These would be much better with butter, I decided, but I didn't stop eating them just because of that. So, I strolled along the sidewalk, munching on bread, trying not to get too hot and collapse again. Thinking of collapsing again made me remember that I had to find the person responsible for bringing me to the hospital.

I wondered if they were still in town. In my head-theater, I imagined walking along when I bumped into a handsome boy my age who would say to me slyly, "You should really be thanking me for rescuing you." I smiled to myself at the silly thought. But my smile didn't last long at all, because only a few moments later, the air was pierced with screams. I spun on my heel, teeth biting down on the baguette in my mouth, and saw another one of those monsters from before. This one looked like a pig to me. It stood up tall and looming. "Where is the Innocence?" it squealed.

My heart skipped a beat when I remembered that Mitchell had said something about this 'Innocence.' The pig-monster loaded a pink light in its mouth and blasted away at buildings and people. The monster was after me; it shouldn't be terrorizing these people! Immediately, I dropped the baguettes, confidence taking over me. I willed my wings to spread, a golden shimmer following them out. This monster was going down! People all around me fell to the floor and turned to dust, their screams dying in their throats.

Nearby, there was a woman with a blond little baby. The monster aimed right at her and fired. The woman fell to her knees and protected the baby. She screamed in pain, rolled onto her side, and turned to dust. Now the pig was going toward the child! "Here, baby, baby, baby," it sung. Enough was enough! I dashed forward, flying close to the ground.

The monster loaded its gun.

Almost…

Almost…!

Just as the monster fired, my arms were around the child. I jumped out of the way before bullet could make impact, though it did leave a crater in the sidewalk. Two homeless men stood by, staring at me incredulously. There was no one else around but them, so I gently handed the infant to the taller one and said, "Hold him."

I turned and brought gusts of air to my hands – visible wind twirling around my hands like small twisters. "It's an angel," I heard the bald hobo whisper to his friend. An angel? I never thought of myself that way, but I supposed if I were anyone else but me and I saw a girl with large, white wings, I'd think she was an angel, too.

The pig before me squealed and laughed. "I can sense it," it growled, pink eyes shining brighter. "I can sense the Innocence in you, girl! Give it to me!"

I tried to keep myself calm and collected. I tried to say something cool, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. It seemed that I wasn't as collected as I hoped I was. Though I wasn't very confident, I was strong: Intensifying the wind around my hand up to my elbow, I threw it as hard as I could at the monster like the wind was a baseball. The tornado sharpened at the end and pierced right through the pig. For a moment, its eyes went wide and then he exploded. The two men and I shielded our eyes from the blow.

For about a minute, there was a stunned silence. Then, slowly, people came out from their hiding places and began to clap. Their claps turned to cheers, and the hobo with the baby grinned with tears in his eyes. "An angel sent from God saved a whole town. Won't _this_ be a story to tell the guys back at the mine!"


	4. The Fourth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino. **

"_Look, it's the angel…!"_

"_She can destroy Akuma? She must be an Exorcist…"_

"_Mama, mama, isn't she the Angel Exorcist?"_

The Angel Exorcist: I'd adopted that nickname from everyone. In the three days it took me to get to England, I had encountered the monsters (called "Akuma," I learned), fought them, and killed them. It started out as those two homeless men from Glasgow calling me an angel, and then a villager from another town recognized me as an Exorcist. After saving yet another town from Akuma, I heard a child ask his mother if I was the so-called Angel Exorcist. I don't think I've ever gotten so much attention in my life! After every kill, I was exhausted, so hotels allowed me to stay for free. "We'll put it on the Black Order's bill, mistress Exorcist," they'd say.

In the three days that I grew a reputation in the United Kingdom, the temperature had cooled to a moderate degree, and for that I was grateful. I had finally made it to England where I was supposed to meet my escort to the Black Order. The bench I waited on was starting to make my butt hurt; how long was I to wait anyway? I took out the map and made sure that this was the location I marked three days ago. As my brown eyes scanned the page, someone stepped in front of me, bringing my gaze up to see a man wearing a black and white uniform. He had dark blue eyes and slicked, brown hair. "Are you Karena?" he asked with a rough, edgy voice.

I nodded in confirmation.

"Then come on." And he spun on his heel and walked off. I blinked twice in confusion and hurried after him.

"Hold on, hold on," I called. "Who are you? What's your name? Where exactly are we going?"

The man growled quietly and rolled his eyes. "I'm an Exorcist of the Black Order, foolish girl. Suman Dark is my name, and I'm here to take you to the Order. Though, from the rumors I've heard, you really are an Exorcist, so you'll be an official Apostle in no time."

Suman was a rude little thing, wasn't he. A frown pulled at my lips. _OK, so am I an Apostle or an Exorcist?_ I thought bitterly.

**| – – – – | **

To get into this Black Order place, I was led to a hidden underground passageway. The passageway was a long channel: The water flowed freely, a little boat drifted on the water, waiting for us; torches lined the walls, making the place dim and eerie. My only thought was, _Kinda cliché. _Suman didn't bother helping me in the boat, so I felt like I'd fall over into the water, but I caught my balance and sat quickly. The man watched me and let out a _tsk!_ He impatiently grabbed a long shaft – the oar – and pushed off, rowing us down, down, down the waterway. There was nothing around for me to admire, just water and torches. A thought struck me – what if I was wrong to trust Suman so quickly?

He claimed he was an Exorcist…Apostle…whatever of the Black Order, but how could I know? I've never seen an Exorcist before and I've never been to the Black Order before. For all I knew, I could have just walked right into a trap. I looked back at Suman, his dark blue eyes stern, locked ahead on the path as he rowed. "Suman," I said, "I'm wondering: How can I trust you? How do I know you're not one of those Akuma things?"

Suman scoffed. "See this badge here?" he asked, pointing with a gloved hand to a shiny silver badge over his heart. It was in the shape of a cross and had many intricate designs on the circled center. I nodded. "It's called the Rose Cross and only those associated with the Black Order bear the Cross. Now stop asking me such annoying questions," he snapped, "You can ask the Chief when we get there."

I was going to comment him on his rudeness but decided against it and allowed the man to keep rowing…

…Until we arrived at a platform where Suman brought us to a halt. He hopped out of the boat and headed up the flight of stairs without once looking back at me. I stood abruptly, the water shifting the boat almost threw me right in the water had I not gotten scared and jumped on the concrete platform. I stumbled into the wall and caught my breath. "Suman, wait!" I called after him. Hurrying up the steps, I came to a stop in the doorway where I bumped into a tall man.

He had dark hair and dark eyes, wearing all white and a funny beret. His glasses shined in the dim torchlight and his ponytail draped down his back. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "So, you're the new Exorcist – Karena, correct?"

I nodded. "Yes, um…who are you?" I tilted my head to the side and the man grinned.

"My name is Komui Lee. I am the new chief of the Black Order." He placed his arm around my shoulders and led me inside the bright building. "Welcome, Karena, to your new home."

**| – – – – |**

The Black Order was amazing! Komui gave me a personal grand tour: There was a lounge – soft-looking couches and coffee tables scattered across a spacious room with a large window that gave us a wondrous view. A cafeteria – with wood benches lined about the room, eerie pictures on the cream-colored stone walls, and on the far end of the room was a window for ordering your food. Behind that window were chefs cooking nonstop. On the third floor of the castle was the training area. The entire third floor of the Black Order was a training ground: Dummies, wood blocks, weights, space to run, pull-up bars, pads to do sit ups and push-ups, big bouncy balls for even more aerobics, and even some weapons for sparring! It was all just so cool; I knew I'd like it here.

On the floor up, Komui showed me the library. I marveled at the sight of so many books I could read. With so many books, the people here must be very educated, I thought. And with so many educated people, someone could teach me how to write! Growing up, I learned to read, but never wrote. I shrugged to myself secretly. I'd learn soon enough. There were so many hallways in this place, it was hard to think that I could ever remember my way around.

Along every hallway, there were doors and corridors. Though Komui showed me where the corridors led, I didn't get to see what was inside the doors. Komui and I walked side-by-side, passing by people. Everyone was either wearing a lab coat, a tan uniform, or a black and white one. The ones in black and white glanced at me and whispered. Their uniforms had the same badge as Suman did. Currently, Komui was telling me how sorry he was for forgetting to show me the infirmary on the first floor and that we'd see it later.

"Komui," I said.

He stopped in his babble. Boy, this Chinese man could talk. "Hm? Yes, Karena?"

I gestured around to the doors around. "What are all these rooms?" I asked curiously.

Komui smiled. "Bedrooms – for the Finders. The Exorcist's bedrooms are the floor up."

I blinked, confused. "Wait, what are Finders?"

Just as I asked that, Komui led me into a corridor and into a large room where books lined the walls, papers were scattered across the floor, and men and women did paperwork on tables. A young blond man looked up from his work and noticed Komui, but not me. "Chief, what did I tell you?" he groaned. "There are papers to fill out in your…Oh." So, _now_ he noticed me. A smile curved his lips as he approached us. He was young, still in his early twenties – blue eyes and spiky hair.

"Please excuse me, miss. You must be the new Exorcist, huh?" He gave me a smile.

I nodded, feeling better about how his personality might be like. "Yeah, that's me, I suppose." I held my hand out. "My name is Karena."

He took my hand and shook it. "Reever Wenhamm," he said in return. And then his blue eyes realized what I was wearing – a dusty black shirt that was getting too small for me, ripped jeans, and old tennis shoes. He made a face briefly. "Ah, that's right!" He grinned. "OK, Karena, once the Chief here takes you to Hevlaska, come back here and we'll fix you up with a uniform for you."

I touched my hair without thinking – it was so long and tangled. I'd need more than a uniform to feel better. Komui Lee touched my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry," he said, "we'll get you all cleaned up in no time."

And I smiled back at him because now I had a home.


	5. The Fifth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Komui has led me to an elevator of some sort. I realized the Black Order has a circular structure in the halls, while the rooms are square. Leaving the messy room where Reever was, Komui walked to the halls again where a green-glowing elevator, looking like an upside-down pyramid, floated up to us from the dark depths below. Curious, I approached the railing of the hallway that prevented us from falling over the edge. Seeming fearless to me, Komui actually hopped over the rail and onto the elevator. He offered me his hand. I frowned. "Are you sure that thing is safe?" I asked warily.

"Of course it's safe," he said cheerfully. "Come, I have someone you need to meet."

Though I was reluctant, I stepped up on the railing – gripping the pillar for support – grabbed Komui's hand and jumped on the elevator. It felt so weird standing on this thing – like I was standing on air without my wings. I was afraid that if I stood on just one side of it, it'd tip over, so I hurried to the middle and looked around at all the door lining the hallway. A laugh echoed through the halls as two boys came down the hall. They were both wearing black and white uniforms – different styles, though. I noticed the badge on their chests and knew they were Exorcists.

"Whoa!" the short brunette yelled, leaning over the railing. "Hey, Chief! Who's she?"

Komui turned around to face the boys. The short one looked about my age with spiky brown hair and purple make-up under his eyes. The other looked older than he and had messy blond hair and dark blue eyes, a smile painted on his face. Komui placed a hand on my shoulder. "This is the new Exorcist, Daisya. Her name is Karena and I want you all to make her feel welcome, OK?"

The short boy named Daisya grinned and saluted Komui. "'Course, Chief. Hey, Karena, just stick with us, and you'll fit in just fine!"

I couldn't help but return Daisya's smile. I could almost feel my heart warming. The elevator glided down with ease, taking Komui and I deeper and deeper into the Order. I peeked over the edge, but only saw darkness. Not sure of what was going on, but not questioning it, I stood by as we descended into darkness. I looked around, but found nothing. And then my heart started to thump as I considered this all to be a trap.

A dim glow began to light around us from below. The lower we went, the more I could feel my wings warming on my back, ready to pop out and get me the hell out of there. Long ago, I learned that my wings react to my emotions, and now my wind does, too. Komui took a look back at me and smiled in the dim light. "Don't look so tense," he said cheerfully. "We're here to help you."

I raised an eyebrow, feeling my muscles relax only a little. _"We?"_ I repeated.

Suddenly behind me were a row of five chairs. Sitting in the chair were five cloaked men. I couldn't see their faces, only their lips. "We," said one, "are the Great Generals."

"Anything the Black Order does…" one started.

"They answer to us," another finished.

"Welcome, young one," a different one said.

I gulped and nodded. The way they stood up high on an unseen platform was unnerving. They sat like they were high and mighty, and from the sound of things, they were. Just then, something cold wrapped its arms around me. I inhaled sharply as I was pulled off my feet and into the air. The arms holding me were large, transparent and ghostly. I squirmed and struggled to get free, unafraid of free-falling. The arms turned me around and I came face to face with…God, what do I call it?

It was a giant tentacle snake monster with skinny arms and big lips…but no eyes! I restrained a scream. Instead, I flailed and kicked around frantically. "K-Komui! Komui, help!" I called to him. The tentacles of the monster were around me, making it impossible for me to open my wings. But Komui stood on the elevator below me, giving me a smile like nothing was going on. "Komui!" I shouted again.

"Do not fear me, child…" the tentacle monster said, her soft voice echoing off the nothing of the room. "I am here to check your Innocence…to be sure that you are an Exorcist…"

"It would be best not to struggle, Karena. Hevlaska is here to help; she's our comrade," Komui said. I furrowed my brow. How could he say that? This thing was good? Of all the monsters I'd encountered, I learned not to trust things that didn't look human. Hevlaska waited until I stop moving around so much and neared my face with hers.

I made a face as we connected foreheads. A bright light began to glow at our adjoined temples and I closed my eyes tightly. Her tentacles sent chills through me. It felt as if there were a punch of parasites under my skin, crawling around until they found my heart. Hevlaska began to count: "0%…5%…24%…47%…60%…75%…" And then, just like that, I was set down by Komui. I stumbled, backing away from Hevlaska until Komui held my shoulders gently, relaxingly.

"Your synchro-rate is only 75%," Hevlaska reported.

I tilted my head. "What is a synchro-rate?" I asked. "I-I'm so lost." I looked back at Komui. "I don't know what Exorcists or Apostles are or anything!"

That's when the Great Generals spoke up. They each took turns talking and what they told me took a bit to take in, but I got it. So, apparently, over a hundred years ago – that's a century, right? – these people found this magical golden cube. The cube had a prophecy about…the end of the world or something like that. The cube was shattered into pieces and scattered across the globe when Noah's Flood took place. This shattered cube is called Innocence – which is what gives us God-like power in different ways. We were given Innocence on this Earth because of an evil man they call The Millennium Earl. He's the one who creates the Akuma – the ones I've been fighting.

Akuma aren't really demons, turns out. They're machines created from the loss and sorrow of one person and- Oh, it's hard to explain! Point is: Earl makes Akuma. Akuma = bad. Innocence is the only thing that can kill Akuma. Innocence belongs to people like me – Exorcists, who can either be Parasitic-type (with Innocence inside you) or Equipment-type (meaning they own an item that contains the Innocence). It's our job as Exorcists to kill the Akuma and stop the Millennium Earl's reign of terror, or else he'll destroy the whole world.

If _you_ think that was hard to take in, imagine how _I_ felt!

It was time to leave Hevlaska and the mysterious Great Generals behind. Komui pressed a button and up went the elevator, taking us out of the dim light, into darkness, then into light again. I felt dizzy, nauseous. Immediately I was tired; I wanted nothing more than to get to a bed, lie there and stay there for the rest of the year. Komui caught me leaning on the railing of the elevator, hair falling over my shoulders, my eyes daring to flutter close. He placed his hand on my back and gave me a generous smile. I returned it half-heartedly.

He patted my shoulder. "Now, now, no falling asleep just yet." The elevator stopped and the Asian man hopped out, offering me his hand. "We still need to get you tidied up, you know."

I'd almost forgotten about getting cleaned up, and not long later, I was soaking in a hot spring. The Order oddly didn't have baths; they had their own bathhouse. I'm not complaining, though. It was heavenly. Komui's little sister, Lenalee, led me there. She was thirteen and, oh, so adorable! We talked all the way to the bathhouse. I found out she'd been in the Order for years before now, that her parents were killed by Akuma when she was little, and that she can't remember much of her life before the Order.

She stood behind the screen door, her back on me, as I undressed. When she questioned me about my past, I didn't know how to answer her. I slipped myself under the warm, warm water and remained silent. "Karena…?" She could tell that I was upset. I lowered my head underwater and shook my head about, thinking of how cool it looks to sway under water. My red strands looked pretty just floating to the top.

When I came up for air, I slicked my hair back and frowned a bit at the dirt that was washing out into the water. Lenalee had walked in, and now she was standing by my shampoo. Her purple eyes were filled with curiosity and concern. With a sigh, I folded my arms across my chest, hiding my breasts from her, even if the water did that already. "May I…know…?" she inquired softly.

I closed my eyes. "My father tried to kill me."

Later, I had my own room. Lenalee left me in the new room to dry off and brush out my hair while she went to find some new clothes that would fit me. A white towel was wrapped around my whole torso. In my new room, I already had a twin-sized bed (to my right), a white wooden dresser (left), and a regal-looking desk with a big mirror beside the tall window (across). The window already had long curtains, so I could get sit in my room in nothing but a towel in peace. I sat walked about the room, looking for anything more than the little furniture I had. The drawers came up empty, but on the desk was a new hair brush, a tooth brush and toothpaste. I sat down on the chair in front of the mirror and stared hard at myself. Now that the dirt was gone, I could see me.

My hair was darker with the dampness. It reached my butt, draping on the cushion of the seat. I frowned a bit and began brushing. As I did so, I began to think. After five years of searching for my uncle, I wound up here – at the Black Order for Exorcists. If I'd be going around the world in search of Innocence, maybe I'd find him. It was possible, right? And, hey, even if I didn't find him, I would actually have a home to come back to.

Wait…

Home?

Am I really so willing to call this place my home so soon? I looked down, feeling tears well in my eyes. I hadn't had a home in five years, not since Dad…died. I hadn't had friends, or anyone to talk to or share my feelings with or hold me as I cried myself to sleep. I had no one to love. But here I am, perfectly fine with things – how they were falling into place. I had made friends here already, and…maybe soon, they would become like a family to me.

Nothing but hopeful thinking?

Just maybe.


	6. The Sixth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

They waited outside the door.

Johnny Gill – a short guy with brown, frizzy hair and goofy glasses; a scientist – was the most excited of them all. Lenalee giggled as Johnny paced back and forth. A larger man with dark skin, wearing a beanie – Tapp Dopp – patted Johnny's back. "Calm yourself, will ya?" he said. "The girl will be out in a second."

But Johnny just couldn't contain himself. "Noooo!" he exploded. "I mean, honestly – how long does it take to put on a uniform? Jeez!"

Just as he said that, I walked out smiling. "I wonder if you have any patience in all four feet of you," I said teasingly. Johnny and Tapp gaped at my new uniform while Reever and Lenalee smiled cheerfully and clapped. They all were pleased with how it fit so perfectly. My Exorcist uniform was awesome! It was black and white like every other Exorcist, but mine was styled like what Johnny called a qipao. It had buttons, loose sleeves, and a hood. The "Rose Cross" was pinned on my chest, over my heart.

Under the qipao uniform, I wore a white tank-top. Tight black Capris stopped at my shin and brown boots came up to my knee. But what made this all so great was getting my hair cut. It was thick, cut perfectly to my shoulders, and my hair fell over my forehead. For once in my life, I felt clean and perfect.

Johnny jumped to me and clasped my hands. "You-you look so nice, Karen-ah!" Reever pulled him away from me by the ear before he could creep me out more.

"Give her some space, Johnny! Damn…" Reever said, exasperated.

Lenalee came up with an idea: "Karena, you're a Parasitic Exorcist, aren't you? Can you show us your Innocence and see if your clothes don't rip?"

Hey, it was a good idea. I was thinking about that, but put it to the back of my mind. I shrugged, thinking What the hey? Johnny went on to us about how my Innocence should not damage my coat, that he specially designed it. Apparently all the Exorcists uniforms were like that. I exhaled deeply, having them step back. And so, in all its sparkling wonder, my wings unfolded from my back.

The four of them gaped in wonder. Then, after regaining themselves, they began to compliment me on how beautiful my wings were. I smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of my head nervously, thanking them for their words. Just then, from the corner of my eye, I saw a boy walk in the doors. He had dark, silky, long-ish hair draping down his shoulders, wearing an Exorcist uniform. I blinked, noticing him for the first time, and tilted my head. The second he noticed me, he scowled and walked faster.

Rude ass…

Lenalee obviously noticed my frown and patted my shoulder. "Don't worry about him," she said cheerfully. "That's Kanda. He's naturally grumpy."

I closed in my wings close, watching as this Kanda boy strode off down the hall. I would try to get to him somehow.

**| – – – – | **

And get to know him, I did. The same day, I saw him eating alone. I was sitting with Sol Galen – a pretty, blond Exorcist girl – eating piles and piles of food, while she ate so little. When Kanda walked into the room, he got a small box of food and sat secluded, aloof. Sol was commenting me about how amazing it was that someone as thin as me could eat so much, babbling on about how it makes sense because Parasitic type Exorcists have to feed both themselves and their Innocence. My eyes locked on Kanda's actions – his peace as he ate.

"Hey…Karena, you listening?" Sol waved her hand in front of my face.

I blinked twice, regaining myself, and looked at her now. "Huh? What?"

Her brown eyes sparkled when she realized I was watching Kanda of all people. "Ya know, at first, I thought you were watching Daisya over there stick chopsticks up his nose, but…Kanda Yu? Really?"

I raised my eyebrow, shifting my eyes to Kanda. "His last name is Yu?"

Sol laughed. "Nah, his first name is Yu, but shh, he hates it when people call him by his first name – you might end up with a sword to your throat!" I frowned in thought. Sol continued with a grin: "He's, like, a year younger than you, stop staring!" She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and averted my eyes to all the other Exorcists. I wish I could tell you there was as many girl Exorcists as there were guys.

Exorcist boy count: Daisya Barry, Yu Kanda, Noise Marie, Suman Dark, Kazana Reed, Chakar Labón, Ashton Knight.

Exorcist girl count: me, Lenalee Lee, Sol Galen, Gwen Fraer, Tina Spark.

Seven male Exorcists, five female Exorcists. There are these other Exorcists, too, but of higher standing. They're called Generals, whose synchro-rate has either reached or exceeded 100%. Needless to say, these badass people are strong. I haven't met any of them yet, but Sol told me about them before. There are four males – Cross Marian, Froi Tiedoll, Winters Sokalo, and Kevin Yeegar. Only one female; her name is Cloud Nyne.

So, really, eleven guys, six girls. Crazy, right?

"See that guy over there?" She nodded to Ashton, who was munching on a sandwich. I confirmed. "He's the hottest of the lot here, in case you haven't noticed." I didn't notice 'cause he always wears a hood. "_And_ he's on your team. If I were you, lucky girl, I'd be ogling over him."

I gave her a look. "You seriously think I was ogling a fourteen-year-old?" I deadpanned. Sol just laughed. I picked up a hamburger. "You said something about me being on his team, what does that mean?" I asked.

"Oh, right!" she said. "Well, remember how I told you about the Generals? Well, each Exorcist is put under the care of a General – Tina, Gwen, and I are on Cloud's team. Your General will serve as your mentor and master; they'll train you to use your Innocence and fight Akuma, and you'll travel all sorts of places, helping them find Innocence. I wish you were on my team, but we already know that you're under General Yeegar. You'll stay here a while, but the General is already on his way."

I frowned at this. No one ever told me I'd have to leave the Order so soon.

...

It was later on in the day when I decided to train some. Sol had left me to go talk to Ashton, so I quickly finished up my food and took a walk around, praying I wouldn't get lost. I passed by Noise Marie and I smiled. "Hey, Noise," I said cheerfully.

The blind man gave me a smile. "Hello, Karena. How are you today?"

I told him I was fine. Noise Marie had to be one Exorcist I really respected off the bat. He was a twenty-three-year-old man with dark skin. His eyes were always close because he was blind. He had to rely on his other senses to guide him. Still, he fought just as hard as everyone else, I heard, and for that, I admired him. I started to ask him if I was going the right way to the training room, but thought against it. We said our goodbyes and I continued my way to the third floor. As I neared the end of the steps, I heard sounds – grunting, clanking, scuffing. I took a peek around the corner, and there was Kanda.

He was practicing his martial arts against a large wood block. He didn't have a shirt on. On his chest I saw a strange tattoo. Wasn't he a little young for tattoos? The block of wood had blood on it, though if it was his blood or someone else's, I wasn't sure. But when Kanda noticed me there, he stopped immediately and gave me a vicious glare.

"What the hell are _you_ staring at, girl?" he growled.

I jumped a bit, startled at his tone. "Nothing," I said. Well, actually I mumbled it, but I didn't mean to! I stepped into the room, trying not to stare at him as he worked all while glaring at me. It felt awkward to train in front of someone, and that's why I was just wandering around the place for something to work on first. After about three minutes of doing nothing but flicking my gaze over to Kanda, he finally snapped.

"What?" he barked.

"Excuse me…?"

"You've been doing nothing this whole time. Either train or get out, you stupid girl."

I glowered at him. How dare he? "Look, I feel uncomfortable training in front of someone." Kanda walked across the room to where the weapons were. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, but I don't know what to do." From a large vase sitting in the corner, Kanda grabbed two long shafts. He tossed one of them to me and I barely caught it. I blinked down at it, and before I could ask what it was for, he came at me! The stick smacked against mine with brute force.

"Hey!" I exclaimed as I was forced to protect myself from Kanda's attacks. Soon, he nicked my side – _hard._ While I was distracted with the pain, the shorter boy used that opportunity to make an uppercut straight under my chin. I let out a high-pitched cry and stumbled back, holding my jaw. Kanda tapped the staff on the floor.

"You left yourself open. If you're ever going to be a good Exorcist, you'll need to practice your fighting skills." As easy as bamboo blowing in the breeze, he shifted into a ready position. "Fight me. And don't hold back."

I'd never fought hand to hand before and I didn't want to hurt the kid, but what choice did I have? He was right. If I wanted to be a strong Exorcist, I had to go beyond wings and wind. And if anyone could teach me, it would have to be Yu Kanda. Dropping the staff to the floor, I unbuttoned my Exorcist coat, tossed it to the side, and grabbed the shaft once more.

Since that day, Kanda had been my mentor in fighting. He taught me the ways of martial arts, how to use a sword, how to meditate, to clear my mind and stay focused, to ignore pain. One day after training, I went to the cafeteria to get a drink of water. That day, Daisya sat beside me and asked how I did it, how I got Kanda to be so calm around me. I'm still wondering.


	7. The Seventh Chapter

**Author's Note: So, I just realized – and I can't believe no one's pointed it out to me or that I've been so stupid not to notice, but – two chapters ago, Karena was 12…According to my, oh, so awesome logic, she's somehow 15 now, since Karena is one year older than Kanda. ^ ^; Damn, this sucks. Please forgive my mistakes! Any complaints, suggestions, questions or comments are appreciated in the Review.**

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino.**

_Thwack!_

"Ow! Hey! What the hell, Yu?"

_Thwack!_

"Will you stop that?"

I rubbed my head. Definitely going to get a lump there. I'd asked Kanda for a time out from our training, so he smacked me with a staff! The second time was because I called him Yu when I promised not to. He folded his arms across his chest. "No breaks until we're done," he said. "You think in battle that Akuma will give you a time out? Get real!"

Jeez, you'd think _he _was the older one. It's been weeks since Kanda started training me. Daisya was bullshitting me when he said Kanda was so calm around me. This boy was still the grumpy, I-hate-my-life-including-you kid he was when I first met him. The only difference is now he had permission to hit me. I plopped down on my butt on the hard floor. "I'm tired, Kanda," I whined. "Training everyday and still going on missions really takes a lot out of me."

He groaned, rolling his eyes. "You'll have to fight a lot harder than this, for hours sometimes, on the battlefield," he pointed out. "Your missions thus far have been nothing."

I tangled my fingers in my bangs, sighing deeply. Still, I remained where I sat. Kanda tapped the staff on the floor. "Come on…Get up…!"

Well, I didn't have to get up to sweep his feet from under him, did I? He quickly fell to the floor with a hard thud. Immediately, I shot up and pressed the staff to his chin. "Are we done yet?" I asked.

The boy shot me a glare and I smirked. I took the shaft away and offered him my hand. Just then, there was clapping. Kanda and I looked over to the door and saw Ashton Knight standing by an old man. His uniform was black and gold, but the gold badge on his chest told me he was an Exorcist. And not just any Exorcist either…

"General…" Kanda trailed off, standing on his feet.

The man smiled from under his thin mustache. "That was well-played, miss," he commented. Kanda and I exchanged glances – I looked confused and he looked, of course, pissed.

Inside Komui's messy office, I was seated on the purple couch, dressed in my uniform once more. Lenalee walked in, carrying a tray of cups for us. Komui had an odd blue mug with a pink bunny on it. The young girl bowed as she handed the General his cup, and he thanked her. I took my mug gratefully, but I didn't drink coffee – I preferred hot cocoa. All the Exorcists had their own mug – white with their initials painted on. Mine just had a K on it. Still no trace of my uncle just yet. I got my cup after my first mission, when they threw me a surprise party.

Lenalee gave me a look like I was being rude for sitting down instead of the General, but – hey! – I offered. He said no, so here I sat. With a sigh, obviously not understanding the look I gave her, Lenalee took her leave. The hot mug burned my knuckles and I winced a bit.

Komui laced his fingers together, resting his elbows on his desk. "We're so glad you made it, General," he said with a smile.

Kevin Yeegar nodded. "It's nice to be back. Please excuse me for leaving so soon _and_ taking two of your Exorcists." He gave a small bow.

Komui held up a hand. "No, no; Karena needs to get out and learn about her Innocence, and Ashton has just been dying to go traveling again." A smile touched his lips. "We'll miss you, Karena, but you'll be back some day."

I didn't like the sound of that, really…

However, after packing my bags, I still met up with Ashton by the underground water passage. Again, how a castle on a cliff has an underground passage, I have no idea. Ashton grinned at me, his eyes shadowed by his hood. "Excited?" he asked.

I shifted. "Eh…Sure. Though, I'd really rather stay here in the Order."

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "Don't worry, kid," he said. "On the road with the General, you'll learn how to control that Innocence of yours – learn to fight better than that Kanda kid could've taught you."

A frown pulled at my lips; I liked training with Kanda. Soon, General Yeegar came and looked at the both of us. "Are you ready to go?" he asked. Ashton nodded while I shrugged. The three of us, accompanied by a Finder named Tierri, went down the stairs to the boat. Ashton helped me in first – "Ladies first," he said. After him came General Yeegar, and then the Finder pushed us off. I looked back at the platform, wondering if Sol or Lenalee or Daisya or…even Kanda would come to say goodbye to me.

Just when I thought no one would, Lenalee hurried down the steps. "Karena!" she called. I, so stupidly, stood up in the boat, holding on to Ashton's shoulders so I didn't fall. Lenalee waved. In the dim torchlight, I could have sworn there were tears in her eyes. "Goodbye…! Stay in contact with me, OK?"

I grit my teeth, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes. "I will!" I promised. Lenalee got farther and farther away as we rowed on. I stood there until she was completely out of sight. Then, I slumped down in my seat and hugged my knees. Behind me, Ashton patted my shoulder comfortingly.

**| – – – – |**

Honestly, my time with General Yeegar and Ashton Knight wasn't bad. I actually got to see what was under Ashton's hood – a hot guy! He opened up to me and soon became like a big brother in no time. Ya know, like, a big brother that's hot and you wouldn't mind going out with. His Innocence was a powerful bow and arrow. The arrows glowed a bright green color when activated: It was the power of Innocence.

We sat on a hill one day. The sun was bright, the clouds were high, the horses fed on grass, and Master Yeegar cooked inside the carriage. (The black carriage with a big, gold Rose Cross on each door had a stove inside, and Master was just the best cook ever!) On the hill, I hugged my knees, staring out at the lake. Ashton lie beside me, chewing on a honeysuckle stem, watching the clouds with his hands behind his head.

"So, Karena," he started, "it's been some weeks since we started travelling with Master. You know about my Innocence, but…I wanna see yours. Back at the Order, they said you had wings?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Oh, yeah, well…I'll show you my wings if…."

"If what?"

"If you teach me how to use a bow and arrow!"

Ashton blinked. "Seriously?" he asked.

I nodded excitedly, facing him. "Yeah! Teach me, please?"

The older boy sighed and stood. "OK. Fine." I jumped up into the air and squealed. I was finally going to learn! In those three seconds of air time, I opened my wings abruptly. Ashton jumped a bit and staggered back, his eyes wide, dropping the honeysuckle from his lips. With a grin slapped on my face, I floated in the air, flapping my wings slightly to keep my feet off the ground.

Ashton started laughing, tangling his gloved fingers in his blond locks. "Dang…" he said.

I placed my hands on my hips. "Is that all you have to say, Ash?" With one simple gesture, I laid on the air on my stomach, resting my elbows on nothing and cupping my chin in my hands. My feet kicked against my butt.

The boy who was like an older brother to me now scratched his scalp. "That's pretty impressive, Karena, I'll give you that." His smile was stunning. "Can I feel?" Of course he could! I swung my legs to put me in a standing position and whirled myself around to face away from him, placing my feet on the ground. Ashton's gentle hands touched my white feathers, stroking them like I was a delicate dove. How silly; me – a dove.

"These things are amazing," he commented.

Just as I was about to show him how they looked completely spread out, Master stepped out of the carriage. He smiled softly when he saw me and Ashton. "Bonding this fine morning, are we, kids?" he asked, walking over to us.

Ashton wrapped his arm around my neck and grinned. I quickly removed my wings, the green sparkles drifting into the soil. "Sure are!" Ashton said. "Karena here's got some talent with those wings of hers."

"Her wings do resemble ones of a swan," Master said. I flushed. Then he changed the subject with his hands behind his back: "Karena, Ashton, how would you like your own stallions?"

My eyes sparkled in delight. "What? Our own horses? Really?" Master nodded. Ashton and I high-fived. Master smiled broadly. "Then let us be off. Come now; the steak is ready."

Without any further hesitation, Ashton and I sprinted into the black carriage where the scent of fresh steak filled our noses.

**| – – – – |**

"Stay here, you two," said Yeegar, "I'll go get the horses in town."

"Aw, do we have to?" I whined, poking my head out the window. Yeegar nodded and walked down the hill into the old town. Ashton was leaning back in the seat with his hood over his eyes to block out the light. With a sigh, I rested my chin on my hands. "This sucks," I muttered.

"What're you complaining about now, Karena?" he asked, peeking out of one eye to look at me.

"I wanna go pick out my own horse! I wanna go explore the town, see what's out there." I pursed my lips. "I'm getting tired of staying in one place."

Ashton yawned. "Since you're so antsy to get going, then go. If Yeegar comes back before you're done exploring, I'll cover for you."

A grin spread across my face. "You mean it, Ash?" I asked, practically jumping on the seat.

He nodded. "Sure, sure – go ahead. Have your fun."

Somehow, I could tell that he just wanted peace and quiet. Master was gone, Tierri doesn't bother us, and with me gone, he'd have all the solitude he needed. Still, I wasn't objecting. I hopped out of the carriage and shut the door. As I hurried over to the edge of the hill, Tierri called to me, "Uh, hey! Karena, where are you going?"

I smiled back at him. "Don't worry, Tierri. I'm just gonna go exploring, 'kay?" Then, I spread my wings and took off to the sky. It felt so nice to dance with the wind again. I spread my arms and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being weightless. There were no limits for me anymore. For the first time in a long while, I felt free.

Literally, free.

No search for my uncle to gnaw at me, no duties to the Black Order to fulfill, and no worries about when my last day will be. Speaking of the things weighing me down…what is it that I'm forgetting? I know it's been years since I've thought of it, but….The smell of smoke reminded me of what that thought was.

I was still technically searching for that person who brought me to the hospital all those years ago. Not putting effort into it at all, but still! Below me was a mine site.

"_Won't this be a story to tell the guys back at the mine!" _I faintly remember a man saying. A feeling in my gut told me to see if they were here, no matter how silly that sounded. But this gut feeling would get me into more trouble than I knew. Because at that mine was a face too vaguely familiar for me to know what I was getting into.


	8. The Eighth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

I landed gently on the dirt of the site. Oddly, though, no one seemed to notice the girl that just dropped down from the sky. My brown eyes scanned the area for someone who looked familiar. After three years since that day, it was silly for me to think that I might recognize the two men whom I gave that baby to after its mother died by that Akuma. You would be surprised how much people grow in such short time. As I began wandering around the mine site, I did some math in my head. I was twelve when I saved that baby, who couldn't have been older than two, and I'm fifteen now…

"You…!"

With a start, I spun around on my heel to see…a child. He looked five with messy blond hair and tired blue eyes. Over his mouth and nose, he wore a mask. This child had asthma? "Um, yes?" I asked, blinking.

"You just had wings and you came down from tha sky…" he trailed off. He was so adorable!

I smiled and kneeled in front of him. "Don't I know you from somewhere…?"

Before he could reply, two men approached us. "If it isn't the Angel Exorcist," commented the brunette with a scar on his forehead.

I stood, recognizing them. "You two…!" I said. They were the men from all those years ago! Which meant this child was…

The bald one placed his hands on the child's shoulders. "This is Eaze – that toddler you saved three years ago. You probably don't remember us well, but I'm Momo and this is Clack."

I grinned, folding my hands behind my head. "Of course I remember you guys – you two were the first to call me the Angel Exorcist back when I was twelve." My eyes went down to the adorable little boy, smiling at me from under his mask. "Your name is Eaze, huh? _You_ probably don't remember _me._ I saved you when you were just a tiny little thing. Have Clack and Momo been taking good care of you?" Eaze nodded, and then hugged my legs. I was a bit taken back, but soon regained myself and ruffled his dirty hair.

Clack, Momo, and I got acquainted. All these years, they've been bouncing around from mine to mine across the country, trying to survive as best as they can. When they asked what I'd been up to, I proudly informed them that I became an Exorcist, showing them my badge and flaunting in my uniform. Clack whistled and Momo studied the qipao. Eaze smiled and said, "You're pretty." I chortled and blushed a bit.

Suddenly, an approaching voice broke through our laughter: "Hey now, guys, what are you doing over here flirting?" We all turned to see a man approaching us. Goosebumps rose on my arms and I didn't know why. He had grimy, wavy hair, light skin, goofy glasses. The voice…was vague to me. He was like a distant dream. Passed the thick glasses, I couldn't see where his eyes were wandering. "And might you be, miss?" he asked, something husky in his voice.

It took me a few seconds as I was staring at him to realize he asked me a question. "Ah, I'm Karena. Clack, Momo, Eaze, and I go way back. Please, forgive me if I'm interrupting." I gave them a sheepish smile, despite my suspiciousness.

Momo groaned. "We're sorry, too, Karena. The boss'll really have our asses for stopping our work. Hope to see you again, okay?"

I managed a smile – and a lie: "Yeah, maybe I'll see you some other time." I knelt down and gave Eaze a hug goodbye. He didn't smell like the best five-year-old, but he was homeless, a traveler with three older men. My heart stung for the boy. Before standing, I kissed his forehead and he smiled big under that mask of his. Eaze took Clack and Momo's hands and they led him away to do whatever miners do. I smiled sadly and turned to walk out of the site. But just as I was about to walk out, a voice stopped me in the doorway:

"You're welcome, by the way."

The smooth voice was right behind me. His breath was hot on the back of my neck. I couldn't dare turn to face him; I knew it was that messy haired man with Clack and Momo. "Welcome…? Where exactly?"

His hand moved my hair from my shoulder. "Not where – what. All those years ago, you never thanked me for taking you to the hospital in your time of need."

My breath caught in my throat. I spun around to face him. Just as I did, though, his strong hands grabbed my arms and pinned me against the wall. He didn't wear his glasses anymore. And my eyes widened with realization of who I was dealing with. Dark, alluring eyes, the little mole still in place under his left eye, light skin only a tint darker from being in the sun. But even after three years, this man was unmistakable. "Tyki…" I trailed off, beginning to tremble in my boots.

Never did I hope to see him again. After what he did to Avelina and all those party-goers when I was ten, I had had enough of the man I thought so admirable. Now, being face-to-face with the demon, I could do nothing. Though some part of me wondered what had happened to his old self, his clean self that wore a suit and attended nice parties. To be poverty-stricken like this, hanging out with hobos and working as a miner, it was no wonder I didn't recognize him.

"What do you want with me?" I asked bravely.

Tyki smirked a bit, moving his hand down my arm. "How have you been, Karena? Gotten all gussied up as an Exorcist, have we?"

Quickly, I slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me, you monster," I growled viciously. Would he kill me now in front of all these people? Tyki studied my body, let out a "Hn," and backed away.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a job to do. But, remember, dear Karena, you're in debt to me now that you know I saved you back then," he paused, turning and walking away, "when I could have easily ended your life."


	9. The Ninth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

…_Two Years Later…_

No one ever told me not to get attached to people, not to be sensitive. I stayed on the road, travelling with my master, General Yeegar, my best friend, Ashton Knight, a Finder, and Ashton's horse, Moon. (When Master went to get the horses, only Ashton could have one.) Four people, one carriage, plenty of missions fighting demons called Akuma. Ashton and I were inseparable in the two years I spent with them, and Master became like a father to me – a father better than the man who tried to kill me when I was young. So when the day came that I lost Ashton, I was completely torn.

On the road, somewhere close to England, we got a call about a horde of Akuma. There were too many to count, they said, and they needed Exorcists immediately. Ashton hopped up on Moon, I broke out my wings, and we both booked it to the scene. My wings were obviously going to get me there faster than Moon could run. "Go ahead!" Ashton shouted over to me, "I'll catch up with you."

So, with a nod, I kicked it into high gear and sped through the air. The wind slapped my face; I had to squint against the air burning my eyes. How many Akuma there were, I had no idea. No matter, I had to be prepared. Though, a fearful part of me hoped that I wouldn't have to go too long along without Ashton by my side. From a distance, you could see explosions. I wondered if any Exorcists were already there to stop them.

When I got there, I saw that the Order wasn't kidding when they said that there were a _lot_ of Akuma. They were all too distracted to see me coming, so it was easy to grow my wings out to an even larger appearance and destroy them with a force of wind. By now, most of the Akuma noticed that there was an Exorcist present and began attacking me. I did every aerial attack I knew; threw wind, kicked wind, shot wind. Behind me, an Akuma loaded its gun without me knowing. When I saw the pink glowing light behind me, I spun around…

To see Lenalee's boots pierce through the demon. She floated in the air as I stared at her incredulously. "Hey, are you all right?" she asked. I nodded numbly, but soon shook away the feeling and faced the Akuma with Lenalee by my side. Inside, I felt confident. I wanted to cry because I'd seen her again, but now was not the time for crying. Soon after we began fighting together, arrows shot through the sky at our opponents. Bringing my eyes to the ground was Ashton on Moon, shooting so expertly.

With a grin, my fighting became even more advanced. The twisters of wind I shot took out five Akuma at a time rather than one. Lenalee beside me danced in the sky like a butterfly. Occasionally my eyes went to my two comrades. Ashton was a regular Robin Hood; Lenalee was beautiful in the moonlight. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Tina, Sol, and Gwen showed up. Gwen, wielding her whip, became like an acrobat on the battlefield. Looking over at Sol, I saw her sonic screams were doing some excellent critical damage.

Tina had a shotgun on her and she went ballistic! To see my old friends again like this, it should have been the best day ever. Despite being injured by some Akuma attacks and growing exhausted, things were working out in our favor.

But suddenly, things _weren't_ working out in our favor. In an instant, the battle was taken to a whole new level; Level Twos joined the battle and it wasn't the same. Lenalee was punched square in the jaw and she flew down to the ground. "Lenalee!" I exclaimed.

The girls were shot at, but Tina kept the Level Twos at bay for the most part. There were close calls, though: buildings exploded and almost crushed us, some Akuma missed the girls and the ground exploded under them. I couldn't keep up with it all. I threw my hardest wind at the Akuma, but only killed a few. And then…when I heard Ashton scream, I…

Ashton fell to the floor, off of Moon, clutching his chest. In an instant, I swooped down by his side, cradling him in my arms. His death was coming too quickly; there were too many things I needed to say to him. Ashton, no! Please don't die! But black pentacles overtook him, he gave me a weak smile, and just like that, Ashton Knight was gone, turned to dust in my arms. Tears flowed from my eyes. I shook uncontrollably. From a distance, I heard Gwen shout something.

Beside me, Moon paced around, unsure of what to do, frightened. From the corner of my eye, rainbows lit up the sky. No, not rainbows (silly distressed me): The Finders were there to help out. Plenty of Finders. There were more Finders than I could count with their Akuma-capturing devices. At first I thought they would help us out more, but as soon as they began falling, dying all around, I knew we were better off without them. Tina, Sol, and Gwen's attacks were weakening.

Slowly, I grabbed Ashton's Innocence – his bow and arrows. Solemnly, I stood, feeling his remnants slip off my lap like his fleeting spirit. Severely, I shot up to the sky, spread my wings, and prepared myself for my biggest attack yet. As I powered up, my wings began to glow green. The light glowed brighter than the moon. Suddenly, nothing was safe from the lashing wind – the cutting wind, the splitting tornado that destroyed every Akuma it touched. On the ground, the sandy remains of Finders and Ashton remained still. Sol was cradling the unconscious Lenalee in her arms as Tina and Gwen watched in amazement.

The wind only affected the Akuma…and me. My back and muscles ached; this attack did some hard damage on my body. Some of the wind even got out of my control and cut my skin. My eyes were shut tight, against the power of storm, against the sting of cuts. I was crying. Ashton was dead…my best friend! The man I'd grown used to for all these years, he…he…!

Forcing one eye open, I realized there was no need to trap this town in a whirlwind any longer: All the Akuma were gone. All but one, who stood in the distance, who shot me right in the back, sending me plummeting to the ground. Pain shot through me all over. I felt my wings give in, leaving me to drop like a rock. The moon seemed bigger now, the stars brighter. Pentacles appeared on my skin. My feathers caught on the wind, floating down like I wish I had the strength to.

Contact between my body and pavement did it for me – that was my limit. Before it all went black, Tina took care of the last Akuma. Gwen ran over to me, but she was…so blurry and…

Lights out.


	10. The Tenth Chapter

**Author's Note:: …Of course I'm awesome, why do you ask? No, I'm kidding. I just reread chapter two. Well, in chapter seven, I apologized because Karena "magically" turned fifteen. She did not. In chapter two, I realized that she was twelve and then a time skip revealed she was fifteen. …Carry on!**

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

_I'm a kid again. A gun is pointed to my head. My eyes widen, tears brimming the edges. And just as the perpetrator shoots, a light succumbs my mind and I see Ashton. The room is dark, pitch-black. It's only me and Ashton. No, wait…There's Daisya, Kanda, Lenalee, Sol, all of my Exorcist friends. They smile at me. _

_Ashton – he's alive again. I'm so happy! But then…Lenalee collapses, bloody, dead. And then Kanda falls, too. All around me, my friends are dying. Ashton is the last to fall. He tells me he loves me, and then turns to dust in my arms. _

"_Karena," says a voice behind me. I stand slowly, spin around, and…_

_Run right into the arms of Tyki Mikk. He holds me, strokes my hair. I'm a teenager again, my regular self. Tyki smells sweet, wearing cologne. He kisses my head. "You're forever in my debt now…You belong to me…"_

I woke up with a start. The first thing I saw was a monitor by my side. An infirmary. Not just any infirmary either. I was back at the Order! Immediately, I shot up from the bed. Yes, it was the same infirmary at the Black Order. I was home.

Pain shot through my body, mostly my back. I ached all over. Collapsing back down on the bed and going back to sleep sounded like the best thing in the world. But I was awake, and didn't want to go back to the darkness of my nightmares. Just then, it all came back to me. Ashton is dead. Ashton is…

I exhaled shakily, tangling my fingers in my hair, bringing up my knees close and I cried. My head hurt – bad. The pain in my heart wouldn't go away, like a hand was squeezing it. It was only when I became silent did I hear faint tumult somewhere off. When I turned to the door, my eyes caught sight of the bow and arrows on the desk beside me. Even though I fell from the sky, I still was able to protect Ashton's arrows. That made a little of the pain in my heart go away, but not all.

Carefully, I removed the IV from my arm. I barely noticed what I was wearing – my tank-top and Capris. Bandages were wrapped around my head; the pain was from stitches on my head. I must have hit my head hard. Where I had cuts from my own attack, those were bandaged up, too. I sighed deeply and put on my boots, which were by the door. My coat hung on the chair, but I didn't need that just yet.

Hurrying out of the infirmary, I rushed for the commotion. What I found, I despised. The Order's chapel was filled with coffins. People all around were crying, injured. I found Lenalee by a white coffin – different from the others. The Head Nurse was by her side, trying to get her back to the infirmary because she was badly hurt. Tears streamed down Lenalee's cheeks; she refused to go. I felt a pang in my heart for her.

As I made my way through the crowd of people, I pushed forward to her. "Lenalee!" I called out to her. The young girl looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes so jaded. Prying my eyes from hers, I saw that the white coffin had a large Rose Cross on it and my heart stopped. This was Ashton's coffin – I knew it. Tears stung my eyes and ran down my cheeks. I fell to the floor on my knees, hanging my head low, and cried. Lenalee wrapped her arms around me in an embrace and cried on my shoulder. Head Nurse looked away.

How would I go on now with it just me and Master? We needed Ashton to be a team. I couldn't go on without my best friend. Memories of our travels together played in my mind like a film: the nights we'd sleep under the stars together, the times we fought over food Master made, and especially the nights I would have nightmares – those nights, Ashton would hold me close and pet my hair until I fell asleep. And it was _so heavenly_ to be in his arms.

Now who would do that for me? Now who would be like the older brother I never had? _Now_ who would I depend on when I needed help most? Myself? No!

I was shivering, from cold, from crying. I wanted to lose myself in my tears. Never did I want to leave his side. But Komui evacuated everyone away from the coffins in the chapel. And I stood upstairs, with tears grudgingly falling from my eyes, the flames of God's cruelty eating away at someone I loved most. The flickers of the blaze were the only things lighting my eyes. After the cremation was over, everyone departed to the infirmary to get their wounds checked, or maybe to their rooms to cry, maybe even to the cafeteria to eat away the pain. I was the only one who remained. Ashton was gone forever and so was his white coffin, his ashes, but I didn't want to leave.

I wish I could say that I could feel Ashton here – with me. His ghost holds me and comforts me, tells me not to cry. His lingering spirit tells me he loves me. I wish I could say that. But that's a hackneyed scenario that I won't believe because it didn't happen – no matter how much I wish it did.

"Hey!" someone called. I didn't recognize the voice – young, male; thought maybe he was a Finder or a new Exorcist that might have come when I was gone. I didn't look at him, just stood there. "Are you Karena?" He called from the doorway down the hall. I remained silent, my throat sore and tight. The boy sighed loudly. "Look, the Matron is looking for you…" His footsteps echoed in the hallway as he approached me.

After a moment, I shifted my brown eyes to meet green – one green eye, actually. I was faced by a boy around my age: messy red hair, one green eye, another eye hidden by an eye patch, wearing odd clothes. He didn't wear the white uniforms of the Finders nor the black cloaks of the Exorcists. Who was this boy then? I was curious about him, but my eyes obviously looked too dull for him to notice. After giving me a once-over, he exhaled a bit. "Look, your wounds have opened again. That Head Nurse lady says she wants to see you to tend to your wounds, OK?"

I didn't notice the sting of the cuts on my body until he mentioned it. Lost in my thoughts, I guess. With nothing but a simple nod, I stepped around the boy and walked on to the sanatorium. If this boy would be staying with us, would I grow attached to him, too, just to lose him?


	11. The Eleventh Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Everyone knows I'm not one to go to the library. Reading is so boring: Why sit still for so long to read about other people's problems when there are more fun things to do like flying or training or something? However, today was different. I was released from the infirmary yesterday, but I still wanted to be alone. After Ashton's death, I just didn't feel like talking anymore. On my way there, I thought that the library would be the only place I could truly be alone. People were looking for me in my room or the training room; the cafeteria was always full. No one would possibly think of looking for me in the library, right?

I peered around the corner to see if I could spot anyone. Nope, no one. I smiled a smile of relief. Stepping into the extremely quiet room, I barely glanced at the books lining the shelves all around me. I didn't quite care to find out what any of them were about. My fingers twitched on my hips in irritation. Maybe coming to the library was a bad thing. Words just reminded me that, for reasons unexplained, I couldn't write. It's so retarded, I swear!

It isn't right for someone to be able to read and not write. But every time I picked up a pencil and tried to copy the things I saw on the page before me, I couldn't bring my hands to move correctly. It was exhausting and annoying to not be able to do something so simple – pissed me off every time. Dad always supported me, told me to just keep trying, but no matter how hard I tried, these hands just wouldn't produce words.

Agh…Remembering my dad made me even more depressed. Pulling out a chair, I slumped in the seat and slammed my head on the desk. Whimpering, trying not to cry, I gripped at my hair. I hated being an Exorcist – hate, hate, hated it! I tried to tell myself not to think that way – that maybe I didn't hate being an Exorcist, but hated being alive – but I couldn't shake the feeling that every life-changing mishap in my world all came back to the Black Order.

Tears threatened my eyes until a voice came close by. "Um…Hello?"

Startled, I sat upright and looked to the door. In the doorway was that redhead boy from the other day, wearing a black headband, dark green long sleeve shirt, white pants, and brown boots. His one green eye studied me, what I was doing. I knew my eyes must have been shimmering with tears. A frown dare pull his lips before he reluctantly made his way over to me. The boy had long legs, I noticed. As he spoke, I wiped my eyes:

"Ah, I remember you. You're that girl from before." He stopped in front of me and hooked his thumbs in his pockets. "My name is Lavi." Lavi gave me a guilty grin. "Sorry I didn't tell you before."

I couldn't even manage a smile. Pitiful. "Karena," I replied weakly. Lavi scratched the back of his head in thought, then sighed and strolled around the bookshelves. I couldn't help but follow him with my eyes. His one eye studied every book in sight.

"You, uh, come here to read?" he asked. The poor boy's voice sounded like he felt awkward.

I shook my head. "No. I don't read; just came here to – get away from everyone, I guess." No point in lying to the new guy.

Lavi let out a small laugh. "What a coincidence: So did I. That Johnny Gill guy just got done measuring me for my new uniform. Kind of…weird." He grinned like a child.

Still, childish or not, I was intrigued by him. "Are you an Exorcist or…?"

He picked up a thick book and flipped through the pages, eye flickering from page to page. "Yeah," he answered. "I just got here with Gramps – Bookman, that is. We're both" – he paused as if trying to remember something – "Exorcists here now."

My eyebrows raised in interest. How nice for him. Being an Exorcist with his grandfather must be awesome. It's always nice to be with your family, isn't it? Finally, I smiled. "Your grandfather's name is Bookman?" I asked. Heh, silly.

Lavi nodded. "Ah, yeah. Name, title, same thing." Completely confused now, I asked him to explain. He put the book back in its place before replying. "Gramps and I are Bookmen. We record history, basically. As a plus" – he picked up another book – "I get to learn a bunch of cool stuff. Just the paperwork is exhausting."

Paperwork. Crap! Again with the writing! I rolled my eyes, leaning on my hand. "Writing sucks period…" I muttered without thinking. Only Komui, Ashton, and Master knew that I couldn't write. As for everyone else, we never got to that subject in our friendship. And though I prayed he didn't, Lavi heard and turned to me, confused.

"Well, be glad you're just an Exorcist and don't exactly _need_ to know how to read and write."

With a sigh, I shook my shook my head. "No, I know how to read. It's just writing that gives me a hard time." He took a seat beside me with his book. "It's like…I _know_ what I want to write and how to write it, but my hand won't let me do it right!"

Lavi studied me a moment, a frown on his lips. He seemed deep in thought. "Karena," he finally said, "do you have dysphasia?"

I blinked twice at the question. "What's that?" I asked. Carefully, he explained it as a "language impairment." It's caused by strokes or head trauma; makes it difficult or impossible to talk, write, or even read. That got me thinking. The way he explained it sounded like I had this dysphasia thing. But I've never had a stroke before, so…

"Did you have a stroke when you were younger?" he asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No. If I did, I don't remember." I didn't sound too sure. Did I ever have a head injury? Dang, I can't remember that either. Lavi continued to stare at me intensely. He was certainly curious about me. Hey, I wanted to know what was up with me just as much as he did. 


	12. The Twelfth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino…Is it necessary that I keep putting that? :| Didn't think so.**

That about does it with fast-forwarding through the many years of my life. Because after the Black Order was introduced to a boy named Allen Walker, nothing was the same.

After the battle when I was seventeen, I stayed at the Order for a while with Lavi, spending as much time with him, Lenalee, Daisya, and – secretly – Kanda as possible. Yu and I met in the training room often and sparred bitterly. Ashton's death toughened me up, and Kanda said he welcomed the ferocity when we fought. Lenalee and I hung out just about everywhere, catching up and having our girl time. Occasionally Sol, Gwen, and Tina tagged along with us, but they mostly stayed together, so I stuck with Lenalee. The bouncy Daisya and I could be found in the cafeteria or making the most of the missions we were sent on together. However, I always made sure to find the time to be with Lavi in the library. He was getting me into reading books, starting with this author named Shakespeare.

One day, Lavi just handed me a book called _Romeo and Juliet,_ saying it was by William Shakespeare, about two kids that weren't allowed to love each other, but did anyway. I objected at first – telling him I didn't like to read and he knew that – but the redhead boy insisted that I would like it. And though some of the words confused me, I did like it. Well, the overall plot. I thought it was pretty stupid that they would want to get married after knowing each other for, like, a couple hours. And then they slept with each other after – what? – the first day? Jeez, guys, calm down!

Whether I liked the book or not, though, I enjoyed spending time with Lavi. We either stayed quiet the whole time, reading together, or spent it joking with our friends. He was fun. When he first came to the Order, he was stiff. He acted like he was _trying_ to be happy. After a while, he began to act like a normal, cheerful human being.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end sometime. After being in the Order for five long months, it was time to head back out on the road. Before I left, I got an actual goodbye this time. Lenalee and I hugged long and tight, until we couldn't breathe. The fourteen-year-old girl looked like she was going to cry a little, but she smiled and wished me luck with finding Innocence. I told her to tell Kanda to stop being such a grouch and that I'd miss him. Daisya was bawling and acting like a little kid as usual.

"You can't leave me!" he exclaimed, clinging to my body and not letting go for the life of me.

I tried hard to pry him off. "D-_aisya_…! Get – off!" Finally, I got him off and he fell back on his butt. With a deplorable sigh, I placed my hands on my hips. "I don't want to go either, but someone has to accompany Master."

Adorable little Daisya Barry gave me teary puppy eyes. Now _I _wanted to cry! Lavi laughed at the two of us and handed me a book, turned over. Blinking, I turned it to the front cover to see it was _Romeo and Juliet._ I furrowed my brow a bit and looked up at Lavi. He grinned and placed his hands behind his head – a habit he was getting into. "Just a gift to take with ya," he said. I smiled happily and gave him a hug too.

He seemed startled at the hug, tensing up and blinking at me like he never had a hug before. When I pulled away, he gave me a sheepish grin. Just then, Master came and asked me if I was ready to go. I wasn't, but said yes anyway. So, I left with him, Tierri, and two other Finders. Lenalee and Lavi had to hold Daisya back as he bawled and tried to grab my legs. Tierri helped me climb in the boat first, then Master. The last two Finders stepped in and the bulkier one of the two rowed us off.

Marcus was the buff one, dark skin, big lips, wearing goggles. Damon, who sat behind me, had dirty blond hair and a burn across his nose. Damon offered me his hand with a smile. Marcus just smiled and continued rowing. Seeing my new team made me happy and sad at the same time. I was happy about meeting new people, but sad that Ashton couldn't be here. I wanted to take his bow and arrow everywhere with me as a reminder of him, but the Order kept it with Hevlaska so that Akuma wouldn't steal it and destroy it.

The tunnel seemed to go on forever. It was dark here aside from the dim torches lining the walls. I frowned deeply, looking down at my shoes. The pain in my heart told me I would never be over Ashton.

**| – – – – |**

I first met Allen Walker after an encounter with Tyki Mikk.

I sat upon Moon, gripping her reigns, having a stare-down with Tyki. Over the years, he'd gotten admittedly handsome. He wasn't dressed in his hobo-suit as he was when I last saw him at the mine. His skin was as gray as the day I first met him – when he and his brother slaughtered everyone at that party. Today, he wore a nice, black suit and top hat, and a smile that couldn't have been good on my part.

"So, you all done with being a poor, homeless man now?" I asked sarcastically.

But he actually shook his head. "Not just yet."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you want, Mikk?"

The tall man began to approach Moon and I, his gloved hands behind his back. I tugged on Moon's reigns and she backed away. "I'm not here to hurt you," Tyki assured. He was probably full of crap; I didn't take any chances. But suddenly he was in front of me, his body going through the horse. My breath caught in my throat. Especially as his fingers ran through my long hair. "My, have you grown into a beautiful woman."

I grit my teeth, glowering at him. Just as I was about to yell at him to get the hell away from me, he smirked. "I'm not here for you, you see. What I want is the Innocence your dear old General is hoarding."

No! As quickly as I could, I commanded Moon to take us back to Master. The carriage wasn't far off. Up above, the clouds were dark and low. I knew it would rain soon. The sun had well set by the time I got to the carriage. Moon skid to a stop and I jumped down. The lights were on in the carriage and smoke from the grill escaped the small chimney. Marcus looked over to me and blinked.

"Karena, there you are," he said. "What's the matter?"

I wouldn't tell him. Master was the only person I felt comfortable telling. Why burden a mere Finder with a man who wanted to destroy the Innocence we held? (Master had garnered seven fragments over the past two years.) My mind raced. Was Tyki an Akuma or what? I burst through the door. "Master!" I exclaimed, and then stopped myself because there was a young boy sitting in my seat, eating all the food Master would have saved for me.

The boy had snow white hair, gray eyes, and a nasty scar down his left eye. Beside him was a black and white Exorcist's coat.

_He's an Exorcist…?_

The boy blinked, confused. Master smiled. "Ah, Karena, you came at just the right time." He turned to the boy, who smiled now. "This is Allen Walker – the Order's newest Exorcist. He's parasitic too. Allen, this is Karena – my pupil."

Allen stood and offered his hand to me. "It's nice to meet you, Karena. You're parasitic too, huh?"

And while I had more important things to handle, I remained calm and took his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Allen," I replied. "And, yes, I am." Allen studied me long and hard. Maybe he thought I looked familiar? Or maybe he could hear my heart beating hard.

Master spoke as he cooked me up a plate of food, which – of course – wouldn't be enough. "Allen was just here to drop off my new golem, you see," he said. "He also helped me save a town not far off from here."

I sat across from Allen, beside Damon, and tried not to be so jittery. "Oh, really?" I asked, tapping my boot on the floor. Master nodded and smiled.

Allen smiled sheepishly, hoping to keep the conversation going. "General Yeegar just told me about his past. Were you the Exorcist that destroyed that Akuma back hen?" It was an innocent question, but it made me tremble.

I shook my head slowly. "No…I'm not that old," I said, grinning despite the familiar pain in my heart. "That was actually – an old friend of mine, Ashton."

Allen understood the look of sorrow in my brown eyes and immediately went quiet. "Well," he said, standing, "I'm sorry. I'll be off now."

Master turned to him, sliding three pieces of steak onto my plate. "So soon?" he asked. "Are you going to be fine on your own tonight? I insist that you stay the night."

"Master," I hissed.

Allen shook his head. "No, I'll be fine. The station isn't far at all from here." Allen thanked Master immensely for his hospitality and then told me that he can't wait for the day we meet again. After that, he left.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize that the next time we met would be very soon. And it wouldn't be on good terms.


	13. The Thirteenth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Later on that day, it rained. Master told me about Allen some more. He said that Allen had told him about his past, and I couldn't believe what I heard. Apparently, when Allen was younger, his adoptive father – Mana – died, and he turned him into an Akuma. After that, Allen had to destroy him with his Innocence. Mana cursed him with an eye that can see Akuma souls. Afterwards, General Cross Marian took Allen in and began training him harshly. When I heard that, I grew a soft spot in my heart for Allen Walker. He was only fifteen and already he'd gone through so much.

It was hard to ease into another subject after that, but I had to warn Master somehow. I swallowed hard. "Master…" I started, not daring to look him in the eye. The gray-eyed man looked to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly the carriage stopped. It rocked as the horses neighed and attempted to back away at whatever was out there.

"General…!" called Damon from outside, fear obvious in his voice. That wasn't good. Master and I jumped out of the carriage; I pulled up my hood against the rain. My eyes grew wide with shock at what I saw. Blocking the path was two, huge, Level Two Akuma. They looked like knights, except not charming. At all. Four Level Ones accompanied them. Tierri hopped down from Moon, whom he was riding so that I wouldn't have to.

Atop the Akuma on the right sat a little girl. She held a pink umbrella; wore stockings and a school-girl uniform. By her gray skin, I knew she was like Tyki and Sheryl. And speaking of Tyki, the tall man stepped out from behind the leg of the second Akuma, smiling. While I trembled where I stood, Master remained as calm as ever. "State your name," he said to them softly.

The little girl with eyes as gold as Tyki's said, "My name is Road Kamelot."

Tyki adjusted the hat on his head. "And I am Tyki Mikk." His eyes locked onto mine, sending my heart into my throat. "We hear that you have Innocence, and would be glad to take it off your hands." He smirked maliciously.

"Karena," said Master quietly, "get ready. Marcus, Tierri, Damon, get out of here." The three Finders were startled at the request, but when Master ordered them to inform the Black Order they were being attacked by 'The Clan of Noah,' he said, they ran off. The Level One Akuma began to advance on them, and I jumped into the air, breaking out my wings and sending gusts of wind to kill them. Master brought out his sharpened pendulums and began to fight off the bigger Akuma.

Tyki and Road stepped out of the way, and while Road seemed so entertained at the both of us, I swear I could feel Tyki's eyes watch my every movement. The more Level One Akuma I killed, the more that appeared. Master and I worked together as hard as we could to fend them off. We had to protect the Innocence!

At last, the Level Ones were done off with. I landed safely beside Master. Now we were to deal with the ginormous Level Twos. Naturally, Master took on the one on the right, and I – well – tried the one on the left. He thrust at me with his javelin, cutting my arm, knocking me to the muddy ground. I sat up just as Master wrapped the chain around the Akuma's javelin, giving me the perfect opportunity to jump to my feet and swipe wind directly at his heart. With a big explosion, the last of the Akuma were done for.

I drifted over to the exhausted old man I called my Master. We were both out of breath, but as long as we were standing, we would never back down. Tyki and Road stood some ways away from us. We each had a staring contest. Master was the first to speak up. "You're from the Clan of Noah, are you not?" he stated. "I hear you _are_ human, though you surround yourself with Akuma. So what made your Clan bow down to The Millennium Earl?"

Did I hear him correctly? Tyki was an ally of the Earl! He's human, though. That doesn't explain the gray skin and gold eyes he has when he's not a homeless man. What exactly was this Clan of Noah?

What Master said obviously struck a nerve: "We're not _bowing down_ to anyone," Tyki almost growled.

"And we're anything _but_ human," Road sneered. "We're superhuman; we inherited the genes of Noah – mankind's oldest Apostle." Then she smiled cheerfully. "We find you lesser beings deplorable and will see to it that your kind will end soon."

I grit my teeth in anger. None of this was making sense. Out of the blue, Master threw his pendulums at Road, but instead caught hold of her umbrella. It talked! With a little pumpkin head, it screamed for Master to let it go. What he did instead was pull it back and shoot it at Road, scratching her cheek! I grinned at the accomplishment, but soon frowned when I saw the look of irritation in Road's expression. With a wave of her hand, she shouted a curse word at him, and pink shimmering lights began to glow around Master. I gasped.

He shoved me aside. "Run!" he commanded. His eyes widened and he held his head as if he had a migraine, uttering out sounds of struggle.

I hurried to his side, holding on to him. "Master…? Master…Master!" I shouted. But he wouldn't respond. My head snapped to Tyki and Road. The girl stood there, smirking contently, hands behind her back. "Tyki, what have you done to him?" I barked.

He shrugged. "I did nothing. It's all Road."

"And what did _she_ do to him?" I growled, venom dripping from my words.

"Sent him into his own mind – to relive his past a little," she said cheerfully. It clicked, then. She was torturing him with his own mind! I shook Master roughly.

"Master! Master, snap out of it! Please!" In response, he only screamed. Startled, I jumped back, wings disappearing. They reacted to my fear, which wasn't a good thing. Moon was hiding behind a tree, making strange sounds. Master said to run – should I listen to him? Who knows what Road could do with my mind, with all I'd been through.

That's when Tyki took a menacing step forward. "Are you going to give me some fun and run or just stand there like a dolt?" he asked pleasantly.

Like a coward – I jumped onto Moon's back and ran. Ran for dear life. I would never leave Moon behind, no matter if that was the easier thing to do or not. _Don't look behind you. Don't you dare look behind you, _I repeated to myself in my head. I knew what I would do: I would find more Exorcists. There was strength in numbers, and I would need as much strength I could get. I was terrified. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Coward.

It was many minutes before we came to an abrupt, unwelcome stop. Without knowing my way through the forest was dangerous, but getting lost wasn't the worst thing that happened in that moment. Moon collapsed face-first to the floor, throwing me over in the process. I skid across the mud and landed by a tree. Quickly turning with panicked eyes, I saw Moon limp and lifeless, blood spilling from her mouth. I screamed and crawled back against the tree. Tyki stood behind her, holding something red and dripping blood in his hand. It stopped beating the more I stared at it.

This time, I couldn't hold back. I leaned over to the side and threw up my meal from earlier. Tyki laughed at my expense and tossed the organ aside. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop shaking, shaking all over. I'd never been so terrified for my life before now. My breath came out jaggedly. As Tyki approached me calmly, stepping over Moon, I pressed back against the tree as much as I could. I would have ran, but my legs felt like lead weights. Tyki knelt in front of me and studied my paled features.

He attempted to grab my hand, but I jerked away, whimpering like a child. His frown told me that he wasn't pleased. Firmly, he snatched up my wrist and I cried out, though he didn't hurt me. Instead, he used my own sleeve to wipe my mouth free of any leftover vomit. I shut my eyes tightly, crying still, and turned away from him. Tyki still held my wrist tightly. His gold eyes carefully scanned my body. Finally, he said:

"I'm going to let you live – even though I could tear out those wings of yours like nothing." His words shocked me. He smirked. "I'm not ready to kill you off just yet, pet. Feel free to come and find me. You realize that you belong to me, don't you?"

I remained silent; the only sound to be heard from me was my heavy breathing.

Tyki gave my wrist a squeeze and jerked me. _"Don't you?"_ he hissed.

"Yes," I sobbed.

His grip loosened on me. With his free hand, he pulled my hood down to stroke my hair. That hand traveled from the top of my head to the back and rested there. The gray-skinned man leaned close. His lips brushed against mine – just as his fingers phased through my skull, touching a pressure point that guaranteed my blackout…

…I dreamed in my deep sleep. Terrible dreams. The dreams were just like the one before: All of my comrades and friends died all around me. My father became an Akuma and shot me. Despite the trauma, I survived. And I ran to Tyki Mikk for shelter and protection…

…When I finally awoke I don't know how long later, I was on a soft bed, sore all over. _Déjà vu. __I stirred slightly, not wanting to move at all. In fact, I wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep for the rest of my life. I wished I could, so badly. _

_A redhead was sitting beside me. He seemed happy to see me awake, but I couldn't make out his garbled speech. Finally, my eyes focused and the words and face clicked in my throbbing head. It was Lavi. After all these years – it was Lavi. "…you'd never wake up!" he was saying._

_I shook my head. "Don't talk so loud," I grumbled._

_He laughed a bit and touched my head, making me wince. "Are you feeling all right now?" Was that sympathy in his green eye?_

_I closed my eyes, previous moments flooding back to me. "No," I croaked, feeling tears coming on. Lavi frowned deeply, went quiet. He didn't know what to say. "Lavi," I finally said, voice wavering._

_"What is it, Karena?" he asked softly._

_"What is the Clan of Noah?"_


	14. THe Fourteenth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Master died that day. So did yet another piece of me.

We were sent to the Black Order: Master was to be cremated. The hospital room I awoke in was full of people – Lavi, Lenalee, Allen, Komui, Bookman, and the three Finders. I was at least glad to see they'd made it out alive.

"How did you find me?" I asked Komui when they were carefully taking Master's dead body out of the room. I dare not look.

"Are you kidding?" Lavi said before Komui could. "We wouldn't stop until we found you." His tone went soft and somber. "And then there you were – laying on the forest floor beside…barf and a bleeding white horse…"

Moon. Agh, Tyki Mikk. He killed her. Tore her heart right out of her chest. I won't ever be able to get that image out of my head. Lavi was to accompany me in a different carriage back to the Order while Bookman, Komui, Lenalee, and Allen were in another. Master was in a different one than all of us. On the way, Lavi explained to me what was called the Heart of Innocence.

I had no idea why they didn't tell me this stuff earlier, but it was extremely important now that the Noah had arisen. Lavi explained everything to me: The Noah were just as Road Kamelot had said. They were super humans with the genes of the apostle Noah from the Bible. Not much was known about them, but I told Lavi that the three I met had different powers, so that was extra information for his records.

As for The Heart of Innocence? It is an Innocence fragment that has no special characteristics that we're aware of. Hell, we don't even know if someone has already become its Accommodator! There's just no way to tell. The Earl is trying to search for it to destroy it. If it's destroyed, all other Innocence in the world would be, too. And that's why we're trying to keep it from the Earl's clutches. Now he'd recruited the Noah to help him to his dirty work.

How many Noah there were, no one quite knew. I'd already met Tyki Mikk, Sheryl Kamelot, and Road Kamelot (no relation intended?). However many Noah there were, it didn't matter. The only one that mattered was Tyki. Because I was in debt to him, apparently I belonged to him. Agh! What a stupid debt! He takes me to the hospital so I don't toast in the sun and dehydrate, and suddenly I belong to him? Shit!

Well, no, he also spared me more than once. Does that make it right for me to owe my life to him? Hell no! I wouldn't stand for this. No. I would find Tyki. Kill him. I would! I would get my revenge for Master, return my freedom.

**| – – – – |**

I watched Master be cremated at the Order. Allen stayed by my side. He didn't mind that I cried. When the flames died down, he touched my back, frowning. Nodding over to the doorway, the young boy led me to the cafeteria, where Lenalee was waiting for me with a whole table-full of food.

I sat and shared with Allen. I hadn't had so much food in so long, I actually asked Lenalee for more. When she returned, I asked, "Where's Lavi?"

She carefully took a piece of shrimp and ate it. "He's with Bookman – said they have work to do."

"And Daisya?"

"He left on a mission to find General Tiedoll a bit ago."

"Yu?"

"Me? Umm…I've been here?"

"No, I mean Kanda."

"Oh!" She smiled sheepishly. "In his room, I think."

I sighed deeply and finished off the last of the food. Standing, I said, "I think…Imma take a walk, okay?"

There was nothing Lenalee could do to stop me, so she and Allen nodded, and I walked off. A trip to the training room was what I seriously needed. If I was ever to kill Tyki, I would need to get a lot stronger than I was. I chose a shaft from the large vase and swung it around, testing it. Then, I began training, using the stick as if it was a sword and Akuma were surrounding me in the room. I swiped and swung, and smacked the log in the center of the room until I'd broken the staff in half. Gritting my teeth, I threw what was left across the room. It made a _clack!_ and fell to the floor.

Growling, I strode over to the vase and pushed it to the ground. The vase shattered, scattering glass and sticks across the floor. Was it getting hot in here? I unbuttoned my coat and chucked it behind me. Suddenly, as I touched a staff, there was a sound behind me. As swiftly as I could, I spun around, staff in hand – and connected with the one and only Yu Kanda. Thankfully, I connected with the staff he held in his hand.

Over the years, the boy had grown more muscular. His raven hair was longer, in a ponytail now. Still, no matter how old Kanda got, his expression was a stoic one. His sharp onyx eyes narrowed a bit. I knew what that meant: It was about time for us to spar after two years.

And so we did. We sparred long and hard. Before long, we were both breaking a sweat. Kanda had definitely gotten stronger – no doubt about that. Fighting him, I slowly felt the stress on my shoulders unknot. And unlike when I faced Tyki Mikk days ago, I felt powerful. Kanda was definitely stronger than I was, but I didn't feel as weak as I did with the attractive Noah.

I ran away from Tyki like a coward. I've never felt so stupid!

Kanda slapped the staff from my hand and was about to strike my side when I grabbed the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. He stared at me and I stared at him. And then…I collapsed to the floor. On my knees, I hung my head low and sobbed. Of course, Kanda just stepped to the side, crossed his arms, and let me cry. Let me cry as I repeated to myself, "I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…"

If I hadn't run away, maybe Master would still be alive. If I wasn't so weak, maybe I could have faced the Noah like an Exorcist should.


	15. The Fifteenth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Soon Lenalee and Allen left, too. They were sent off by Chief Komui to find one of the Generals – Cross Marian. Daisya and Noise Marie were finding Tiedoll, and soon Kanda would leave with them once they had a lead.

In the library, Lavi and I read together. He told me about these missions for the Generals. Apparently, now that the Noah were here, we had to bring in the Generals before they were attacked just like Master was. Sol, Tina, and Gwen went to go find General Cloud Nyne. Suman, Kazana, and Chakar were looking for General Winters Sokalo. That left me, Lavi, Bookman, and two new people as the Exorcists of the Black Order. When I asked about the new Exorcists, Lavi laughed a bit.

"They're both in their later twenties – Miranda Lotto and Arystar Krory," he explained. "I would tell you their personalities, but I kind of think it would be better for you to meet them for yourself."

I raised my eyebrow in question. To answer my unspoken inquiry, a woman poked her head through the door. "Oh, no, this isn't my room either!" she bemoaned. When I turned, I saw she had wavy, brown hair and dark circles around her eyes. She wore a black dress, and black nail polish. I could already tell that this was Miranda Lotto. Weird – Lavi said she was in her late twenties, but her features were more of a timid child than a grown woman.

"Ah, Lavi…" Miranda said, stepping into the room, her boots clicking against the tile. "Can you show me where my room is agai—Ah!" And suddenly, she fell face-first on the floor. Lavi and I stared a bit wide-eyed. What did she trip on anyway? Because Lavi just sat there, I went over to her and helped her up.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "A-ah…yes. I'm so sorry!"

I blinked. "There's nothing to be sorry about," I said awkwardly. Remembering my manners, I held out my hand. "My name is Karena, by the way." Miranda smiled and introduced herself.

"Hey, Miranda, have you seen Krory?" Lavi asked, leaning back in his chair.

Miranda blinked as I helped her to her feet. "Um, no, I haven't. Sorry." But just then, Bookman walked into the room. The elderly man with nothing but a crop of gray hair on his head and dark make-up around his eyes gave Lavi a stern look. Apparently, they were going to accompany Krory on his mission – Komui's orders.

Lavi stood and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I guess I'll see you later, Karena," he sighed, slumping his shoulders. After saying our goodbyes, Lavi left me there in the library with Miranda.

I would see him later, all right. _Much_ later.

**| – – – – |**

While all my comrades were gone, I searched and searched through the books of the library for anything on the Clan of Noah. Once, I stayed up all night, flipping through the history books. Section Leader Reever had to help me find them all. He was thankful that I could always use my wings instead of having to climb all the way to the top. He found me in the morning – the candle wax melted, books scattered across the tiled floor, my head rested against the large text on the table. The Australian man shook his head and carried me to my room.

No matter how many books I read, there was nothing on the Noah. Lavi was right when he said that there wasn't much information on them, but I was hoping for more than nothing at all! The thought crossed my mind about sneaking into Bookman's room and trying to find a folder – anything! – on them. The Bookmen studied history, didn't they? They must have had something. First, I had to work up the courage to sneak into someone's room while they were gone. But once I did and peeked into the room, I gave up all hope of finding the information I needed.

Bookman and Lavi's room had to be the messiest room in the history (aha-ha, history – get it?) of messy rooms! The moment you stepped into the door, you stepped on newspaper. I would have to say it was messier than Komui's office. The floor was littered with papers: from newspapers to documents to…blank pages! The only thing that wasn't hidden by the papers was their bunk bed in the corner. A small table with a kettle and two chairs actually on top of a large pile.

With dread on my shoulders, I backed out of the room.

**| – – – – |**

_Knock, knock, knock…_

_Knock, knock, knock…_

Lifting my head from the table, I looked around. Another night spent in the library. I growled as I removed a stray piece of paper from my cheek. Gross; drool. Wiping my cheek with my sleeve, I heard the knocking coming from the door. I groaned and ran my fingers through my scarlet locks. My head pounded from too much reading. Curse Lavi for getting me into reading!

I wondered why someone would be knocking on the library door. "Come in?" I called uncertainly.

Reever immediately strode in. "Still hitting the books on the Noah?" he asked, though it was more of a statement in my eyes. I shrugged it off and tried to find my place. Reever sighed. "Go out, Karena," he said. "We're all worried about your health, so I want you to get out to town and have some fun, all right?"

I shook my head, attempting to rub the sleepy from my eyes. "No, no…I can't go out." I stood. "Let me just get some food and then I'll have to come back to-"

"Karena!" he snapped, grabbing my shoulders firmly. "It isn't okay for you to stay cooped up in the Order. I know you're still upset about the General's death, and I know you want revenge on the Noah, but hiding inside the Black Order isn't doing anything for you!" My heart twisted in a knot. "I'm saying this because we love you: Get some fresh air and take a walk."

I shifted away from his stern blue eyes. "Okay," I whispered. "Will you guys…not touch my things?" I gestured to the books dispersed across the floor.

The scientist smiled and nodded. "Sure."

So, I left. Taking the path through the Order's forest, I reached the edge of the cliff and tried to look down. The world was too far below to see. Frowning, I broke out my wings. Fifteen feet of white feathers, perfectly in place. I shook out my body and flexed and stretched. Then, I took off into the sky, flying out to town.

No one seemed to notice me land on top of a roof; however they did spot a certain redhead woman jump from said roof and land on her feet. I fixed my qipao and walked off, ignoring all the stares I got. Having my hood up helped the ignoring. Many people stared at the Rose Cross shining on my chest. If they were Akuma, none decided to show themselves. For that, I was glad. I could use a good fight, but Reever said to relax, and that's what I planned to do.

My flickering brown eyes caught site of a dress store. I hadn't really worn a dress before. The closest I ever got to one was wearing this qipao, and that isn't much of a dress like these. Stepping into the building, I scanned all of the different array of dresses I had to select. The room was perfumed sweetly. I had to smile at that. So many different designs arranged on mannequins, staring off into space. The moment I caught myself feeling the silky fabric of a flowing black and red gown, I stepped back, shaking my head at my stupidity.

I flipped off my hood and ran my fingers through my now-messy hair. What was I thinking? As an Exorcist, there was just no time for wearing dresses.

Just then, a small hand tugged on my uniform. I turned around and saw a small, homeless boy with bright brown eyes and dark hair. I blinked at him when he handed me an envelope with lovely calligraphy on the face. I squinted for a moment, letting my mind adjust as I normally did, and saw that the words said my name. The boy turned on his heel and began to walk off. Just a messenger? I stopped him a moment to give him some money that would hopefully pay for his next meal. He gave me a grateful smile and ran off.

After making sure he was gone before opening the letter, I carefully tore open the envelope. In the same beautiful handwriting, the letter read:

_Karena,_

_I see that you have recovered quite well. Welcome back. I'll get straight to the point: I know that you want to speak with me so badly, so I'll grant you that wish. Meet me at my brother's mansion tomorrow at seven o'clock and find me in the crowd. Oh, and be sure to dress nicely, yes? It _is_ a ball after all._

_Tyki Mikk_

There were directions at the bottom of the page, but my eyes were glued to the signature. My throat was tight; I could hardly breathe. Suddenly, my mouth felt dry. I shook all over. This could be my chance to get revenge – for Master. For everyone.


	16. The Sixteenth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Wings out. Push up. Land safely on the next floor up. The wings quickly disappeared as I strode into the science department. Reever looked up from the stack of papers on the table. When he saw the look in my eyes, his smile faded. "What's the matter?" he asked.

I immediately shook my head. "Nothing. Where's Kanda?" I looked for him in the only places I thought he would be – his room, the training room, or the cafeteria.

"Daisya found a lead on General Tiedoll's location, so he left." Crap, I knew it! Reever gave me a strange look. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

I groaned and walked away. "Everything's fine, Reever…! Thank you," I added quietly. I wanted Kanda to be here. The thought of facing a Noah alone scared me. Knowing what they could do, I didn't stand a chance. But who knew? Maybe Tyki didn't plan on hurting me. Or…maybe this whole ball thing was nothing but a plot to get rid of me – take my Innocence. My back ached with the thought of having my wings torn right out of me.

**| – – – – |**

It was already passed seven when I bought a dress. The same black and red dress from earlier – silky red, lacy black, reaching the floor. When the shop owner saw the face I pulled, she gave me free red heels to go with it. So, I paid for the dress and walked outside, where I decided to fly to Sheryl's mansion. I landed a ways away from the large home, studying everything about it. I noticed a few balconies, many windows with dark curtains to hide what they held inside. There were two suited men on either side of the open door. Security?

Whatever they were, I didn't have to mind them. I hid behind a bush and got dressed. The heels were incredibly uncomfortable, but I could manage. I concealed my uniform inside the bush's leaves. The walk to the mansion wasn't far away at all. The two men at the door bowed slightly to me. My blood ran cold when I saw how familiar their dark skin looked now that I got a good look at them.

Akuma.

But instead of facing them like an Exorcist, I decided not to draw attention to myself so early on, and walked through into the parlor.

The ballroom was filled with people in regal attire. A high chandelier brightly lit the room. I squeezed passed many people, but did not see Tyki Mikk. His brother was also out of sight – however, Sheryl was the least of my worries. It was Tyki who wanted me here, not Sheryl. If I was going to face anyone, it would be Tyki. Even if it _was_ Sheryl who invited me here, I would try and find Tyki anyway. After all, _he_ killed Master.

As the night wore on, I found no trace of Tyki in the large ballroom. I dare not go into any unfamiliar bedrooms upstairs – who knows what could be lying behind those doors? Finally, I went to a wall and leaned against it. Was Tyki really even here? Perhaps I was tricked. Fear and suspicion bubbled in my stomach and tormented my mind with the thought that the moment I set foot out of these gates, Tyki would be right behind me, tearing my heart out just like he did Moon. I swallowed hard, trying to stop my world from spinning.

"A drink, my dear?" came a voice from beside me.

Startled, I jumped to the side to see the one and only Tyki Mikk standing closely. Two glasses of wine were in his gloved hands. In my mind, I cursed myself for studying every inch of his well-dressed self. Tonight, he wore a prim suit, slicked back his hair. His skin was light, unlike it was in our last unfortunate encounter. Now I don't really prefer him at all, but if I did, I would prefer him in this white form. I shook away all thoughts of how that little mole under his eye was adorable. My eyes flickered to the drink.

"No; I'm fine, thank you," I said curtly.

But Tyki wouldn't accept that. He grabbed my hand and put the cup in my palm. "I insist," he said sternly. Best not to upset him, I figured, taking a drink. The red wine warmed my stomach in an oddly pleasing way. While I drank more of the alcohol, my eyes never left Tyki's. He even returned my stare, with a suspicious smirk. When I finished the glass, he was quick to offer more. I should have said no – denied him and started asking questions right there and then. But the drink was calling me for more – like chocolate for a pregnant woman – and I had to have it.

The tall man attempted to grab my hand and lead me to the kitchen, but I pulled away and followed him from a safe distance. He shrugged it off, and we went into the kitchen. It was almost the size of the cafeteria at the Order – probably a little bigger. The chefs were cooking off to the side and servers darted left and right. Aromas of different kinds filled the air, making my mouth water unbearably. No, I reminded myself, I'm here to get answers and (possibly) revenge. Eating was out of the question.

Tyki rummaged through a refrigerator until he came across two bottles of champagne. He poured the drink into our cups carefully. I hopped up on the counter and drank slowly. The taste was similar to the wine before. I wasn't sure if wine and champagne were different, except that our wine was red and this champagne was more of a yellow-y color.

"Enjoying the night?" asked the Portuguese man.

"Actually, it could be better," I answered honestly. "I could be here with someone else besides you."

I hoped my glare and bitter tone would strike a nerve, but it didn't; he actually smiled. "That's too bad, isn't it? We're here now."

I rolled my eyes, thinking, _I wish I weren't. _Finally, I sighed. "Let's get to the point, Tyki: I want to know about the Noah and you obviously have the answers."

He chortled. "That's funny: I want to know about you and _you_ are the only one with the answers."

I was at loss for words. It never crossed my mind that a Noah would want to know about _me_ of all people. Why not Allen Walker? Or Kanda? So I asked him, "Why me?" and took a drink.

Tyki closed his eyes and smiled, rolling the liquid around in his cup. "You're quite the interesting girl, Karena…"

My eyes narrowed. "So are all the other Exorcists. That doesn't answer my question," I snapped.

His reply was immediate, said as if rehearsed: "An angel on Earth, on a search for a mystery man with a past vaguely described. If you want to know about me, I'll have to know about you first."

What a stalker! We haven't spoken heart-to-heart before. How on earth does he know about me? Suddenly, as I drank, he said, "Let's save the questions for later. For now, just drink with me."

Persistent _and_ pushy; I wasn't liking this at all. Yet somehow I found myself drinking more. Being this close to a Noah made me shaky and my mouth dry. It didn't feel right at all to be so close to the enemy. But then I started to think: Am I the first Exorcist to actually hold a Noah in their grasp? Suddenly I felt powerful.

Maybe I could kill him now. I could slash his throat with a wind blade. I could…I could! He's right here in your hands, Karena, do it!

But I couldn't. And the strength I felt before was gone in an instant. I remained seated on the counter, drinking, listening to Tyki tell me about how Sheryl is a diplomat, and how he adopted Road Kamelot, which makes her his niece. I wanted nothing more than to be away from him, but I couldn't just leave. When I was young, my dad told me not to drink my troubles away like "a certain someone [he] knew." Was it even possible to drink your troubles away? Maybe alcohol could help me.

After two more glasses, I felt a weight begin to come off my shoulders and a heat come on my cheeks. That's where things began to blur together, really.

I felt Tyki's hand on my shoulder, and he asked me if I was all right. I told him yes, but I was just really thirsty. His smirk was as clear as day. He moved his hand to mine and said that I could finish the bottle, but that was it. I'd never been drunk before. Tyki beside me never touched more of the stuff. He stood there, leaned against the counter, watching me drink.

It felt nice to drink. Dad was wrong. The beverage allowed me to listen to him without really having to _listen_ to him. For that, I was grateful. But it also allowed me to lose sense of time. The memories of that night fade in and out. One moment, Tyki was talking to me, and then the next his lips were on mine.

I remember a taste – the taste of his tongue. Then his arms were around me. Suddenly, I was on a bed, and it was cold because my dress had been removed. There was pain. There was pain and euphoria. And his breath on my neck. I looked down at him at some point before he looked down at me again. He was all over.

I wasn't cold anymore. Tyki kept me warm. A feeling of nirvana took over at some point.

…

…Was I dreaming? It felt so real, but in the half-asleep state I was in, I couldn't tell.

I was lying on my side, curled up against Tyki. He lie behind me, barely playing with my hair. The door creaked open and someone stepped into the room. "…Brother, you've done well," said the man.

Tyki's voice was a mixture of boredom and irritation. "Were you watching again?"

"Perhaps," the brother replied, a smile in his voice. "Now wake her up. I want her awake while I torture her…"

Now Tyki's voice sharpened unexpectedly. "No."

"No?"

"Leave. Now." He paused a few moments. "I'm not done with her yet." He didn't sound certain.

"Oh," his brother growled, "I see now…" He strode out of the room, and slammed the door.

I stirred, starting to wake up fully. "Tyki…?" I started.

He shook his head and moved my hair behind my ear. "Go back to sleep, Karena. We'll talk in the morning."

Was it a dream? Or wasn't it…?


	17. The Seventeenth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

The next morning when I woke up, Tyki was gone. I was still lying in his bed, bare besides the blanket draped over my body. Sitting up slowly, my eyes scanned the room. It was a simply furnished room – no pictures to verify if this was really Tyki's room or not. It took a few moments for the feeling to sink in: the feeling of guilt and shame. It made me want to throw up. Instead, I hugged my knees close to my chest and cried.

How could I allow myself to be taken so easily? Am I so weak? I've betrayed my alliance; betrayed my _family_. Betrayed myself and my dignity. How could I give my virginity to a Noah? Suddenly there was a sound outside the door, and I quickly wiped my tears and watched the door for anyone to walk in. But after five minutes, no one came. It was probably just a maid or something.

Now that I had regained myself (for the moment, at least), I wrapped the blanket around me to get my dress off the floor. But just the very sight of the dress strewn on the floor, a scene flashed before my eyes: _Tyki and I were breathing hard. His ungloved hands were grabbing me all over. In midst of the passion, he tore off the dress and threw it to the floor, leaving me completely vulnerable and at his will. _I shook my mind free of the horrible images. There came the nausea again.

What else could I wear? I wondered, looking around the room. Just then there was a knock on the door and a maid walked in suddenly, making me jump. The Akuma maid woman presented me with a folded, scarlet-colored dress. "These were sent by Lord Kamelot for you, miss," she said. I eyed the clothes, unsure, but what other choice did I have? So I carefully took the clothes and thanked her quietly, and she exited the room. The dress was comfortable and easy to put on.

For a brief moment, I hoped I could keep it, but then I realized it came from Sheryl. Ugh – never mind.

I had to find Tyki Mikk. I was going to kick his ass! Slipping on the heels, I strode out of the room. I wouldn't call out for him – that would just be stupid. Instead, I had to search wherever I could. Most of the rooms I went into were empty, the others were locked. When I went down the stairs into the parlor, I saw that the far back door was open – a cool breeze flowing into the house. Growling, I strode over to the door. As I approached, a sleeved arm was revealed to be rested against a glass table. _Tyki, _I hissed in my mind.

But it wasn't Tyki at all. It was Sheryl Kamelot, drinking tea in the morning cold. Down the steps, a beautiful garden was displayed with roses of every color. Any other time I'd be dazzled, but now… He barely glanced at me when I stood beside him. After a long, awkward pause, he said, "Beautiful morning we're having, isn't it, Miss Karena?"

I grit my teeth, despising him for being a Noah and for being related to Tyki. "It could be better," I spat. "Where is that bastard brother of yours?"

But Sheryl was having none of that. "I don't hear a thank you for allowing you to wear my wife's clothing," he noted. Exasperated, I gave him a hasty thanks. Before I could repeat my question, he spoke again. This time, something cold stained his tone: "I give you access into my home and into my kitchen; permit you to sleep with my brother" – my heart skipped a beat, especially at the glare he shot me – "and you expect me to let you stand there with such a rude attitude…and _still. Live?"_

My wings ached faintly. My instincts were telling me it was time to get out of there. But before I could, an invisible entity forced me to my knees. It felt like my muscles had become lead weights. I couldn't even speak! I was on one knee, as if proposing, my head bowed to the floor. Sheryl stood from the table and walked around to stand before me. He knelt to the ground and snatched up my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye.

His eyes were wild with hate and loss of self-control. "I don't like you, Exorcist. At. All," he growled. Tilting his head, I found insanity in those now gold eyes. "I want you dead," he whispered. Suddenly, I felt as if I were inside a box from the inside. Inside, my bones became constricted, shrinking closer and closer together. Soon, breathing was difficult. Sheryl – he was trying to crush me!

I inhaled sharply, my lungs searching for air frantically until…

"_Brother!"_ boomed a voice from inside the house.

And just like that, I was free from Sheryl's power. I fell to the floor, gasping and coughing on air like a fish out of water. Sheryl stood, his gray skin returning to its lighter color. As I held my throat, he smiled cheerfully. "Brother," he cooed, "there you are! I was looking everywhere for you."

Tyki strode out of the mansion, a glare plastered on his expression. Getting up close to Sheryl's face, he hissed, "Did I not tell you that I wasn't done with her yet?" Sheryl didn't reply – simply met Tyki's glare solemnly. "_I_ will handle the Exorcist. If you do not like it, you will take it up with me." And for some stupid reason, I thought Tyki would gently help me to my feet. In reality, he grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet, and then pulled me all the way out the front door.

Once we were out of Sheryl's sight, Tyki decided to be a little gentler. Though, only a little. He released my arm and stared me square in the eyes. "Are you hurt?" he asked hurriedly.

Truth was, I was in pain, but I wouldn't let him know that. "No," I sighed. "But the next time I see Sheryl, I'll-"

He was quick to correct me. "You won't be doing anything to my brother," he snapped quietly. "If you want to know about the Noah, I'll do it."

Too good to be true!

"For a price."

Dammit; I knew it.

"If I am to give you _any_ information on my clan, you are to sleep with me – whenever I want, however I want."

"No way!" I yelled. "I'm not that desperate!"

"You were last night," he said slyly. "What's stopping you now?"

"My soberness," I retorted, not even knowing if that was a word.

"You've already lost your dignity, so what's the point?"

"I have self-control now!"

"Will you not even give yourself up for the sake of the Black Order?"

That statement made me stop my rampage. "What…?" I whispered.

"An Exorcist should be willing to give herself up for the good of the Black Order, yes?" I remained silent. Even as the sly man grabbed my wrist and pulled our bodies against one another, his breath brushing against my ear as he whispered, I did not speak. "Such a small thing as this should be nothing. You are a woman; it's the least you can do for your 'family.'" He paused. "Unless…you're _not_ willing to give yourself up for them…?"

I couldn't answer him. Wouldn't. I loved the Order because it was my home, and everyone in it was my family. But to sleep with a Noah? That would be contradicting the purpose, wouldn't it? Besides, I wasn't willing at all to have sex with him again. I couldn't. Wouldn't.

**Predictability FTW! 8D**


	18. The Eighteenth Chapter

**Good Lord, I have the worst writer's block evar. BT **

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Tyki allowed me to go home, but only for today. He said that the next night, he wanted me back at the mansion. A part of me wasn't willing to find out what would happen if that wasn't an option, but the other 80% said "Hell no! I'm never going back to that place again!" I didn't want to admit it, but Tyki Mikk terrified me – he and Sheryl. No, the Noah in general scare me! The things they could do in the snap of a finger were beyond an Exorcist's control, and I think that's what frightened me the most.

I never got to ask him any questions about the Clan. Today, I would take the time to think of all the questions I wanted. When I got home, Reever questioned me about where I'd been and where my Exorcist clothes were. I just shook my head, told him I needed a new uniform, left it at that. He was about to ask more questions, when Johnny interrupted him. "Oh, don't worry about that, Karena!" He was grinning. "We're making the new Exorcist uniforms right now!"

I blinked and turned to him. "New uniforms?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah! You've been wearing that same styled qipao since the day you joined the Order. It's high time you all had a uniform change! And with all the other Exorcists out in the heat of battle, we'll be sending them their new uniforms as well."

Mentioning the other Exorcists reminded me that Lavi and Krory would be back sometime. But I wanted to talk to Lavi immediately. There was something about him that I said that I could confide in him. For now, Miranda Lotto and I were the only ones here, and I couldn't really talk to a woman I didn't know. Before I could talk to him, I went to my room. Taking off the dress, I contemplated the things I could tell him. Maybe I'd tell him everything?

No, what if he thinks little of me for giving in to alcohol? Ohh! That's it: I decided I'd just wing it. If I broke down on the phone, then I broke down. Oh, well. When I entered Chief Komui's filthy office, things were quiet. The beret-wearing man was asleep at his desk, which was perfect. I'd have to keep my voice low and hope that Lavi was able to hear his golem so we could talk.

Komui's office had a round structure. Papers cluttered the floor, making it impossible to see the actual floor. The Asian man hated doing paperwork; this must have been the result of his tantrums. Komui is Lenalee's older brother. When she was young, their parents were killed by Akuma, and she was torn away from Komui to be an Exorcist. It wasn't until years later that he made it into the Black Order as a scientist. It didn't take long to become the Chief, with his intelligence. Still, it was hard for me to think of the lazy man as a proper Chief of the Black Order.

I guess it was his smarts that got him to the position he's in now, not his laziness. I couldn't help but smile at him.

Trying to be as quiet as I could, I picked up the phone and dialed in Lavi's golem number. It rang once…twice…a third time. Would he answer? Ah, there was his gentle voice. A voice filled with happiness, but the mystery of a boy who dare not reveal his past as a Bookman to me.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Lavi…?" I had to confirm.

The smile was obvious in his voice. "Karena? Is that you? Man, am I glad to hear from you! What's been up? How have you been handling things over there?" He was happy to hear from me? It made me tear up. My throat gone tight, I couldn't answer his excited questions. He paused a moment, before he realized that the choked words I attempted to mutter were from the tears on my cheeks. "Are you all right?" he asked, concerned.

"Lavi, when are you coming home?" I finally whispered, my voice quavering.

"Not for a while," he answered honestly. "Komui just called me not too long ago. Seems like Krory and I are to join Allen and Lenalee in Asia. There's been a lead on the General, and…" He trailed off before changing the subject. "Did – something happen?"

I buried my face in my hand. "Yes, something happened, but…I just want you here." I needed for someone I was close with to hold me and let me cry. I should have called Lenalee, but I knew she was on a mission. I didn't know Lavi wouldn't be back home for a long time.

"S-sorry I can't be there, Karena, but…once this mission is over, we can talk as much as you want, okay?" he tried.

I didn't answer him; just hung up. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, Komui sat up from his desk and blinked. He fixed his glasses and studied me. "Karena, what are you doing in here…? Is everything all right?"

Without answer, I strode out of the office.

**| – – – – |**

For the next week and a half, I kept to myself. Tyki Mikk haunted my sleep. In the dream world, he reminded me of the pleasure I barely remember. At times, it was unbearable to ignore that need. To get my mind off of it, I trained hard. If I didn't think about it, the feeling went away. However, today was different. Too long had I denied Lust calling my name.

I put on my new uniform: a loose-sleeved shirt, tight pants – my long, dark brown boots went over the pants. I added the black gloves myself. My wings still went through the fabric with any tearing. As always, the uniform came in black and white, with a Rose Cross pinned right over my heart. Then, after brushing my hair, I was off out my window to Sheryl's mansion.

At the moment, I didn't care if it was broad day light. I needed Tyki Mikk.

It was as wonderful as my dreams showed me it'd be, but even better, because it wasn't a dream.

Afterward, we laid together in silence. Before I started asking questions, I'd need my breath back from him. As I was attempting to collect my thoughts together and find my voice, he smirked beside me. "You're about to pelt me with heated questions now, aren't you," he noted. "Why must you ruin my good mood, mm?"

Before telling him what was on my mind, I paused. "Does it cost anything to know about…non-Noah related things?"

The handsome man blinked at the question. "Umm, I suppose not," he replied unsurely. "What could you possibly want to know?"

Swallowing hard, I shifted under the blankets. I was just wasting my time with this. Still, I figured it'd be a waste to just ask one question per lay. "A long time ago, when I saw you with those homeless human men…" I chortled, trying to find a way to put the question. "If your brother is so powerful…why would you waste your time with that?"

After a moment's hesitation, he began to smile, and then laugh. "Because it makes me happy," he finally said, utterly shocking me.

"What?" I asked, baffled. "Being a vagabond makes you _happy?"_

He chuckled and held me closer. "Makes me feel human." Just as I was about to ask him more, he suddenly said, "Now that question about the Noah?"

What a disappointment; he wouldn't discuss any of it further with me. Before he got too angry, I was forced to ask about the Noah. So, sighing deeply, I asked, "How many of you are in the Clan?"

"Currently? Six. Or seven, depending on how you see things."

What kind of answer was that? Squinting suspiciously at him, I asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"

And in return, he smirked and said slyly, "One question per orgasm, please."


	19. The Nineteenth Chapter

**Why is it that asterisks don't work here…? Hmph. Oh, well. I'll use a bold ellipse instead. P: **

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

For the next week and a half, I snuck out of the Black Order to see Tyki. The days are blurring together, really. No word from Lenalee and the others; I'm worried. I think about them everyday – even when I'm in bed with the Noah. Sometimes I would forget to ask him my question and I'd lose my chance. I'd gotten a bit too comfortable around him and allowed myself to sleep beside him. After the fourth time of forgetting to ask him my question and getting to know him instead, I actually stopped inquiring him. Sometimes I'd think of myself as a traitor.

But the times I'm in his arms, I…I'm nothing but beautiful, wanted. He's become even gentler, treated me like I mean something more than just a badge. One night, a few days ago, he lay down beside me and said, "Now I want you to tell me about yourself." So I told him. I told him that I couldn't write, can't remember much of my childhood. My father took very good care of me, I recall – never sent me to school, though, and when I was ten, he tried to kill me.

"How did he try to kill you?" Tyki asked.

I paused, searching my vague memory. "I don't remember the specifics; it's more like a nightmare now, but…I know he had a large gun. But then everything goes black. All I know is when I woke up, the house was destroyed and I was bleeding badly. There was nothing left of him, but I knew he was dead…" I shifted my eyes away sadly.

He chose his words carefully for speaking again: "And what did you do then?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head on his chest, holding my body closer to him. Tyki was always so warm. "I found the picture of my uncle, took it, and ran." Shame clenched my heart. I was always so ashamed that I just left after that. "I've been searching for my uncle ever since that day. When I met you at that party" – Tyki winced a bit – "I was actually still on my quest. I don't have any leads at all."

"Well, have you showed this picture to anyone?"

"No," I said. "And it's too late now: Someone stole my old uniform that I left in the bushes. B-but I know that my uncle looks like me…! Except male, you know."

My love chuckled a bit and kissed my head. "Yeah, I know," he said as he rolled me over on my back and crawled on top of me.

…After, as I began to drift off to sleep, Tyki held me close and whispered, "I'm leaving in a bit. And I won't be back for quite a while. Alright?"

And of course, I nodded with no questions asked.

…

Days later, I awoke from a late nap to a tense hush. I passed by two whispering Finders as they said, "Oh, there she is."

Narrowing my eyes, I turned to them. "Yes? What's going on here? Why is everyone so…quiet?"

They said nothing. Only pointed toward the chapel. In that moment, I knew something was wrong – terribly wrong. Fear wrapping its tendrils around my mind, I rushed to the chapel. There, I found a large crowd of Finders and scientists, and the sound of weeping filled the room. I pushed through the crowd, all the way to the rail. By the time I got there, I stood beside Komui and stared down at all the coffins. My heart stopped when I saw six coffins with Exorcist badges on white blankets over them: my comrades.

Reever held a clipboard with shaky hands. The more names he read off, the more tears filled my eyes and began to overflow onto my cheeks: "From the Tiedoll unit: Daisya Barry. From Sokalo unit: Kazana Reed and Chakar Labón. And from Klaud unit: Tina Spark, Gwen Fraer, and Sol Galen." He looked away from the clipboard and out into the cluttered coffins, where Finders wept over their comrades. "All totaled, six Exorcists and 148 Finders gave their lives in battle. Making the death count 156."

The only sound in the chapel were sobs of sorrow and pain. All of my comrades, all of my _friends, _are dead. Reever didn't mention Lenalee, Kanda, Lavi, or Allen's name, though, so where were they? I had to grip onto the rail as tight as I could to keep myself from falling to my knees and breaking down. Komui, behind me, looked as if he was just slapped in the face, staring out at the coffins, stunned in place. My brown eyes glided from Sol's coffin…to Gwen's and Tina's…Chakar and Kazana…until they finally landed on the coffin to the far left of me: Daisya's.

The last time I saw him – it was so long ago. What was the last thing we said to each other? How could he – just leave me without saying good bye? That asshole…! That stupid, funny, cute…friendly…dependable asshole…

I leaned over on the rail and pressed my forehead against my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks and dripping to the floor. I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lip. At the moment, I didn't care that all the scientists and remaining Finders saw an Exorcist weeping pitifully over her comrades.

Some of the scientists began whispering stupid things: "If six Exorcists couldn't handle this war, what makes us think we have any hope…?" "This is a lost war…" "I can't believe they lost to the Clan of Noah…"

"Shut up!" I yelled without turning to them.

Reever's voice was ice cold as he growled, "Don't you have any respect for the dead? Instead of whining like bitches, maybe you should have a little more hope for us and pay your respect for your fallen comrades."

Komui whispered an almost inaudible, "Welcome home," removed his beret, and bowed. Everyone else – immediately shutting up – bowed as well. Cheeks warm with anger but wet with tears, I remained where I was and cried, whispering the name of my comrade – my boy I've been friends with longest – Daisya Barry.

**| – – – – |**

The coffins burned.

The scientists and Finders scattered back to their daily lives, broken and downhearted.

I caught up to Komui and Reever on their way to Komui's office. Reever was informing him on the late Exorcists, how they died.

"…It's really strange," Reever was saying. "When investigated, Daisya Barry, Kazana Reed, and Chakar Labón seemed to have at least one vital organ missing from their body, but there were no visible lacerations indicating that they had been cut open. It's impossible."

Hearing that made me slow my pace behind them. Tyki's face came to mind – he had that power. He had left days ago, almost a week; he couldn't have…killed Daisya, could he? No…No, this can't be happening! If he killed Daisya and the others…what if he got a hold of Lenalee and Kanda? And-and Lavi! Oh, no…and poor Allen, too.

"Chief!" called a Finder, hurrying with his friend to Komui and Reever. Startled, I hid. I would have to wait for Komui to be alone before I asked him….

…. "Komui, please send me out in Allen's place!"

The Asian man blinked and studied me with serious dark eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Please, sir," I begged, "Allen Walker is just a fifteen-year-old boy. Six Exorcists have died simply trying to find their Generals." I paused to exhale and calm myself down. "Please, just give me their location and I'll fly over there as fast as I can and get Allen out of this situation. He can't. Handle this. He's just a child!"

Komui gritted his teeth. "No, Karena. You'll never make it to them in time. They're on their way to Japan right now; by the time you get there, they will have most likely found the General already. In any case…Allen is strong already. He will be fine with Lavi, Krory, and – Lenalee there with him."

"Sir, you don't know what they're up against…!" I tried, exasperated.

"Oh? And I assume _you_ know what they're up against?" he challenged.

I couldn't tell him about me and Tyki: I wasn't ready to face the death penalty. So with my fists clenched, I said, "No. But if someone from this so-called Clan of Noah is pulling out fucking _organs_ without cutting them open, this is obviously something unsuitable for a fifteen-year-old!" I didn't want to curse around Komui, but I was just so darn angry!

The Chief slammed his hands on the table. "You are out of line, Karena," he shouted. "You are to stay in the Black Order with us. If there is an attack, you are the only Exorcist here to protect your home. Now out of my office…!"

Before I cried, I had to do what he said and leave.

**...**

**Like fo sho', guys, I was almost crying thinking about Daisya being dead when I wrote this. ; ~ ; I love the little bugger! **


	20. The Twentieth Chapter

**D. Gray-man **© **Katsura Hoshino**

Another two weeks.

No word from Lenalee and the others.

No sign of Tyki.

No hope in my heart.

Last night, I had another nightmare. It was a wasteland. The Black Order was in ruins, everyone was dead around me. Lenalee was the only survivor. Allen's corpse lies on her lap. I called out to her, voice bouncing off of nothing. Just as she looked up at me, her eyes widened at the shadowy figure behind me. Tyki's fingers ran down my spine.

I was frozen. Suddenly he grabbed my wings and began tearing them out of my back—

I shot up in bed, a cold sweat on my brow. God…It was time to wake up anyway. I got out of bed and found my clothes: black spaghetti strap and Exorcist jacket, white and black pants and dark brown boots, and gloves. Taking a walk down the halls, I realized how dull the Order was. There was nothing to do in here except eat, train, and grieve. Today, I passed by the chapel to reminisce. So many comrades of mine had been burned here.

I leaned on my hand. Ashton, Daisya, Sol, Tina and Gwen, Kazana and Chakar, too. Daisya was only nineteen, like me. He deserved a longer life than this. With them gone, it left me to wonder if everyone else was alive and well. Were they fighting hard? Or were they rotting somewhere? Shortly after the cremating, Generals Cloud and Sokalo arrived. Cloud was heartbroken that her pupils had died. Sokalo? He made it clear that he didn't give a shit.

Suman Dark – Sokalo's last remaining student – was still out there somewhere. Perhaps he was with Lenalee, on her search for Cross Marian. I heard that Kanda and Noise had found General Tiedoll already, and that was good. Unfortunately, they're accompanying Lavi and Lenalee on the mission. Miranda Lotto had left, too. Really, did it take that many people to find one guy? Jeesh!

Only thirteen remaining Exorcists. That isn't so bad, but the war would be much easier if we had the number we had before.

The smell of smoke had aired out completely. For that, I was glad – I didn't need to be reminded of Daisya's body burning. The reason the bodies are burned when they die is to avoid becoming Akuma. I'm not sure on how it all works, but apparently if a body is cremated, their soul can't be called back to become Akuma.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my back. Thinking it was Tyki, I spun around, ready to attack…Cloud Nyne. The beautiful, purple-eyed, blond woman smiled weakly at me, understanding the pain in my eyes.

**| – – – – |**

I was standing with Reever and Komui in Hevlaska's room when she announced it. "An Exorcist has exceeded a synchro rate over 100%!" In that moment, I thought of Allen and took a step back. It was him. It had to be.

Reever gave me and Komui a shaky smile. "Did you two just think of Allen, too?"

Without warning, I activated my Innocence and flew out of there. Komui called after me, but I ignored him. There was only reason why Allen would have to be forced to synchronize with his Innocence over the limit. I wouldn't stand for it.

When I finally made it to my destination, I pounded hard on the door. Just the man I wanted to see opened the door, and as soon as he saw me, he scowled. "What on earth brings you to my mansion, Exorcist?" asked Sheryl Kamelot bitterly.

I gave him my sternest stare. "Tyki. I want to know where he is. I haven't seen him in weeks and now my friend is in danger. Coincidence?" I crossed my arms and brought in my wings, showing him that I wasn't going anywhere without answers.

Sheryl sighed and held his head. "My brother is out on a mission, and that is all you need to know." He smirked then. "But…I am interested. Your friend is in danger? And just because Tyki isn't here, you suspect that he – your _dear lover_ – is the cause of that?" He laughed. "Some trust you have."

I blushed deeply, giving him a glare. "I-I do…trust him, I…" I looked away, torn. "B-but he's a Noah! And I can't…" At lost for words, I looked to Sheryl for a reply.

The smirk never left his face. "You can't put your full trust in the man that you love, can you?" He chortled. "I will be sure to tell him that."

Before I could curse and hurt, he shut the door in my face and locked the door. It took me a while to collect myself. After punching the door as hard as I could, I strode off the patio and broke out my wings once more. As I flew in the air, I thought of Allen, and if I was even right that it was that poor little boy who breached the 100% synchronization limit. Frowning, I felt more alone than ever.

**Ahahahahaha, and you thought that was going to be worth the wait. :3 'Ts not even over a thousand words – what the shit? D: I seriously haven't been able to write jack-shit for weeks.**


	21. The Twentyfirst Chapter

**God, does it feel good to be back! :3**

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

There were no missions to keep my mind occupied. I don't think I've ever wished to go out on a mission in my life. But I hated being alone in this damned castle. Without my friends, the walls were hollow and cold. Reever kept me the most company; I was glad that he was still around. General Cloud allowed me to play with her monkey – Lau Shimin. Lau Shimin was a small, adorable white monkey who held Innocence inside himself. Cloud was his master, and allowed him to be activated at her beckoned call. It was pretty amazing.

It was at least two days after we got word about an Exorcist succeeding the 100% synchro rate when I got the news. That day, I was in the library, floating on air, reading over _Romeo and Juliet_ again, thinking about Lavi all the while. I never lost hold of the book he gave me such a long time ago. The book itself reminded me of Lavi. Romeo and Juliet's young age reminded me of Allen and Lenalee. And all the fight scenes reminded me of Kanda. If one of them didn't come home alive, I'd…!

Just then, Reever burst through the library doors. "Karena!" he exclaimed. Immediately thinking there was danger, I slammed the book closed and gave him my full attention. There were tears in his blue eyes. Slowly, he started to smile. "They're coming home."

**| – – – – |**

The banner was ready to be held up high.

Confetti was about to be thrown.

In seconds, cheers and cries would be heard around the world.

I waited by Komui's side, bouncing in my boots anxiously for their arrival. Komui impatiently tapped his finger on his arm and his foot on the tile floor. Before me stood a large "gate" – the Ark, it was called. It was the color of an amethyst, shaped oddly like a broken shard of glass. Above it was a glowing red number. The number made me wonder if there were more like this. However, questions could wait till later. For now…

The second Allen's boot stepped through the door, shouts of joy filled the air. "Welcome home!" everyone in the Black Order screamed. Quickly, Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Miranda, Bookman, Marie, and four other men stepped through the gate. They all looked so different from when I last saw them. A wave of relief and sadness rushed through me the second I made eye-contact with Lenalee. Her legs were bandaged from her feet to her thighs and her once-beautiful hair has now been cut even shorter than Allen's, choppy and boyish.

Allen's Exorcist coat had been torn, revealing all of his left arm and shoulder. His arm had once been crimson. Now it was black, looking like it was rotting almost. Lavi had lost his jacket completely. Kanda lost his shirt completely! The tattoo on his chest got bigger somehow, with more intricate designs to add to it. Each and every one of them were bruised and battered. I almost couldn't stand seeing Allen like that.

For a moment, while everyone cheered behind me and my tears subconsciously rolled down my cheeks, all was silent in my mind. The world had slowed. If we were all to die at this second, something inside of me said that I wouldn't care, because my friends were here now. I got to see them one last time.

Finally, time sped back up to greet me when Lenalee dashed to into her brother's arms. The two held each other tightly, never wanting to let go. A grin broke across my face. The crowd cheered even louder. Feeling eyes on my back, I turned expectantly to Reever and he gave me a smile and a nod. It was like we read one another's mind. It was his urge for me to go forward. And so I did. Calling out his name, I jumped into Lavi, nearly knocking the tall boy over. He was surprised by the sudden action, but soon regained himself and held me closer. I buried my eyes in the crook of his neck and cried happy tears.

I knew how Lenalee felt in that moment – I never wanted to let Lavi go. I wanted to hug Kanda, too, but I didn't want him to push me away or lose his macho façade. Hearing Allen let out a small chuckle beside us, I pulled away from Lavi to look at him. The boy was trying his hardest not to cry, too. Pulling away fully from Lavi, I wrapped my arms around Allen. He didn't hesitate to hug back. "Welcome home, Allen…" I whispered in his silver hair.

"It's good to be back," he whispered back into my chest.

Miranda Lotto began to cry harshly and I couldn't help but laugh a bit.

It took a long time for everything to get quiet. Smiles never left anyone's face. Except Miranda, because she knew what she had to do next. The only reason my comrades were even still standing was because of her Innocence: Time Record. With her clock face fastened to her arm, Miranda had the power to control time, a very useful asset to us. Now that the Exorcists were near medical assistance, there was no need to overexert herself trying to keep them up. They were safe home now.

But she was still reluctant. Apparently their wounds were great and she didn't want to bring the pain back to them. I stood between Lavi and Allen, holding Allen's hand. Lenalee moved forward and held Miranda's hand in hers. In a gentle voice, she soothed Miranda into knowing it was okay and that they'd be fine. Sighing shakily, Miranda gulped and nodded. She placed her gloved hand over her clock. It glowed green as she said in a quivering voice, "Time Record, deactivate."

Suddenly, she collapsed to the floor. Lenalee moved forward to catch her, but soon froze in her tracks, blood trickling down her head, and she too fell. Allen was next, but I quickly caught him in my arms. Then Lavi and a chunky man who came with them fell, too. Doctors rushed forward to help the seriously injured, so I handed Allen to one of the doctors and he laid him on the stretcher, taking him away. Marie and Bookman were taken away as well, leaving the two new men, Kanda, and an older man wearing black and gold. This was Kanda's master, General Tiedoll, I knew.

Tangling my fingers in my hair, I released the air I'd been holding. General Tiedoll gave me a smile and held out his hand to me. "Hello, miss. I don't believe we've met. I'm Froi Tiedoll." I returned his smile and introduced myself as well. Turning, I shook hands with the two new men – Kie and Maosa. They informed me that they came here with their friend, Chaoji Han, who was just taken away. They came from China, and it turns out that Chaoji is an Exorcist, so Kie and Maosa will be staying to be Finders.

A new Exorcist! Yes! As I was telling them how glad I was to have them on the team, Kanda turned with Tiedoll and walked in Marie's direction. Hearing Kanda start to leave, I spun around and sped up after him, touching his shoulder. "Wait, Kanda." He shifted his steely gaze at my hand on his shoulder, and I immediately took my hand back.

"What?" he asked quietly but sharply.

I studied his perfect body cut and bruised and my throat went tight. I didn't want to cry in front of him; I wanted to show him how much I'd grown since he'd left. But in reality, I think I've gotten weaker than stronger since I last saw him. "W-welcome home, Kanda…" I squeaked, fearing the tears welling in my eyes.

The raven-haired boy stared long and hard at me before finally brushing it off with a, "Hmph." He turned and walked with Tiedoll back to Noise. I smiled and wiped my eye. Same old Kanda. The war hasn't changed him yet.

…

Later, when everyone was situated once again, I decided to visit Lenalee in the infirmary. After I visited her, I'd go see Allen. I had a lot of questions I needed to ask; I wanted to know what happened over there in Edo. I needed to find out if Tyki was anywhere near them. If Tyki hurt any one of them like I thought, I would fly right out of the Order and kick his ass. However, when I walked into the girl's infirmary room, Komui was bawling all over Lenalee's bed, soaking the sheets.

He was sobbing comically as the Matron attempted to drag him out of the room – to no avail. He wasn't going to leave his precious Lenalee's side. Seeing her hair so short brought more questions to mind. Lenalee would never cut that beautiful silky hair of hers, at least not that short. Could Tyki have done that to her? I remember how it was only the males that Tyki had taken organs from – Sol, Tina, and Gwen were left untouched. He wouldn't really cut her hair, would he?

The images of him grabbing her by the hair tightly and cutting it to get to her gave me chills.

I decided to leave Miranda and Lenalee to Komui's tantrum and go visit Allen instead. The boy's infirmary room was just across the hall, and even from outside of the door I heard the ruckus! Carefully opening the wooden door, I walked straight into the chaos. Arystar lay in the corner, unconscious and unable to quiet his loudly growling stomach, which was disturbing everybody. Kie, Maosa, and Chaoji sat together laughing at something that was said. I had to dodge flying equipment as Kanda threw a tantrum all over the place. Amazingly, Bookman slept through all of this!

When I turned to my right, I saw Allen's blanket pulled back. He was nowhere in sight, but his bed was piled with food – and I am not kidding when I say piled. Noise and General Tiedoll tried to calm Kanda, but that didn't work at all. When I finally looked to my right, I saw Lavi lying in bed with the pillow over his head, whining loudly. I laughed and sat on his bed. "You okay?" I asked.

Somehow he heard me over all the noise and shot up in bed. "Oh, Karena, I'm so glad you're here! Please save me!" he exclaimed, crying fake tears, which made me laugh even more. I petted his hair and told him that I would take him to the cafeteria to get something to eat and he clung to me like a little child.

Sneaking past the nurse who was trying to get Kanda to lie back down, we then hurried down the hall toward the cafeteria. "Where did Allen go?" I asked once the coast was clear.

Lavi shrugged. "I dunno. He must have snuck out during all the tumult."

We entered the cafeteria and the conversation ceased until we ordered our food. Munching down on a large hamburger, I asked with my mouth full, "I was hoping to see how he was doing, make sure he was okay." I swallowed. "I want to know everything that happened to you guys."

He didn't meet my eyes, just picked at his _yakiniku. _I frowned. "What's wrong, Lavi?" I asked softly.

Suddenly, he snapped out of it and gave me a smile. "Ah, it's nothing. Maybe I'll tell you some other time." He shrugged again. "It was really tough, I'll tell you that."

I dared to touch his hand. "I'm sorry you guys had to go through that…" I whispered. "I asked Komui to let me go in Allen's place, but…I'm sorry." I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

His gentle finger wiped away a tear I didn't even know was there. "It's okay, Karena. I wouldn't want you there anyway. I dunno if you'd have made it. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

I smiled and let out a small chortle, wiping away another stray tear. "Yeah, I guess not. I'm just glad you guys are home." After that, it was quiet for a long time. We ate in silence. Lavi was probably thinking about all the things saw on that battlefield. Finally a question came to mind: "So, where is that general you were trying to find? General Cross? I kinda want to meet him."

Lavi looked up in thought. "I think he's in his old room, though" – he grinned – "General Cross isn't exactly the type of person I'd show a woman to."

"Why not?" I blinked.

"Well, he's a bit of a lothario…"

I paused. "In English?"

He laughed. "You'll see for yourself," he said.

But after I met General Cross Marian, my life was flip-turned upside down once more.


	22. The Twentysecond Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

The next day, Allen came back from wherever he went. No one knew where the little guy had run off to. When I saw him alone, I thought now was the best time to ask him the details. "Allen!" I called out to him, hurrying up to the short boy. He turned and gave me a smile. But just the sight of his adorable face made me slow in my tracks. Lavi had a hard time remembering what happened; who was I to constantly remind Allen of the things he saw? "I…um…" I trailed off.

Allen frowned and tilted his head in confusion. "What's the matter?"

I started to drown in the silvery pools of his eyes. A pain clenched my heart. I placed my hand on his hair, stroking it down. I would find out the details, but one person at a time. Allen would not be one of them. "Nothing."

…

Later that day, I sat beside Lenalee as we ate lunch with Allen, Lavi, and Miranda. Poor Arystar was still unconscious: I guess he got in a brutal battle with two Noah. So I was right…The Noah did attack them in Japan. So far, I was only told of these two Noah, Jasdero and Debitto who formed as one person called Jasdebi. More strange powers. I questioned what the Noah _couldn't_ do!

That was the only information I needed about the battle today, so we let the topic drop and continued to eat. It should have been peaceful that afternoon, despite all the thoughts running through my mind. Sadly, Exorcists never get breaks – which was made obvious by a young man approaching our table with a delectable-looking pie in his hands. He wore a crimson suit, had braided blond hair, sharp blue eyes, and two bindi-like dots on his forehead.

"Hello," he said tightly as we all stared at him, suspicious and confused. "My name is Howard Link. I will be keeping an eye on you, Allen Walker. So, as an offering of peace, I have made you a pie."

"Okay, cool!" Allen exclaimed, already digging into the pie before Lavi grabbed his arm to stop him. I narrowed my eyes at Howard, suddenly defensive over Allen. What has Allen done that he needs someone to watch over him? He's a strong Exorcist and a brave boy. If he faced the Noah, he should be fine on his own without a hawk behind his every move. And if he does need a keeper, I would happily do it for him.

Outraged, Lenalee stood and strode off to find Komui and demand an explanation. I felt like going after her to Komui, too, but instead I stayed by Allen's side. "And…who brought you here, Mr. Link?" I asked cautiously.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "That's classified, miss Karena."

I was shocked. "How do you know my name?" I snapped.

A light smirk touched his face. "I have my ways," he said slyly. "Now. Allen Walker, would you do me the honors of helping me deliver some paperwork?"

Allen frowned a bit, but shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Allen…" I warned under my breath.

But the boy just gave me his signature smile. "It's okay, Karena, really." He held up his hand as a gesture of telling me to stay, then headed off with Link. It was agonizing for me to watch them together so easily. I stood to go after him, but Lavi stopped me.

"Don't do it, Karena." I turned to him with incredulous eyes. "If he was going to hurt Allen, he wouldn't even have gotten passed the front gate." I frowned, knowing he was right, but still not trusting this Howard Link person. Finally, after not being able to come up with an argument, I scoffed and strode out of the cafeteria. "Karena, where are you going?" Lavi called after me.

"I'm going to train!" I shouted back.

I knew Kanda would be in there, and since it had been far too long since I last sparred with him, this would be just the ticket to release some steam. When I entered the third floor, I could hear Kanda punching the soft padding on Marie's hands. I imagine they'd train together a lot since they're on the same team under General Tiedoll. I stepped into the room they were in and leaned against the doorframe.

Marie heard me first and lifted his head to where I was standing to show Kanda someone was there. The Japanese boy turned to give me his signature glare. Boy, it was nice to have him back! I grinned and unzipped my jacket, approaching them. "Mind if I cut in, boys?" I asked smoothly. Kanda is only a year younger than me and Marie is actually ten years older than me, but it makes me happy to call them boys, makes me feel stronger for some reason.

Marie smiled and stepped aside, and Kanda smirked as I faced him unarmed. "Where's your staff?"

"We're not going to use them this time, Yu. Come at me." I purposefully used his first name to get him fired up. Then, without warning, he did exactly as I asked and dashed forward at me. He faked right, sending me straight into his other fist. I stumbled back, and then swiftly swiped at his head. But Kanda is faster than me and leaned away from my fist.

The match went on for several minutes, not equally matched, but getting there. Finally, after Kanda had knocked me on my ass for the fifth time, I sat up and wiped my lip free of blood. He hid his breaths skillfully and dared not break a sweat. I wished that I could be as collected him. We stayed where we were for a while, doing nothing but staring at one another. I think he understood my envy, but said nothing. Hearing – and probably feeling – the tense silence, Marie stepped forward, listening to my panting, and offered me his hand. I accepted and thanked him. "You two can carry on," I said stepping away and leaning against the wall.

"Are you sure?" Marie asked, tilting his head.

I nodded and gestured for them to move on. Marie shrugged and put on the padding, then faced Kanda and allowed him to be beat at. I didn't understand how Kanda did it – how he was so strong. He wore a skin-tight dark purple shirt and black pants. Even though they just got home two days ago, there wasn't a scratch on his body. Was he even human? He had to be. He couldn't be a Noah, could he?

I smiled to myself and shook my head. There was no way possible Yu Kanda could be a Noah. He would have been discovered by now. So how did he do it? How did he heal himself so quickly? I stood by and watched the whole time Kanda trained, lost in thought, losing all sense of time as I gazed upon every muscle he moved. From time to time, his onyx eyes would flicker to me. He probably thought I was weird, like the first day we met.

Outside the Order, you could hear thunder crash. It was raining hard – that was obvious. But there were no windows in the training room, so there was really nothing else to occupy my eyes other than the two men before me. It was around evening, I guesstimated, by the time they decided to take a break. Marie dismissed himself and headed out to get a bite to eat at the cafeteria before they trained again. It was only when he walked out that my stomach began to growl. Yeah, I guess it was about time for dinner, I thought with a shrugged.

Trying not make my glance at Kanda obvious, I started out of the room. He waited until I was in the doorway until he called out to me: "What is it that you're so damn anxious to ask me, girl?"

I paused in the frame. I didn't turn to face him as I contemplated actually asking him. No point in delaying it when he brought it up, so finally I asked him, "Did you face a Noah, too, Kanda?"

He didn't hesitate like Lavi did. "Yes."

"How many?"

He crossed his arms behind me. "More than one," he said vaguely.

"Do you know their names?"

"Skinn Bolic was one of them."

"And the others?" I pressed, getting angry at him for such simple answers.

"I don't know his name. He had wavy hair and a mole under his eye."

My heart practically stopped. It was Tyki. Tyki did confront them. And he hurt them. He hurt my friends. The same bastard who had taken my virginity, lured me into trusting him, and made me fall in love with him _hurt_ my friends. My hand gripped the square frame of the door-less exit.

"Did you kill him?" I asked hoarsely, mouth suddenly dry. I felt weak with anticipation. If Kanda were to say yes, I fear I'd faint. Hell, if he said no, I might faint, too!

However, with suspicion laced in his voice, he said, "No, I didn't kill him. But I don't know if the beansprout did." Beansprout was Kanda's nickname for Allen, which didn't make me feel any better at all.

I lost my voice. The "That's all I wanted to know," was uttered under a whisper. I'm not even sure Kanda heard me, but I didn't care. I was ready to go straight to Sheryl's mansion to face Tyki. I didn't know if I would kill him or hold him when I saw him, but I would do something to him. Only one step was taken from me – two from Kanda coming after me – when golems came into view, flashing red on their round screens.

"Attention all Exorcists," a female voice rushed through the speaker, "the Order is under attack by the Noah. All active Exorcists are to report to the science section and assist in the battle."

Noah!

Could it be Tyki there, fighting against Allen and the others? Exchanging a glance, Kanda and I ran out of the room. He grabbed two swords from a vase and strapped them on to his belt. "Kanda, where's Mugen?" I called to him over the chaos of fleeing and screaming crowds. Mugen is the name of Kanda's Innocence – a katana.

"It broke when I was fighting the Noah," he replied. "Lavi's hammer was destroyed as well; they're both being fixed by Hevlaska."

I had seen Lavi in battle before. His Innocence was a hammer that was small, but could grow to sizes as big as Sheryl's house. How did Kanda and Lavi expect to fight under these circumstances? With no Innocence, there was no way they could fight off the Noah.

When there came a fork in the path, I gave Kanda a stern look. "I'm going to the science division to help fight the Noah. Stay out and help everyone else evacuate." I resisted the urge to tell him I loved him, kiss him, or anything else stupid. Being without Tyki must be getting to me. So, spreading my wings to fly over the crowd straight to the science department, I took off with only one last glance at Kanda, whom I admired so much.


	23. The Twentythird Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

I made it just in time, when I entered the science division, to grab Allen and roll out of the way of an attacking Akuma. Allen's left arm was gone, but he wasn't bleeding at all. In his right hand, he held a large sword and wore a flowing white cape. "Allen!" I exclaimed. "What happened to your arm?"

I stood and helped him up to his feet. He never took his eyes off the Akuma creature. "Don't worry, Karena," he said bravely, "this sword is my arm; it's my new Innocence."

The creature stood tall on two legs, unlike the Akuma I've seen who – at Level One – look like round, floating cannons and – at Level Two – take the form of large, misshapen, metal animals. This creature before me, and more flying all around, resembled thin, skeletal men in a full suit of armor. The two of us faced it as I asked, "So, what are these things?"

"Level Three Akuma," Allen answered.

I didn't know until now that Akuma grew passed Level Two because I'd never seen one. Cyclones whirled around my hands, allowing me to thrust them at the Akuma. It was taken back at the sudden lashing wind, was engulfed in the whirlwind, and soon exploded. On higher levels of the large room, Bookman was fighting the Akuma with his never ending supply of Innocence needles. Were the three of us the only Exorcists here, fighting off the never-ending hoard of Akuma? Allen and I went straight to work on stopping the demons.

They were flying out of a large black gate – another Ark! A beautiful woman with black hair, gold eyes, and the gray skin of a Noah stood by the Ark, searching around the room. In the center of the room stood a giant, sparkling, blue egg, hoisted up by gold beams. As Allen fought some ways away from me, I continued my battle as I shouted to him, questioning the presence of the giant egg. To my surprise, I was informed that this was the egg the Millennium Earl used to create Akuma.

Lined on the floor were scientists, bloodied and injured, being poked and prodded at by fat men wearing skull masks and dark brown coats. "Hey!" I shouted, swiping wind at one, which merely sent him flying at the wall. The scientists still conscious smiled at me. Tapp Dopp was among the unconscious men, but I couldn't find Reever or Johnny anywhere. "Where's Reever?" I shouted to one of the men.

"I-I don't know!" he said back. I grit my teeth in anger. Reever better not be dead!

Several minutes passed as Allen, Bookman, and I tried our hardest to protect the egg from Akuma. The Akuma just weren't letting up. I was bruised and battered by the time I realized that the Noah woman was stealing the egg through an Ark she created on the floor. "Lulubell!" Allen screamed her name as he dove for the egg. He grabbed onto the beams and he attempted to pull the egg back up. It was pointless; we would lose the egg for sure!

But just as soon as I thought that, a gold ring appeared around Allen and spun around him. Miranda's gentle voice came from nowhere. "Time Record – reverse!" Suddenly, the egg was brought upwards and floated above the gate. Bookman and I stared in wonder. Then, as if they fell from the sky, they appeared: Marie held Miranda on his shoulder; General Cloud stood in a purple shirt and white jeans with Lau Shimin on her shoulder; General Tiedoll wore pure white robes, and adjusted his red-rimmed glasses; General Sokalo sat on the egg with an extremely long double-edged sword, laughing; and then there was a tall, attractive man with long red hair, half a mask, glasses, smoking a cigarette, and dressed in a nice black coat and jeans. I could only assume that this was General Cross Marian.

I grinned in delight. The generals were here to help! General Sokalo removed his metal helmet, revealing tan skin, sharpened teeth, and wild eyes. He made it very clear that he was ready to kill some Akuma. A large shadow loomed overhead, and upon making eye-contact with the item in question, I let out a brief scream and stumbled back. The Level Three had formed together to make an even bigger Akuma creature, with a lanky black body and a huge white, grinning face and red eyes. It was so large, it had to crouch to fit in the room.

I made out there to be at least five of them. The room was wide enough to fit all of them and all of us, but I still felt trapped. Thankfully, I didn't have to fight any of them. With a simple strike, General Sokalo took care of two. General Cross brought out a silver pistol and shot three. But just as more came, Lau Shimin grew practically as large as them and took them out with ease. Bringing out a large chisel, General Tiedoll slammed pick and chisel together and sprouted a beautiful garden barrier around the injured scientists.

Through yet another gate, the skull men – had they'd grown in number? – attempted to escape. More of the giant Akuma came and so did Level Threes. The generals took care of the giant Akuma and Bookman, Allen, and I took down most of the Level Threes. As I finished off two Level Three, I felt a presence behind me. Before I could turn, two Level Three grabbed my arms from behind and held me still as the third Level Three loaded up the gun in its hand. I knew I could take the bullet, even if it hurt, so I just braced myself for the pain.

But before the virus could hit, bullet shots rang through the air and the Akuma exploded beside me. A shard of the armor cut my cheek, made me bleed. Blinking twice, I turned around and floated down to the floor to come face to face with…General…Cross Marian. My eyes widened at the sight of him, now that I got a good look at him. I couldn't believe it; I couldn't believe who he was. I wanted to speak to him, but my mouth was slower than my thoughts and I could only stutter and trip on my words.

Not understanding me at all, the man only winked and grinned, the cigarette still between his teeth. "No thanks needed, sweetheart," he said, then turned away and continued on his work. Cross was no longer attractive in my eyes. Normally, I'd blush if an attractive man called me sweetheart, but in this case, I was both disgusted and flattered.

Trying to shake away all thoughts, I looked around the large room. Smoke spread across the floor from all the explosions. The giant Akuma that didn't explode all the way lie in corpses scattered around the place. I exhaled deeply and leaned against the wall, coughing to clear my throat of smoke. The Noah Lulubell had disappeared; could she still be in the Order? Or maybe she went into the Ark she made. Either way, I was exhausted and hit my head against the wall.

I saw Allen scanning the entire area. When his eyes widen, I followed his direction where most of the smoke was coming from. Without a word to one another, we jumped to that location, landing protectively in front of Johnny Gill, who lay on the floor on his stomach, bleeding and hurt. But Johnny was the least of my problems. Blood spilled all over the floor, threatening anyone who ran on it to slip and fall. Scientists' bodies were lying lifelessly in the blood. Closest to Allen and me was a thin blond man wearing a white jacket, black shirt and pants. I'd never even seen him before. Perhaps he was the Asia Branch's chief that I heard came through our Ark to study the Ark?

He wasn't moving. Blood trickled from his lips. There was…just so much blood…I started to tremble in fear, feeling queasy at all the death around me. There was a stale smell in the air; the smoke overwhelming my senses. Some distance from me, I saw him: lying on his side without his lab coat.

"_Reever!" _I screamed, startling Allen. Without any hesitation, I sprinted in a b-line to him. The blood splashed under my boots, staining my white pants; staining them even more as I slid on my knees to land at Reever's side. He was a bit heavy, but the adrenaline coursing through me was ignorant to that fact. I cradled him in my arms and shook him roughly. "Reever! Reever, please! Reever, wake up!"

But he wouldn't wake up. The side of his head was bleeding and he was badly hurt. "Oh, God, Reever, please don't die," I begged, my voice cracking. He had a pulse, but he just wouldn't wake up! Suddenly, an unearthly giggle broke through the thick air. Allen gasped and I picked up my head only to see a strange creature, floating just a ways away from us. It was all white except for the large black star on its pot-belly. It had the facial features of a tired man, but the voice of a small child. There was a glowing halo above its oddly shaped head and four wings on its back.

Tears began to stream down Allen's cheeks. He fell on one knee and threw up his dinner, making me jump. "Allen? Are you all right?" I called to him in a hoarse voice. He didn't reply. The demon glided over to him.

"Are you all right?" it asked almost sweetly.

It took a few moments for Allen to regain himself. He stood shakily on his feet and nodded. "Yes. I am. And now I'm going to destroy you, to free your soul." Finding his strength once more, the white-haired boy suddenly dashed forward and began swiping at the Akuma with the intent to kill. I didn't want to leave Reever behind, but I couldn't let Allen fight the thing by himself.

"Allen, wait!" I called after him.

"Stay there, Karena!" he warned me in a voice I never heard him use before. It was clear that he meant business. What else could I do but sit there in blood and watch him try unsuccessfully to kill the Akuma.

Soon, Bookman came running to my location with Noise carrying Miranda not far from him. Where the generals were, I had no idea. Bookman, being a skilled healer, knelt in the blood by the blond man's side. Marie stood beside me. "Karena, are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, I'm fine, but Reever's hurt." He couldn't see the pained expression on my face, but maybe he heard my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't watch Bookman work on healing the blond man, with Reever dying in my arms, my eyes were glued to Allen's useless battle. The Akuma didn't fight back for some reason, but Allen didn't stop in his bombarding.

"That's a Level Four Akuma," Bookman said quietly.

I started, whipping my head to him. "A Level Four?" I shouted. "How high do the levels go, damn it?"

The elderly man didn't answer. We continued to watch in confusion until out of the blue, the Akuma fought back! It maneuvered swiftly; I almost couldn't keep up with it all. Then, the tables were turned when the Akuma disappeared then reappeared behind Allen. Its middle finger and thumb came together close to his forehead and glowed brightly before he flicked – sending Allen flying to the second floor, crashing against the wall.

"_Allen!"_ I screamed, tears stinging my eyes. There was no way to tell if that blow was fatal or not, but I was sure he had to have lost consciousness at least. Quickly but gently, I set Reever down and bolted to my feet. But just as I did, the Akuma let out a high-pitched screech.

The second the sound reached my ears, barbwires wrapped around my brain and squeezed. I screamed and tried to cover my ears to block out the sound, but it was impossible! It had the same effect on everyone else, too. The pain forced me to my knees as I clutched my head tightly. A warm liquid dripped from my ears onto my gloved palms. "Make it stop!" I cried out to anyone able.

And stop it did. Only in exchange for the entire floor of the science division to give way. The bright light grew larger, dismantling the hard floor like nothing. The generals went down first, then Tiedoll and Bookman, and finally when the light came to me, I lost it.

I lost control of myself.

I wasn't going to die here – I wouldn't.

And I wouldn't let my friends die either.

Cross Marian would not be out of my grasp anymore.

"Innocence, activate – level two!"

The words came on their own. The last thing I saw were the shadow of wings spreading to great lengths.

And then black fire engulfed me completely.


	24. The Twentyfourth Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

_I couldn't – couldn't see anything. _

_Couldn't smell, taste, or hear anything either._

_But I could irrefutably feel the pain of flames licking at my skin. Mostly my on my back. Singing my wings. Running up my long red hair. Where was I that I was left to fight the fires? This can't be Hell, can it? What have I done wrong? You know – besides kill my father and betray my family by sleeping with our enemy. Is that all it took to send me straight into the Pit of Fire? _

_That isn't very fair; I still had so much to live for. I could have killed Tyki. I could have finally spoken to Cross Marian after searching for him all these years. I could have fallen in love with one of the boys of the Order and started myself anew: no more betrayals for Karena. But, no. That Akuma set fire to everything, and this is my punishment. I'm dead because I am a sinner and I don't deserve to hold Cross in my embrace. _

_Suddenly, there's a bright light at the end of a long tunnel. Miranda Lotto's voice is distant, but she's calling to me. I can feel someone's hands on me and soon the fires are gone, but the pain still remains. In the tunnel, I run as quickly as I can toward Miranda's voice in the light, but the farther I get, the further the light seems. It takes me too long to finally reach the end, and when I get there, the doorway of light closes and I'm trapped in the darkness._

"_No!" I scream, pounding on the nothing. "Let me out of here, please! Miranda!"_

_But no reply comes. I'm alone in the darkness. Fear creeps up on me and I look around the area for anyone, anything. But there's nothing: just me and dark outstretched wings. I'm vulnerable in the darkness – anything can hurt me in here. Demons, Akuma, thieves, murderers – all nightmares creep up on me. _

_Something cold and wet splashes against my wings and I scream, spinning around and swiping at the air. My wings fold in themselves like a frightened dog pulls in its tail. Vision starts to come back, but everything is so blurry, like I'm looking through a raincloud. Level Three Akuma are approaching me cautiously. Their mouths are moving, but there are no words coming out. I can only assume they're making a monologue to me about what they're going to do._

_My wings are too wet, I can't fly away. I back away, begging them to stay away from me. Suddenly fire blazes up behind me, blocking me from moving any further. Still, the Akuma won't back off. They're going to kill me if I don't do something! "Stay back!" I scream at them, lashing out a strong gust of wind at them. They fall back, but don't die._

_There are even more now than I remember. My gray surroundings look like the science lab, but there are no more people; Akuma have taken their place. The Akuma keep a safe distance from me, whispering to one another inaudible words. I tried to move away from the fires behind me, but the flames wouldn't leave my back and my legs. After a few moments, a scarlet-colored Level Four Akuma began to approach me with raised hands. Its speech was…garbled; I couldn't make out a thing it was saying. Biting my lip, my eyes frantically searched around the room for any Exorcist that would help me. Help me!_

_This red Level Four was getting too close for comfort. Attempting to bring order my world, I threw another blast of wind, knocking the demon several feet away from me. It landed on the floor and cried out. Agh, why wouldn't any of them die? I wouldn't make it here; if I wasn't dead before, I'm going to die now. With the fire at my heels and the Akuma taking me from the front, I-I-I…I can't handle this! I might as well let this blue Level Four in front of me kill me now._

_Whatever lies in store for me in the afterlife, I'm ready to take. For a few seconds, I stand before the blue Level Four, breathless. But it just stands there with its red eyes, staring at me. Until-_

_Slap!_

My head whips to the side. I blink once…twice…by the third blink, my vision has cleared. The science lab in ruined, but what I thought were Akuma were really my comrades, trying to help me. The blue Level Four isn't a Level Four at all, it's Kanda. And the red Akuma was…Lavi! I took one step forward before I collapsed into Kanda's strong arms. My wings disappeared in green sparkles behind me.

Kanda was hurt, but he still had the strength to hold me upright. He smelled…so sweet. My eyes felt heavy, sleep was inviting, his arms became the softest pillows on Earth. And I slept.

**| – – – – |**

With my awakening, the pain returned in my back. I was sore all over, but the burns on my back hurt the most. I grit my teeth against the pain and lolled my head to the side. Startling me was Lavi sitting by my bedside. When our eyes locked, he smiled. I let out a weak chuckle. Lavi was fine. Everyone was fine. And I was alive.

"Now where have I seen this sight before?" I asked him. "I seem to recall waking up to that cute face of yours when after Master died. Why is it it's always you I get to wake up to after a tragedy?"

"'Cause you love me most?" he guessed, earning a small laugh from me, cut short by the pain in my back.

"Ha. I guess you're right. Where is Allen?"

"He's catching up on his rest in the men's infirmary."

"Did he…defeat the Level Four?"

To my relief, he nodded. "Yes. He, Lenalee, and General Cross teamed up together and finally killed the bastard."

"And you?" I asked, touching his fiery hair. "How did you get so beat up? Kanda, too."

He gently touched my hand. "Don't you know? Even without Innocence, Yu and I helped stall the Akuma for Allen and Lenalee."

"That was very brave of you, Lavi," I said, because I genuinely meant it.

"Nah; I'm just doing my job, killing Akuma. You, on the other hand, you saved many people today."

"Huh? What do you mean?" I could hardly remember the hours before now. From the moment I activated my Innocence to the second level, everything starts getting hazy.

"When that Level Four destroyed the first floor of Lab Five, your wings spread to enormous sizes. You shielded the Generals to the very end. Even when Miranda came to and put a protective barrier around them in her Time Out, you made sure that they were protected if she were to overexert herself."

Is that what happened? Is that why I was taking the flames head-on? I don't remember using my wings as an armor against the fire; I just…spread my wings instinctively.

"However," Lavi's voice interrupted my thought, bringing my wandering eyes back to him, "that last resort defense of yours was unstable. Even when the fires were put out and everyone was safe, you attacked us. When I tried to calm you down myself, you kinda…" He trailed off.

It all came back to me; I remembered what I did. Lavi was the red Level Four that I threw to the ground. "Oh, my God, Lavi, I-I'm so sorry," I stammered. "I didn't know what was going on; you all looked like Akuma to me. I thought I was going insane…" I brought my hand away from his and touched my head. I _was_ still sane, right?

"Don't worry about it," Lavi assured me with the wave of a hand. "Yu snapped you out of it when he hit you." That would explain why my cheek faintly stung.

I sighed deeply. "So, what's the Order going to do now? Is there any way to fix the damage the Akuma have done?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. Everyone's packing right now. We're going to move our location. The Noah know where we are, and it's not safe."

Move the Black Order? I don't think the Black Order's been relocated since it first started over hundreds of years ago. At that, I attempted to sit up. "I should…be helping them move, then."

But Lavi grabbed my shoulder. "You're not well enough, Karena. The burns you took are pretty bad."

"But, Lavi…!"

He stopped me by gently laying me down on my back again. "I won't stand for it. I'll go help in your place. For now, you try to get some more rest until you feel better." He was almost reluctant to leave me, but after a moment's hesitation, the red-haired Exorcist boy exited the room, leaving me to my lonesome self and my relentless thoughts.

I saved them? I couldn't believe it. That means that Cross and Reever are okay. I should sneak out and see them: make sure Reever is okay and check on Allen's condition. Honestly, I kind of wanted to delay my meeting with Cross as long as possible. After so many years feeling family-less, I had found my dear uncle Cross. Does he remember me? Does he even realize that I'm the spawn of his very own brother? Perhaps he even knew what happened that night when my father tried to kill me?

I hated the fact that my memory is bad. Dad had been sick for three days straight. He would disappear in the middle of the night and then come home late in the same condition. He just wouldn't get better. Until that day that he gave me Cross's picture and told me to find him. I distinctly remember a gun pointed to my head. But then a flash of light erases whatever memory is supposed to go there.

I couldn't lie here all day, doing nothing while my friends and comrades worked so hard. If I couldn't work, I would still be active. For now, I had three options: visit Allen, meet up with Cross, or find Tyki. Allen was first, that was for sure. Carefully, I sat up in bed, sending pangs of pain through my body. My boots were on the floor and my jacket hung on a coatrack. It was only until now that I noticed they took the liberty of washing my pants, then slipping them back on me, clean as a whistle.

It took a while to finally get my boots on, passed the stinging burns on my calves. I slipped on my jacket in front of a mirror. Only now I realized how short my hair had been burnt. Not as short as Lenalee's, but the red locks that once waved down my back now stopped short at my shoulders. Sighing deeply at the sight of my hair, I wondered what shape my wings were in. If I spread them, would they be the giant size Lavi said they were? Only one way to find out.

Taking a few steps back to a place in the room where I couldn't knock anything over, I reluctantly willed my wings out. Thankfully, nothing was knocked over and my wings had returned to their normal size. But…something was off. Before the attack, my wings had been as white as a swan's. Now the color had darkened to an ugly gray. Like a pigeon. Some of the feathers had been burnt off, but they're growing back a slow, easy pace. Did they change because my Innocence was activated to the second level?

Frowning, I brought them back into place and poked my head out of the infirmary. No one noticed me: they were all so busy trying to pack up all their belongings. With thirteen floors on the castle, it would take a long time to get every single thing together, even with all the people that lived here. I'd be sad to leave the palace after living here for four years. Hopefully, we would move to somewhere even more magnificent.

The next rooms were just across from me. Looking both ways before crossing, I strode over there, every step I took bringing pain. But when I was finally in the room, I found no one but Arystar, still unconscious no matter what the Order had been through. I smiled and shook my head at him, though I was disappointed not to find Allen in a resting bed, too. So, now I was back to my two other options: Tyki or Cross.

Finding Tyki may bring upon a fight that I'm in no shape for. Finding Cross may bring upon a break down I'm not ready for. What if he wanted nothing to do with me? I should go find Tyki first. No, what if I die before I get a chance to talk to my uncle? Ooh! I was getting nowhere just standing here! Forcing myself to believe that Tyki still loved me and that I should trust him, I braced myself for the worst and walked out of the room. Finding the nearest window, I opened it and welcomed the clear air.

It suddenly felt very stuffy and claustrophobic in the Black Order, and I needed to find the love of my life _now._ Two Finders noticed me bring out my wings and step onto the windowsill. Though they tried to stop me, I didn't listen and flew out into the night. Just how late was it anyway? The sky was thick and black with threatening clouds. I hoped that it didn't rain on the way to Sheryl Kamelot's mansion. I was like a bird: wet my wings and I was down for the count until they dried. My ability to control wind wouldn't change, but it'd take a lot more time and effort to get to my location if I was soaked.

I missed the feeling of the cold wind on my face. Flying gave my aching feet a break, which I was grateful for. However, using my wings brought the pain flaring back to my back. I would just have to dish it out until…

…I found Tyki at a mansion that wasn't even Sheryl's. I only noticed the party because of the bright lights and all the people heading inside. Obviously it couldn't be that late. The whole scene made me suspicious: I had to check it out. Swooping down, I landed in the large backyard, startling many partygoers. Ignoring them, I made my wings disappear and made my way inside. I had a hard time resisting the urge to mutter, "Ow," every time I took a step.

It wasn't until I was actually inside the parlor that I realized that I stuck out like a sore thumb. The whole gala was brightly festive – all the women dressed in lightly colored gowns, all the men wore nice suits. With bright red hair and a black and white uniform, someone was sure to notice me and then I'd be kicked out for sure. It was best to stick to the shadows. Sidling against the walls, I edged my way over to the corner of the stairs were a potted plant stood high. Carefully slipping behind it, I crouched low. My eyes scanned the ballroom through the leaves, seeing no trace of Tyki Mikk anywhere.

I bit my lip against the pain of flexing my calf muscles. Oh, what was I doing here? Look at me! I was in someone else's home, playing ninja behind a plant, hurting myself for the sake of plotting to kill my boyfriend. With a deplorable sigh, I stood and shakily and headed straight for the door. Snaking my way through the crowd, I got an awful lot of stares. Still, there was no sign of Tyki anywhere. I had to laugh at myself for being so foolish.

Outside, the greeter gave me a strange look. I held up a hand to him. "Sorry," I said hastily. I had to get back to the Order; I was too exhausted to go out looking for him now. Not caring who saw, I broke out my wings and shot up in the air. I floated by a balcony for a few moments before understanding that east was the way home. But then, without warning, a girl's scream broke through the air. It was quickly muffled by a hand.

It was coming from the room to my right that the balcony led to!

For the sake of being a hero, I drifted to the awning and landed softly. From here, I could hear the girl trying to scream screams of pain. But from down on the floor or in the ballroom, no one would be able to hear her through all the music and chatter. Crawling to the edge of the outstretched roof, I peeked inside the room. Hopefully in the dark, whoever was in the room wouldn't see me.

They may not have seen me, but I clearly saw them. Inside the bedroom, the lamp had been thrown to the ground; shattered glass littered the bloodstained carpet. At the foot of the bed stood the one and only Sheryl Kamelot, clutching a naked woman by her throat. All her limbs dangled from her broken body. She was bleeding badly where her bones jutted from her skin. If I didn't look away quickly, I would have lost my dinner. Tearing my eyes away from her wasn't very effective. Looking away from her brought my eyes to the bed – or, more specifically, who was in the bed.

It was Tyki. His skin had become darker, tanner, and his hair had grown extremely long, draping down his back in a ponytail. If I didn't memorize every curve of his body, I wouldn't have recognized him. But from where I sat, I could make out the little mole under his eye, his dark eyes, and perfect muscles. He was naked underneath the blanket, just sitting there, watching Sheryl destroy the woman slowly with a bored expression. How could he just sit there and watch this?

It didn't take much for me to put two and two together, placing the scene just as it was. Tyki had slept with this woman just to get her vulnerable enough not to fight back when Sheryl came in and tortured her.

Knowing this, I didn't know what made me sicker: Watching Sheryl kill her slowly or discovering that Tyki slept with another woman.


	25. The Twentyfifth Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

I sat on the roof, knees to my chest, hands clamped over my ears, though the cracks of bones penetrated through my palms. Finally, it stopped and I dared to remove my hands, listening intently.

From inside the room, a door opened. There was a thud and the door closed again. Sheryl's voice came loud and clear, no emotion to be detected: "That felt nice. You might want to get dressed quickly, Brother. I'll inform the Earl, and then we must leave quickly."

Tyki sighed deeply. "Right…" he said. Another door opened and closed, and then it was silent inside the room. Tyki was finally alone. I flipped down onto the balcony and watched as Tyki stood, pulling on his boxers. He paused when he noticed my winged shadow behind him, standing in the doorway. The beautiful man looked over his shoulder, cigarette in his mouth. The moment our eyes met, he let out a small gasp.

When he turned to face me, I saw his chest – the scars that marred the right side of his body. There was a cross-shaped scar across his perfect torso. At the sight of it, I thought of Allen, but quickly shook that thought away. For a long while, neither of us said a word, just stared into the other's eyes. I was trembling with rage, giving him a full glare. Could he see how close to tears I was? I wasn't going to cry because I was heartbroken. I wasn't going to cry because I was secretly happy to see him again. I was going to cry because anger overwhelmed my whole being. Tyki seemed to be lost for words, torn between pulling me into an embrace and walking right out that door behind his brother in fear of what I was going to do with him.

I folded in my wings and stood firm. Finally he exhaled the smoke of his cigarette and put it out on the nightstand beside him. He shifted his dark eyes to me and studied everything about me as if it was the first time he's seen me in years. It might as well be years for how long he's been gone.

"Oh, Karena…" he finally whispered, making his way over to me.

When he was close enough that I could kick him, I shouted, "Don't come any closer!" He immediately stopped in his tracks. Blood stains on the carpet led to the closet where Sheryl no doubt tossed the body. My fists were clenched so tight, my nails were stabbing into my skin through the thin fabric of my gloves. "What. Did you. Do?" I growled, venom dripping from my words.

"Karena, you have to understand that none of this was my idea. It was all in the name of fun!" He slowly made his way forward. "Don't you understand that-"

"_Get away!"_ I screamed at him. Still, he pulled me into his arms, hushing me softly, stroking my hair. Soon my throat was sore from the scream, and I didn't have the strength to push him away. All I could do was cry into his chest, arms at my side, and repeat, "Get away...Get away…"

My wings disappeared behind me. Tyki gently played with my hair. "Why did you cut your hair, my angel? It was so beautiful." I couldn't answer; my words failed me when I tried. I would never be his angel again. Not after what he did. Not with these wings. When he found that I wouldn't answer, the older man placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I missed the feeling of kisses, missed how welcoming his caresses were.

Using all my power, I managed to pull myself away from his hold. Sniffling, I didn't bother to dry my tears – let them dry on their own! I put on a brave face once more and gestured to the scars on his chest. "Allen Walker. Did he do this to you?" I demanded.

Tyki seemed to think that I was on his side with the question. He nodded, failing to hide that faint smile from me.

"And did you hurt him?" I growled.

Now his eyes narrowed. "Yes. I did. I would have killed him, too, if that General didn't intervene."

Forgetting his ability to go through anything he wanted, I attempted to slap him across the face. He grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. Giving it a tight squeeze, Tyki brought me closer to him, studying my features. "What is your fascination with that boy? I didn't _kill_ him. He scarred me for life. You'll hit me before questioning him?" There was a darkness in his voice that frightened me, but I tried hard not to let it show.

I struggled to pull away from his grasp. "I don't need to question that poor boy about anything! He's my friend; you tried to kill him! You've scarred him in ways deeper than this wound." With my free hand, I shoved him back, pushing hard on the wound.

Tyki inhaled sharply in pain, and suddenly I found myself pinned to the wall by my throat. My airways were cut off; I struggled to find even the smallest breath. My lover's lips brushed against my ear as he hissed, "You know I would never hurt you. But you are trying my patience tonight." His fingers loosened around my neck, allowing me to breathe precious air once again. "I love you, Karena. Don't you understand that?"

I didn't understand much that night. How could Tyki ever possibly love me? If he did, how could I love him like he loved me? Slowly, he released his hold on my neck. His beautiful eyes searched up and down my body before he pulled me into a passionate kiss. I can't recall the last time he ever kissed me in such a way, if ever. It should have been a beautiful moment for us…but I hated him. I hated him for all he was and all he'd done.

Our passion play was cut short by a pounding on the door. It was Sheryl, calling Tyki out, telling him to hurry and that his carriage was outside waiting for him. Tyki shot a glare at the door. "Go on ahead, Brother! I'll be out soon." Then he turned and caught my arm. "Listen," he whispered, "I want to see you again – on better terms. Meet me by the fountain in town square two days from now, and I swear we will talk then." His hand slid down my arm, his eyes showing…sadness? "Please."

But the scars on his chest reminded me of whom he was. The badge on my breast reminded me of who I was. Even if I decided that I loved him with all my heart, no matter what he's done to my friends, it could never be. If we were to run away with each other, we certainly would be hunted down. All Exorcists and Noah would most likely work together to kill us both. I wouldn't be able to hold them off, neither would Tyki.

So maybe I did it for both our sakes, or maybe I was just tired of being fooled by the man who said he loved me. Gently, I pushed away his hand and took a step to the side, closer to the balcony, shaking my head. "No…" I said. "No, Tyki. I don't ever want to see you again." The expression that crossed his felt looked like he'd just been stabbed, just like my heart felt it was being stabbed over and over as I spoke. "I love my family more than anything. I won't…I won't give in to you."

I had to choke out the next words: "I – don't…love you…And the next time we meet, I will kill you."

Tyki grit his teeth, in anger, I think. "Karena…" he started, stepping towards me. But just as he took that step, I spread my gray wings and took flight. I know it was the right thing to do, but I cried anyway.

**| – – – – |**

Months later, the Order had finally packed everything inside the castle. Allen, Lenalee, Johnny, and Komui should be arriving at our new headquarters soon. From there, Allen would open a new Ark that connected there to here, and that's how we'd move everything. We'd give the Ark a day, and then we would start moving the day after. I still hadn't seen the likes of Tyki Mikk. Sometimes I would daydream of what it would be like the day I would finally see him – would he try to kill me first? Would he attempt to make amends? We haven't seen hide nor hair of any Noah, really. On the upside of things, we all got new uniforms after that battle, too!

The uniforms were black with red trimmings this time. Mine was a long, comfortable coat that reached my ankles. My torso was snugged up underneath the dark fabric of the coat, but my red skirt and black stockings were shown to the public. Black and red leather boots reached up to my knees once again; black, fingerless gloves hugged my hands. I don't know why, but I always liked loose sleeves, and Johnny is always happy to oblige. I think these uniforms are my favorite of them all.

Ah, but I bet you don't care about my attire. You're probably wondering if in the months it took the Black Order to pack and get ready to move, have I spoken to my uncle yet? Sadly, no. He mostly stayed in his room while we all packed. I wasn't allowed inside at all; besides that, I was busy helping out. Every night, I thought of the day we'd all be settled in and I would get to see him, talk to him.

Earlier as I set the suitcase full of my clothes outside my door, I saw him pass by with Komui. Cross and the other generals were going to be staying at the new headquarters while we brought everything over there. I was surprised to know that a building actually existed aside from our castle that could hold as many rooms necessary for the whole organization.

At this point, I stood in my old room, lost in thought. I'd stayed here for many long years. It was almost hard to say goodbye to these stony walls. Touching the wall, I smiled my last goodbyes. It was late, and I'd sleep in here on the floor for the last time. Interrupting my reminiscing, a shadow stood in the doorway. I turned to see Chaoji Han standing there. Smiling, I greeted him warmly. He blushed and stepped into the room.

"H-hello, Karena. Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head. Chaoji was a bit on the chunky side, but that didn't matter, really. As long as he knew how to run, dodge, and fight, he was a worthy Exorcist.

"I'm fine," I assured him, "just saying my last farewell to my room. I'm gonna miss this place." I placed my hand on my hip and scratched my head. "I've been here since I was fifteen." Chaoji also may be shorter than me, but he's older by a year. This is barely his first year as an Exorcist. His Innocence is worn as white gloves, giving him super-human strength.

He was a curious sort and easily amused. "Wow, four years?" he awed.

I nodded. "Yep – going in a few months."

"That's cool, Karena!" he exclaimed, clasping his hands, blush deepening. "Soon, we'll be pretty much the same age. A-and then maybe-"

"Oi!" called Kanda from the doorway, making Chaoji jump nearly out of his skin. "Get back to work. Your work is still not done." The handsome samurai folded his arms across his chest, giving poor Chaoji the glare of a lifetime. The older man bowed quickly to me, apologizing for having to leave so early. I waved it off and shooed him away to his work.

I waited until he was all the way down the hallway to come stand by Kanda and shake my head at him. "You're terrible, Kanda. Can't anybody have a break around here, huh?"

"No," he said simply. "We're moving everything tomorrow and there is still more things to be done."

"Then get back to work, you workaholic!" I exclaimed jokingly. Still, the boy rolled his eyes and strode off down the hall. I watched him go and smiled to myself. Allen should have been arriving at the new Order as I spoke. It was late anyway, so, closing the door behind me, I sat against the corner in the vacant room and soon fell asleep.

…

…I wish I could say what happened next was only a dream. Sometimes I even try to convince myself that, but it never works. The truth is undeniable.

It was even later at night when I woke up. My butt was sore from sleeping sitting up on the hard floor. I exited the room to see the halls were dark. I missed out on the last bit of packing, I guess, and now everyone was asleep. Lighting a candle I found, I headed to the Ark. On the way there, I questioned myself as to why I was heading to the Ark of all places. My mind was hell-bent on finding Cross. I should have waited till morning; I would have if my sleepy feet and hazy mind weren't leading the way.

Stepping through the Ark and into the door marked 3, I saw that this new Order was amazingly huge – and this was just the parlor! Fully awake now, I went in search of Komui. I had no idea where Cross would be, so I thought the Chief would know. The halls were wider than the ones back home. This new building wasn't round shaped like I was used to. It was an actual building, not a castle. Chandeliers hung on the ceilings, lighting my way. A tall window way across the hall showed that it was raining outside. How long was it until I…

Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. Where…was I going? I didn't know where Komui's office is! I-

Two snoring guards around the corner led me straight to my goal. It was obvious that if they were guarding a door, there was someone of importance in there. The poor fools were sleeping; let them sleep. It must be Komui's office, I figured, so I knocked gently, careful not to wake the guards. I knocked twice and there was no answer. Frowning, I knocked again. Was Komui awake?

Just as I went to reach for the door handle, the door suddenly swung open and a gun was pointed to my head. Inhaling sharply, I flinched away from the barrel pointed at my temple. It wasn't Komui that these men were guarding – it was Cross! The tall man blinked and lowered the gun. "Can I help you?" he asked suspiciously.

"G-general," I said timidly, "may I come in? I'd like to speak to you…"

His brick-colored eyes gave me a long once-over, and then he smirked a bit and allowed me inside. Closing the door behind me, he leaned against the wall and asked, "So, what brings a beautiful woman like you to my quarters this late at night?"

I blushed, both embarrassed and shocked he'd say that. I let out a small chortle. "I don't think that's any way to speak to your niece…" I said awkwardly.

He seemed taken back. "Excuse me?"

Our brown eyes met and the realization sank in, making me frown. "Did you…not know?" I asked, sadness lacing into my voice. "Your brother had a child – m-me! You're my uncle, General! I've been searching for you…my whole life…" Desperation made its way in there, too.

My uncle's eyes grew wide as I spoke. I could tell it finally clicked for him. Yes! After nineteen years, he remembers me!

But when he shook his head, dread filled my gut. Distressed, Cross made his way over to the windowsill and sat down, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He lit up the cancer stick and took a long inhale before he spoke. "Listen, kid," he said. "I thought you'd have known all this time. What did that idiot do, drop you on your head when he tried to kill ya?"

Not liking where this conversation was going, I sat down in a comfy chair, though at the moment, it felt like sitting on hot rocks. "I…I don't know what happened when he did that. All I remember is him pointing a gun at my head and then everything goes blank."

Cross exhaled smoke once more. "No wonder. I'm surprised you're even alive, kid…"

"What do you mean, uncle? What are you trying to say to me? Just come out with it!" I snapped, my voice cracking with fear and anticipation.

The handsome general gave me a stern look. "I'm saying that wasn't really your father raising you all those years." He didn't even pause for dramatic effect or to brace me. "I'm saying that man that tried to kill you was a modified Akuma that I made a long ass time ago."


	26. The Twentysixth Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

My heart pounded against my chest.

_Not my father…?_

What he said made me torn between relief and melancholy. All my life I've been living with the grief of killing my father. But he wasn't my father after all – he was an Akuma. Still, he was the man that raised me; he was the closest thing to a father I had as a child. But then…

I leaned forward in the chair, tangling my fingers in my hair, staring at the ground in disbelief, speechless. Melancholy was slowly starting to take over relief. "But then…i-if that man wasn't my real father…then who is?" I swung my head up to meet Cross's eyes. "Is it you? Are you my father, Cross? I…I sort of look like you, don't I?" I stood on shaky feet. "We have the same hair and eyes! You must be!"

"Calm down, girl!" Cross snapped. "I'm not your father: If I was, I would have recognized you right away. It's only coincidence that you have red hair and brown eyes like me." My heart sank. The man took a long drag, looking off into space with a distant look in his eye. "It was a long, long time ago when I first saw you as a child, bleeding half to death. I was traveling on the road when that stupid Akuma came to me with a little girl in its arms.

"You were only about seven years old. I had modified that Akuma to be good and to do my bidding. Apparently he was too good. He told me he had found you in an alley, being beaten by an older man. If he hadn't found you and taken you to me, you would have died from the head trauma. The man beating you was your real father. He killed your mother and took you into an alley to kill you, too."

Cross paused. I could feel myself trembling hard. No matter how tightly I clenched my fists, I couldn't stop.

"The Akuma was the only one to pass by and do anything. You didn't know you had Innocence yet and couldn't fly away, but the Akuma sensed it in you. He killed your father and quickly found me." He shifted his eyes to me. "You were unconscious and had taken a tremendous amount of damage to the head, which could explain your memory problem."

"_Karena, do you have dysphasia?"_

I touched my head again at the memory, the pain of my long lost childhood returning faintly.

"_It's caused by a stroke or head trauma."_

"And…it would also explain…why I can't write…" I whispered slowly.

Cross didn't ask questions, just nodded and grunted. He exhaled more smoke before continuing. He was a ways away from me, but still the toxins felt suffocating. "So, I took you to a friend of mine I knew could patch you up. The Akuma never took his eyes off of you. While you were in treatment, he asked me what was going to happen to you. Hell, I didn't even know if you were going to live. I told him that if you did live, there was nothing we could do. I wasn't fit to care for a child on the road, and he didn't tell me that you were an Accommodator.

"Hmph. He probably did that on purpose so that I wouldn't take you away to the Order. When the woman was done doing her work, he sat right by your side the whole time, just watching you sleep. That stupid Akuma was my most successful experiment. You slept for days. The day before you awoke, the Akuma asked me if he could take care of you. It was ridiculous. I told him no – that if he were to care for you, he'd end up killing you."

General Cross shook his head. "But he didn't listen. He kept asking and asking, begging me to let him keep you. 'She's so small,' he said. 'And she needs someone to care for her. She won't make it out there by herself.' No offense, but you were none of my concern. Finally, I said OK, but that if he killed you, I would be back to kill him.

"Tch. That fool successfully cared for you for three years before he went berserk. The desire to kill was too great for him. He was an Akuma, after all. But he never told me that you were an Accommodator, just so he could keep you. And when the time came that he couldn't control himself, you had the ability to kill him." Our eyes locked together. "And you did, didn't you."

I was crying now. Crying hard. "Yeah," I croaked, "I killed 'im." My shoulders shook with my sobs. I buried my face in my hands, ashamed that I couldn't stop myself from crying in front of the general. Still, he didn't say a word – just watched me with unreadable eyes. Every time I attempted to open my mouth to say something, I choked up on the words. Pulling my hands away from my wet eyes, I stared at my palms as if I were an alien. I didn't know myself anymore. My life is a lie.

"I've spent…nine years…_dreaming_ of the day I finally got to meet my uncle – my last remaining family." My eyes glided up to Cross to see that he was a bit shocked at my words. "And now that I've found you, you-you tell me that my waiting…was for nothing? That we have no relation. That I've been beating myself up all my life because I thought I killed my father…for-for nothing!" I shook my head, trying to rid myself of a headache. "I can't…I-I can't just leave it like this! Please, General, please…"

More tears welled in my eyes. "This can't be true…Please tell me you're lying to me. I don't want to be alone anymore!" Clutching my arms, I tried as hard as I could not to fall to my knees, though my knees buckled and I was trembling.

My eyes were closed so tight, I didn't notice General Cross put out his cigarette and cross the room. Suddenly his hands held my arms and I was forced to look him in the eye. "I'm not going to revoke what I just said. It's the truth. But you aren't alone. When you're an Exorcist, you are never alone." His gloved hands tightened their grip. "Do you understand me? Your blood relatives may be dead, but you've still got your comrades."

He was right…He was right. My father killed my mother, and he was going to kill me, too. The Akuma I thought was my father also tried to kill me. If I had a perfect life with my real mother and father, who knows how long it would have taken the Order to find me? So, even though being an Exorcist caused me to fall in love with my enemy; even though being an Exorcist is the reason I've lost so many friends…being an Exorcist has allowed me to meet so many amazing people.

Lenalee…Kanda…Lavi…_Allen…_I wouldn't trade up our friendship for the world.

Cross let go of my arms and took a step back, allowing me to think over his words. After a long while of thinking, the tears finally stopped and I smiled to myself. "General…" I started. He nodded. Without warning, I thrust forward and embraced him tightly. He was startled at the tight hug, but then slowly hugged back. "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

We stayed in this position for a good few minutes. It might have been the best hug I've had in my life. Finally, we both pulled away and looked at each other, smiling. Cross rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Look at me," he said, exhaling. "First Allen, now this kid. I'm getting too soft for this. Tiedoll's gonna give me hell if he finds out."

This made me laugh. Apparently Cross wasn't the touchy-feely type like General Tiedoll was. "Don't worry; your reputation is safe with me," I promised.

He started to say something, then thought something else and held up my head to him with his knuckle under my chin. "Maybe you should cry more often. Your eyes seem to get brighter after you cry," he noted.

I laughed once more before backing away out of his hold. "I'll try to keep that in mind, but don't count on it, General." Placing my hands on my hips because I had no pockets, I headed for the door. Before I left the room, I turned back to him. "Good night…Cross," I said quietly, tenderness painting my tone.

With a nod, he smiled and dismissed me from the room.

I can't tell you how many times I wish I'd stayed with him.


	27. The Twentyseventh Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

I thought it seemed especially cold when I went to sleep last night. At some point during the night, I awoke in a cold sweat. But…I thought it was nothing. It wasn't nothing. This morning, I walked out of my room to chaos. Last night, after I left Cross's room, he died. They found him with a bullet through his chest.

Some suspect suicide only because they can't imagine anyone who could get into the Order passed us. I mean, no one even knows where we are! I can't imagine why on earth he'd commit suicide. But it hurts. I don't know a lot of things, but one thing I do is pain. Even though I found out that he isn't my uncle, there's still some part of me that felt as though he was still a part of my family.

Hm…I barely knew the guy. I just don't learn not to get attached. I can't. It's too hard. I'm not like Lavi.

I've been outside in the cold rain all day. I'm just…standing here, tears turning to ice on my cheeks as the rain beats down on me. I'm thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. Funny, you'd think that my meeting with the General last night would still have me in bright spirits. Thing is, I'm not happy at all. _How many comrades have I lost now?_ I wonder, looking up to the dark sky.

The long, black hooded coat protected me from the rain, but I want more protection than this. I want someone's arms around me, holding me tight and letting me know that I'm not alone. Because more than ever…I'm lonely. I hate to trouble Allen with my grief added to his: He just lost his Master, for Christ's sake. Kanda is always so distant: I've never been able to get close to him. Hell, the closest we've been to hugging was when I fell into his arms after the attack.

Lavi would be perfect to hold, but I know about Bookmen. They're not allowed to get attached to people; their only goal in life is to record history. We're all just 'ink on paper' to them. To ask Lavi to show me love would probably be asking him if he wanted to die or not. If a Bookman were to ever break these set rules of detaching himself from others, he'd be shunned as a Bookman and most likely killed. They were that strict.

I suppose I could spend girl time with Lenalee. No, female affection isn't what I want. There can only be one last resort…

Tyki. Oh, God…Tyki. I love him. I love him so much and I let him go. I held my arms, hanging my head as memories of our love-making flashed through my mind. How can you love someone and hate their guts at the same time? _You're only attached to him because he was the first person to ever love you,_ I chided myself. Maybe that's true. Maybe I don't care.

He's never done anything directly to me. I only hate him because we're mortal enemies, because he's hurt a young boy I care for. I remember the last thing I said to him: that if we're ever to meet again, I was going to kill him. If I saw him right now, would I fight him? Would I have the strength, the will to? No, I don't think so. I'm so torn the only thing I'm good for right now is standing in the Black Order's vast forest, ignoring the rain for hours.

I also ignore the pain in my legs. They're the least of my worries. Suddenly, an idea popped into my mind: I should run away. It's possible, too. I'll just whip out my wings and fly far, far away from here. Oh, right, it's raining. If I try to fly now, then I'll get wet. It's been hours since I moved from this spot. If I try, maybe I can-

"Oof!"

My legs are painfully asleep. The second I tried to move, I collapsed to the ground. It feels so nice on the ground. The worms are wriggling around in the mud below – they keep me company unlike everyone else. I had planned to spend time with Cross, treat him like a father and hope that he would someday treat me like his daughter. I wanted a family. I still do.

But now that he's gone, I suddenly see that everyone is just too busy for the Angel Exorcist Karena. I bury my eyes in my hands, not attempting to move any more. I'm tired, exhausted, and pessimistic, really. I haven't changed at all, have I? I feel the same way as I started this journey. I met Tyki the same day I also felt lethargic and pissed off. Because I couldn't find Cross.

Fuck.

"Will the memories ever stop…?" I whisper to the grass. Naturally, it doesn't reply. My life was a never-ending circle of pain and memories that will haunt me forever. Why won't the Earth answer me? "Answer me…" I growl, gripping the mud. The world has abandoned me, too, hasn't it? I knew it. I'm going to be forced to be alone for the rest of my days. Physically, I'll never be alone, being in a home filled with people. But mentally, emotionally, I'm the last girl in the world.

"Please answer me…?" I silently beg. Is that a tear running down my cheek or a rain drop?

"Sure," a gentle voice said. "What's your question?" I shifted my eyes to see who was hovering above me just as they held an umbrella over my head to block the rain from my face. Chief Komui's soft smile met my glance. The Asian man wore a coat with no hood, thus the rain poured down on his soft black hair.

I exhaled deeply, knowing that he won't leave me here like this. "Can you help me up?" I asked, holding up my hand. The older man takes my hand firmly in his soft hands and pulls me to my feet. Feeling wobbly, I sway on my legs, but he catches and steadies me.

"Don't worry, Karena…I've got you," he assures.

Does he really have me? I'm not just another badge to him?

Komui leads me back to the Black Order, allowing me to lean on his shoulder for support as I force my legs to move. By the time we got to my room, all the feeling had rushed back to my legs and now I plop down on my bed, feeling sore and weary. Standing for so long without being active is pretty good for the muscles, I guess. I fold my hands in my lap as Komui goes to my dresser and starts going through the drawers. Obviously, while I was outside, someone moved all my things in, but my eyes are too glued to the ground to look around at the room that so resembles my old one.

The Chief produces sweats and a tank top, leaving me to pick out my own undergarments. There are three doors in this new room: the exit, the closet, and my own personal bathroom. Komui opens the bathroom door and places a mat on the floor beside the shower. Then he comes back into the room and removes my soaking coat from my shoulders. Underneath the drenched jacket, I'm dirty and unkempt. Komui notices my never changing deadpan expression and touches my cheek which has dried mud on it.

"Go ahead and jump in the shower," he says. "And then, when you're done, you can come to our new cafeteria and eat as much as you like. I know you're hungry." I don't reply for a long time, figuring it's better to remain silent than open my mouth, say the wrong thing, and breakdown.

Still, he waits for my reply, and when none comes, he sighs, touches my shoulder, then leaves. Komui is a nice guy. I'm proud to have him as a chief. Lenalee must be proud to call him her brother.

There's no point in sitting here in muck, so I stand and strip myself of my clothes. I toss them to the floor and head to the bathroom, finding a warm, dry towel waiting for me after I'm done showering. I've never been in a shower before, but the instructions are basic and I master them quickly. As the water is warming up, I look to my side and catch my reflection in the mirror. Though I've had a full night's sleep, I look worn out, like I haven't slept in days. The girl staring back at me is sad. She's angry at the world, but chooses to show it subtly.

A shower is refreshing after a day in the rain. I only wish the water could wash away my troubles, too.

When I exit the shower, I find my Exorcist uniform clean and folded for me on my bed. Suddenly, I realize that I've grown to despise the clothing and all it represents. Cross was wrong: I _am_ alone, though I'm surrounded by these people who are supposed to care for me. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. I'll have to be that giant ass hawk that comes swooping down on all of those dogs. I'll just have to work hard toward that. Harder than Kanda. Harder than anyone who wants a piece of Karena.

I snatch up the clothes and throw them against the wall. Fashioning on the tank top and sweatpants Komui got out for me, I let myself drop on the bed. I'm tired and ready to sleep forever. For now, it's only the afternoon and I'll take a nap until I'm damn well ready to face my fears.

**| – – – – |**

It's late when I wake up, feeling worse than I did when I went to sleep. _Just how long have I been asleep?_ I wonder, sitting up in bed and scratching sleep out of my eyes. Nothing in my room has been touched since I took my nap. I can't hear anything outside this door, which must mean people are resting up after yet another long day of packing. Outside my window, the rain has gone. The last remaining drops drip down from the roof.

My dreams weren't any brighter. I dreamed that Tyki was waiting for me in the forest. It seemed so real. I touched my head with the idea that Tyki might be contacting me through my dreams. In a rush, I threw on my Exorcist uniform, leaving it unbuttoned. As I stride down the halls, I fix my stockings clumsily. Excitement is bubbling up in my tummy. I haven't seen Tyki i-in so long! It'll be wonderful to…

Wait. Stop, Karena. _You're tired,_ I reminded myself. _The odds of Tyki being in the forest waiting for me are incredibly low._ Sighing downheartedly, I leaned against the wall. He probably hates me for what I told him. I really am a terrible person. Still, I can feel his stare in the back of my mind and I want to take the chance. First, though, I remember now that we might get into a fight. If we're to get into a fight, I am definitely going to be ready. Pounding someone's face in sounds nice right about now.

First, I find Lenalee's room, peek in, and see her sleeping peacefully on her bed. The beautiful Asian girl's hair has grown quite a lot in these few months. She's sixteen, just a year older than Allen. It makes me sad to see such a pretty little girl fighting for her life almost every day. I back away, close the door gently.

Next stop is Kanda. It's probably best to check in his room first. Earlier in the month I memorized where my friend's rooms are, where the training room is, where the cafeteria is, and where the library is. Those are the places I go the most. I'll be shown the infirmary when the time comes. For now, I don't even want to this about injuries. So, to Kanda's room it is.

I think about knocking, but that would wake him up. There's no sound inside the room that I can hear, so I carefully peek inside. Just as the door opens enough to see inside, I realize the light is on and Kanda is unpacking. His head swings up and sends me a terrifying glare. Startled, I shut the door and attempt to run down the hall.

"Hey!" his voice calls from down the way, halting me in my tracks. I don't turn to face him. "Karena." I'm as still as a plank. "Karena!" he snaps. Slowly, reluctantly, I turn and shrink away from his glare. "Get to work or go back to bed. There are things still to be done." Then he slams the door shut, causing me to wince.

Kanda would never change. He'll never get that stick out of his ass.

Two more stops before I go to see Tyki. My mind feels empty as I make my way to Allen's room. He's also sleeping soundly, doesn't even stir as I open the door. I wonder if he cried himself to sleep as I did many nights after my Master – General Yeegar – died. Fifteen years old Allen Walker. He was the supposed "Destroyer of Time." There's also some controversy about "The 14th"? I don't know what it is. Something tells me I don't _want_ to know. I already want to cry at all the things he's gone through at such a young age.

I can almost relate to him: joining the Order at fifteen, meeting Noah and getting into trouble with them. Before I can stop myself, I'm crossing the room. Soon, I'm sitting on his bed carefully, studying every feature I can see. His smooth porcelain; the deep scar that runs down his left eye, topped off with a star shape; the soft silver strands splayed over his forehead; the way his chest rises and falls rhythmically.

This little boy is perfect. He shouldn't be succumbed in the life of an Exorcist. Tears sting the back of my eyes. I shake my head to rid them. Leaning down, still careful not to wake him, I place a kiss on his cheek, right on his scar. He'll most likely never know that I gave him a kiss, but I hope he knows that I care for him.

Finally, as if on instinct, I make my way to the library where I have a hunch I'll find Lavi. He's there, placing books on the shelves. I smile upon seeing him at the top of the ladder. I step inside the quiet, nearly empty library. "Do you need any help?" I ask softly.

Blinking, he turns and sees me – smiles when he does. "Sure," he says. "Ah, hand me that stack of books right there on the table, yeah?" I love his carefree nature. Spreading my gray wings, I take the stack of heavy books and float up to him. My eyes are attentive to every move he makes. He's so…at ease here. Though his one emerald eye shows that he hasn't had a full night's sleep in a few days.

"Do you want me to do this?" I ask, tilting my head.

"Nah, it's okay. I memorized where everything went before; it'd be a bother to have you constantly ask where to put what." His grin made me want to faint. Lavi took the books from my hands and slid around the room putting different books different places. I glide to the floor and sort through the books on the desk. These were history text books. One in particular catches my eye: _The Czars of Russia._ I can't pronounce the name, but it looks interesting.

One over a hundred years ago, there was the greatest Russian monarch – Peter the Great. I skip through the pages, catching only a few words here and there. But suddenly, I spot a picture and stop. It's a picture of a group of men watching a dead man get dissected. The men around Peter look sickened, but Peter looks unimpressed. An odd feeling in my stomach makes me sick.

"Lavi?" I call over to him.

Lavi slides down the ladder and walks over to me. "Yeah? What's wrong?" His eye studied the unreasonable frown on my face.

"Hey, so" – I tap on the tall man in the picture – "this is Peter the Great, right?"

He nods.

"Who are these people?" My fingers trace over the group of old men behind him.

"Um…" He pauses, gathering up books in his hands. "I don't know? I don't think anyone knows, unless they were there." He chuckled deviously. "I bet my old man was there!"

His laughter has always filled me with joy, but not now. When Lavi realized that I wasn't making a sound, he turned to see me crying. "K-Karena, what's wrong?" he asks concerned. I can't answer. Tears are suffocating me. I wish I could stop crying, stop overthinking every little thing. Lavi comes over to me and grabs my arms.

"I'm scared, Lavi," I sob, pulling myself into his embrace.

"Scared?" he asks. "Scared of what?"

"Of ending up like them!" I bemoan. "I don't want to be forgotten, lost in history. Someday, I'll die and then I'll be forgotten forever. No one will know me or-or my past or the things I've done…!"

Lavi pulls away a few inches and looks me in the eye. "Karena…you're an Exorcist. What we do will never be forgotten. We're heroes! We fight demons for a living, save lives. People will remember us forever."

I put my head down, shaking my head in denial. "No, that isn't true. Do you even realize how many people remember Kazana Reed? Or Chakar or Tina, Gwen, Sol, Daisya...And Ashton, Lavi. We don't ever mention them anymore. Has the Order forgotten about them completely?"

Lavi shakes his head in response. "That isn't true, Karena. All Exorcists are remembered in Bookmen's records."

"No one is allowed to see your records, Lavi. That isn't good enough for me!" I snap. Then I catch myself and wipe away my tears. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to yell."

The tall Exorcist looks to the floor. "No, I understand…" He exhaled. "Listen, I have a perfect memory, and…I want to help you." He slides his hands down my arms. "Will you tell me your past, the things you've done?" When he offered a smile, I couldn't refuse.

Oh, man, what had I just said? As Lavi helped me sit in a chair and pulled one up himself, I questioned whether I was willing to tell Lavi, the handsome Bookman. I trust Lavi, trust him with my life. What will he say to me if I tell him about Tyki? Oh, God, I can't tell him. I won't. "Oh, man, what's wrong now, Karena?" Lavi asks anxiously.

"I can't tell you, Lavi…You'll hate me."

"Hey." Suddenly Lavi's hand is suddenly on mine. "I could never. Hate you. All right?" He loosens his grip, but doesn't let go. "Please tell me, Karena…and I'll make sure you're never forgotten."

And so, with much hesitation, I sat there and told this man everything, just as I've been telling you my story the whole way through. I don't cry. Lavi doesn't judge. On occasions his expression will change and show me that he's listening, but all the way through my story he's silent as a stone, soaking in everything like a memory sponge.

I end with the last time I saw Cross, and then wearily say, "And…here I am." Lavi's still silent. He looks away a moment and my heart gives a twist. "You hate me, don't you." I bury my eyes in my hands. "I'm so sorry, Lavi. All the things I've done – it's unforgivable. If the Order finds out, I'll die for sure!"

Outside, the sky is lightening a bit behind the dark clouds. It must be five in the morning already. I'm tired, but I can't fall asleep now. After Lavi is silent for three minutes, I push back my chair and stand. _"I'm sorry," _I whisper brokenly. Just then, Lavi wraps his arms around me, pulling me to a halt. I wait questioningly for him to say _something._ The seconds are agonizing.

"You were the last person to see General Cross," he notes. I nod. "You gave up the man you thought you loved because you love us." I nod again. Finally, he asked me questions that hit my heart hard: "Do you have feelings for Yu?" Slowly, I shake my head. I can't love Kanda because he won't let me get close to him, no matter how much I long to. "Do you have feelings for Allen?" Again, slowly, surely, I shake my head. Allen is more of a little brother to me; I love him in a family way, _and _he's extremely young for me.

"Do you have feelings for – me?"

I can't answer that. No, I'm serious. I really can't. I can't distinguish my feelings for Lavi. Is he a brother to me? Or is he a lover to me? I honestly don't know. When I don't answer, he releases me, and I'm immediately striding out the door.

"Karena…" he whispers my name, then when he sees I'm leaving, he calls after me. "Karena, please…! Come back. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the forest," I say solemnly. "Please don't follow me."

What I'm going to do in the forest, I have no idea. All I want to do is get out of here. I don't know if he didn't follow me out of confusion or respect of my wishes, but Lavi didn't follow. I made my way out of the Order and straight into the forest aimlessly. Hopefully I'll get lost, never be found, and die there.

I wander between trees, not knowing if I'm supposed to keep going south or west or east or where. I don't really care; I'm going south: no one will stop me. After half an hour of twisting through the forest, I come to the end of the forest concealing the Order and look around. We're on an island. There's a path leading to another forest. That's the forest that must lead to town eventually. I can always fly to town. I can fly off the island and get away from everyone. However, I'm exhausted. Maybe, if I can make it to town, I'll stay in an inn there, then fly off in the morning. For now, the clouds this morning are intimidating and low. I shouldn't take the chance of getting caught in the rain: a drop over the middle of the forest or over the ocean will most likely kill me, and rain is imminent.

Tempting, though.

So, once again, I force myself through the winding forest. Though the clouds didn't get any brighter, the sky behind them did, and I knew it was morning now. Time flies when all thoughts of your entire life is juggling around in your head. Finally, after another hour, I found a clearing. It would do me some good to take a rest.

I collapsed on my butt, leaned against a tree. Shit. What am I gonna do if someone from the Order comes to retrieve me? I won't have the energy to fight. I won't have the energy to flee. Has Lavi already informed Komui about my betrayal? He wouldn't, would he?

_Trust him,_ said my conscious. _You gave up Tyki for your friends because you love them and you trust them. It's all about trust._

Just then, a pair of nice shoes stepped into my view on the grass. The dress shoes led to dress pants. Dress pants led to a button-up shirt. And the shirt led to…Tyki. All I can do for now is stare at him with tired eyes. He smiles dazzlingly. "I know what you're thinking," he says. "And don't worry; the Earl is making us some uniforms for ourselves. I won't be wearing this attire all my life."

That wasn't what I was thinking, but I was in no position to say so. Tyki crouches before me and studies me with troubled interest. He just keeps getting more and more gorgeous, doesn't he? I close my eyes, finding no energy to keep them open.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly. "You're not going to kill me?"

I think of what to say to that for a long time. What can I say? I can't even talk. Then the next thing I know, I feel his gloved hand on my chest. I don't dare open my eyes. I can feel his hand phase into my chest and he touches my heart. I'll die now, I guess. This isn't so bad.

His fingers wrap around my heart.

My wings start to tingle behind me. I can almost feel the Innocence screaming. Screaming, _What are you doing, Karena? Fight him! Kill him! Don't let him do this to you; you're an Exorcist! Fight!_

I loll my head to the side.

"I love you, Karena," Tyki whispers.

At that, I open my eyes and see his gold eyes boring into mine.

I


	28. The Final Chapter

**D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino**

…

…

_Bookman's Log_

_October xx, xxxx_

_Current name: Lavi, Exorcist of the Black Order_

_Subject name: Karena, "The Angel Exorcist" of the Black Order_

_It has been over a week since nineteen-year-old Exorcist Karena went missing. The night before the disappearance, she and I were in the Black Order's library. Karena informed me of her past and everything she had been through in her five years of being an Exorcist. She was the last person to come in contact with General Cross Marian before he died. The General told her of her forgotten childhood._

_As a child, Karena's father killed her mother and attempted to murder her. Karena was saved by one of Cross's modified Akuma. For three years, the Akuma was stable enough to take care of her. Then, one day, when Karena was ten years old, the Akuma lost control and attempted to kill her. With new found Innocence, the girl destroyed the man she thought was her father. _

_Later in the year, on a journey to find her "uncle," the deceased Cross Marian, Karena ran into two Noah for the first time. The Noah were Tyki Mikk and Sheryl Kamelot. The two men massacred all party members. Fortunately, Karena was able to fly away. _

_Years later, the red-haired Exorcist girl mastered her Innocence and found the Black Order. During her time here, she lost many close comrades, including Ashton Knight, General Kevin Yeegar, Daisya Barry, Sol Galen, Gwen Fraer, Tina Spark, Kazana Reed, Chakar Labón, and Suman Dark. The terrors Karena had seen were nearly the same as any Exorcist, but her soft heart could not take it, driving her slowly into an unstable mind._

_From the beatings she received from her true father at a young age, Karena was not able to write as she had minor dysphasia. For years, she kept the disability to herself. I showed her the pleasure of books and reading, though I fear now that by her reading fiction, she might have been able to fall into fantasy worlds to escape her own._

_When the girl became a woman at age nineteen, she plotted ways to get revenge on Tyki Mikk for killing her General. However, she was only a woman and fell into Tyki Mikk's charm. Behind the backs of the Black Order and the Clan of Noah, they had a secret love affair. By sleeping with him and getting to know the man, Karena believed that he truly loved her. The man went so far as to challenge his older brother when he – Sheryl Kamelot – threatened Karena's life._

_Not long after this sneaking around, I was called to a mission to find General Cross with Allen Walker, Arystar Krory, Yu Kanda, Bookman, Lenalee Lee, and Miranda Lotto. When we returned, the Order was attacked by a Level Four Akuma. The Akuma forced Karena to extend her Innocence and nearly lose herself. Her Innocence level was unstable and there was no way she could control herself from attacking even her friends. It was Yu Kanda who snapped her out of it. _

_After said attack on the Black Order, Karena snuck away to find Tyki Mikk a completely different person. She shunned him and threatened his life if they were to meet again. Tyki had almost killed her friends, and she wouldn't stand betraying her home any longer. _

_Months later, Karena confronted the man she thought was her uncle. There General Cross revealed her past, and then sent her on her way. That very same night, General Cross Marian died. _

_After his death, Karena's mind spired to the edge of insanity. She became depressed and suicidal. Then, after she consoled in me her fears of being forgotten and alone, she ran away into the forest, never to be seen again._

_I am still searching for her. I will never forget her. As long as there is still the chance that she is alive, I will make sure that I find her. The Order has made it a priority as well, but they are only planning to execute her for heresy. No, they do not know about her betrayal with the Noah, but they believe that there is no escape from their organization. When they find her, they will kill her._

_If I find her, I will make sure she is safe and away from all this chaos. _

_Bookmen are not allowed to love. I am not saying I love her in that way, but I do care for her, despite my Bookman heritage. Before she left me that night, I asked her if she had feelings for Yu Kanda. She said no. I then asked her if she had feelings for Allen Walker, and she said no. But when I asked her how she felt about me, she did not answer. I want answers; I will not rest until I find her and comfort her one last time. _

_Signing off,_

_Lavi_

It is day two of the search for Karena. There are no leads. Today is the first time that Lavi is allowed out of the Order to search for her himself. He did not tell Bookman these were his reasons for leaving the walls of the church. Lavi spent the whole day searching through the forest surrounding the Order. As far as he knew, no one has searched _everywhere_ in this forest, but that is what he planned to do. When it got dark, he was forced to call it a day.

However, the next day, Lavi came to a new clearing in the forest, and – damn…how could they miss _this?_

The area was obviously a battlefield. Trees were split through the middle, toppled over on one another. Dried blood stained the grass beneath his boots. On a tree, Lavi found a piece of torn cloth. It was a jacket of a fine fabric. Yes, this piece of clothing was unmistakable. Tyki Mikk was here, and so was Karena.

Lavi suddenly found it hard to breathe. "Karena!" he called out to the forest, desperately hoping for a reply. A few birds scattered from the trees, but there was no sign of Karena anywhere. Cupping his hand around his mouth, he called even louder: _"Karena!"_ His throat burned now. Lavi wet his lips and looked around. The forest was dead silent.

"Lavi?"

Was it her? Lavi spun on his heel…and met Allen Walker's worried stare. "Did-did you find her?" asked the boy.

Lavi sighed deeply. "No…I didn't. But look at this, Allen. She was here!" He held up Tyki's torn jacket piece. "And Tyki was here, too."

A fire blazed in Allen's eyes, and he stepped forward, snatching the cloth. Something told Allen that Tyki had something to do with this. Though he had no idea of what Tyki's relationship to Karena was, Allen knew Tyki was the cause of her disappearance. The two Exorcists listened intently to the world around them. Just as Allen was about to speak, Lavi silenced him, hearing something.

It was the ocean! And it wasn't far off.

As if reading one another's mind, Allen and Lavi took off to their left. They didn't stop running until they found the ocean that surrounded their island. The wind picked up around them.

Lavi caught it before it could be washed away in the wind. The two examined the eerily black feather. It was soft and sleek. A faint luminous green glowed around the feather. Innocence. Karena's Innocence.

"It can't be…" Allen whispered.

Looking beneath his feet, Lavi saw they were standing in a dark red patch in the grass: blood. Karena's blood, no doubt. Could she have been injured and flew off into the distance? Did she try to fly, but plummet into the sea?

Allen soon found himself breathless as well. "Let me see," he demanded, reaching for the feather. But just as soon as his fingertips touched it, the feather disappeared in sparkles. Tears formed in Allen's eyes. Now there was no way to tell if Karena was alive or not. She was gone, gone forever.

That feather was the last thing left of her, and now she's gone.

Karena – The Angel Exorcist.

**End**


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